NaNoWriMo 2011: M2F (Part One)

As the sunlight began to peek through the glossy curtains, a thin hand reached out from the bundle of blankets to silence the noisy alarm clock. A long-haired boy peeked over his shoulder at the clock. Seven AM. No matter how many times he saw it, he never liked the look of it. He sighed, turning over onto his back and stretching his arms up above his head. His fingers pulled through his hair and he shrugged out of the folds of fabric to stretch his toes into the carpet.

For the most part, looking at Jonathan Green was like looking at any other boy, until you took a few things into account. Such as the pastel blue silk pajama pants and the spaghetti strap tank top that no boy would be caught dead in. As he stretched forward, his hair seemed to fall into place and the delicate features he’d been blessed with momentarily transformed him, at least for that brief second. He was still flat-chested and sporting morning wood.

He seemed ignorant of that though and got up to go to his closet. The inside was lined with clothing –babydoll cut t-shirts, tanks, and girl-biased sweaters. There was a shelf stacked with jeans, skirts, and Capri pants. Only a couple of lone t-shirts, and a couple pair of basketball shorts –as well as a single suit in the back, gave any indication that the owner of the closet might be male.

Jonathan took his time selecting a t-shirt, a denim skirt, and underwear from the closet. Then he went to the dresser and withdrew a large bag before slipping from his bedroom and into the silent hallway. From the kitchen wafted the scent of breakfast; bacon, eggs, pancakes, and maple syrup. His mouth watered as he closed himself into the bathroom and he focused on getting ready for the day.

The first thing to go on was his chest; a set of falsies similar to those favored by cancer patients. On the tight budget his parents had allotted him for his transition, it seemed the best option. He couldn’t help but frown every time he put them on; they weren’t quite large enough for his own liking, but they helped define the girlish figure he was going for, with the slight mound that showed through even a baggy t-shirt, and most definitely under a tight sweater. Then he dressed and did his make-up; not a lot, just enough to pull attention away from the masculine features.

And within twenty minutes, Jonathan Green disappeared, and Taylor Green was ready for school.

“Hi Dad,” she dropped her backpack on the floor by the door before pressing a kiss to her father’s temple. She rounded the table and took a seat.

“Hey, honey,” Charles Green didn’t look at his son-now-daughter twice. “Anything happening at school today?”

“Um,” she pondered for a moment, “I think I have a test in Chemistry, but I’m not sure.”

“Did you study for it?”

“Sort of. It’ll be fine, I’m sure.”

He frowned, but shook his paper.

“Jon, do you want orange juice?” Patricia Green was the first to give her child a once over.

Taylor held her breath and counted to five. “Taylor, Mom. Taylor. And no, thanks.”

“I told you before; I didn’t spend fifteen hours in labor with a girl.” Patricia shook her head. “And I’ll remind you of it every morning until this…phase of yours ends.”

Taylor and her father shared a look behind Patricia’s back, but didn’t say anything. A little secret shared between father and daughter.

Taylor piled a bit of the eggs and bacon on top of one of her pancakes before rolling it up and taking a huge bite out of it. She chewed quickly before changing the subject, “I have a GSA meeting after school, so I’ll be home late.”

“Don’t forget PFLAG Saturday. You promised to make muffins again.” Charles reminded her.

“Of course, I’ll do it when I get home tomorrow,” she took another bite of the breakfast concoction.

“Good,” he nodded.

“I better go, or I’m going to be late. Deena is meeting me to swap our English papers back,” she rolled up a second pancake. “I’ll see you later.”

“Have a good day,” Charles chimed. Patricia said nothing.

Taylor pulled the door closed behind her and stepped down to the little Honda Civic that she drove. It had seen better days, but it got her from point A to point B. When they heard the car pull out of the drive, Patricia turned on her husband.

“I don’t understand how you can just let him do that to himself.”

“It’s not my place to tell her who to be, Patty,” Charles didn’t look up from his paper.

“He is our son, and letting him go on thinking that he can live that way is insanity. Someone is going to find out.”

“Good,” Charles nodded. “You know, you should be proud of her. Most kids her age are too afraid of being who they are. That she has the courage to walk out of this house every morning, knowing what the worst case scenario is when she does own up to being a transgender, says a lot about our daughter.” He folded his paper and slapped it down on the table. “Instead of treating her like there’s something wrong with her, maybe you should look into the facts about what’s going on with her.”

“She has a disease, and letting him do this just because we moved to a new city--”

“I’m not having this argument with you again, Patty,” Charles shook his head. “If it helps you live day-to-day, our son is gay. But my daughter is happy, and I’m not going to let you take that away from her.”

At school, Taylor opened her locker to stash her books and homework. She hadn’t quite emptied her backpack when her best friend Deena approached, clutching some papers in her hand.

“Hey, your paper was really good, like always,” Deena smiled.

“Yours too. Don’t be afraid of all the red; you know me, I like to comment.”

“That’s all right,” Deena shook her head. “It’s always really helpful.” She brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “So, you missed a really fun sleep-over with Tina last night.”

“Ah, sorry,” Taylor gave her a short smile. “You know my parents and school nights though.”

“Yeah, I know,” Deena shrugged. “Still…you never seem able to come. It’s kind of a downer.”

“Well, you know how busy I am with GSA and PFLAG, not to mention school and stuff,” Taylor held out Deena’s paper. Deena swapped with her and shoved the paper into one of her books.

“Yeah, about that…”

Taylor held a breath and counted to five. It seemed like she was doing a that a lot lately. “Deena, I already told you; just because You don’t like GSA or PFLAG, doesn’t mean that I’m going to give it up. You do stuff that I don’t really like either.”

“I just want to help you out, Taylor,” Deena shook her head. “I know you don’t care about being cool or whatever, and that’s fine. But GSA…it’s like the lowest-of-the-low.”

“I like it, okay?”

“Okay, whatever,” Deena shook her head. “I still think you should have tried out for cheerleading with me.”

“I am so not cheer material,” she rolled her eyes. “Did you do the Spanish homework while you were girling it up with Tina last night?”

“Yeah…I never know if Senora Alvarez wants us to answer the questions in Spanish or English.”

“Well, it is a Spanish class…”

The two walked down the hall towards their first class of the day. More students were beginning to pour into school, creating the buzz that filled a busy school. Lockers closed, voices hummed high and low. Phones rang, papers rustled, and footsteps resonated. School was in session for the day.

A little further down the hall from Taylor and Deena, Tucker North leaned against his locker. His gazes drifted down the hall towards the girls. His sort-of-friend Conrad Wales was talking…Conrad did that a lot. Ever since Tucker had decided to give up being the school bully and make an effort to be more understanding of his fellow students, very Karofsky-ala-Glee, Conrad had made his mission in life to lead Tucker in the right direction.

“—So, at the meeting today, I think you should bring it up to Taylor about her Dad doing that speech for the school. We’ve already got the OK from Principal Keene,” Conrad hadn’t even noticed that Tucker wasn’t listening to him.

“Uh huh,” Tucker nodded.

Conrad frowned, “Look, I know that GSA isn’t totally exciting, but it really is one of the best places you can start making up for your past. As one of your former victims, among other things, it’s important to me—”

“Conrad, please shut up,” Tucker sighed, finally turning to look at him as the girls rounded out of sight. “I know, I hurt you, blah-blah-blah. But seriously, c’mon man, get over it already.”

Conrad frowned, “You know, Jared says that your ability to brush off the important factors of your reformation--”

“Conrad! Don’t get me wrong, I like Jared; he’s a good guy. I’m glad he makes you happy…but he doesn’t know me.” He stood up from the locker, turning to push Conrad up against the lockers. His voice dropped under the din of the other students. “I am not a pet project. I am not gay. I do not have a crush on you.”

“But you kissed me!”

“Yeah, I was confused, but I’m not any more.”

“You don’t just wake up one morning and suddenly not be gay, Tucker.”

“Well…I guess I’m a miracle then,” Tucker shrugged, stepping backwards. “I’ll see you later. I can’t be late for class.”

Conrad frowned, watching his former enemy walk away. He wasn’t sure what it was bothered him so much about the guy, but he really did wish he’d start be honest with himself, especially after so long of trying to play-it-straight…both figuratively and literally.

Hours later, Tucker found himself sitting at the back of the room while Conrad Steele, his boyfriend Jack Krupp, and Taylor conducted a meeting towards the front at the weekly Gay-Straight Alliance meeting. There were a few other people sprinkled around the room; a couple members of Conrad and Jack’s Glee club, someone from the Dance club (obvious by the skin-tight leotard and sweat bands), and a few people who showed up simply to be in the yearbook photo.

“And I think Tucker has a question for Taylor?” Conrad reached out to get Tucker more involved. Tucker shifted in his chair, leaning forward.

“Conrad wanted me to remind you about asking your Dad to one of his speeches,” Tucker met her eyes briefly as she turned to look at him. “I don’t care one way or the other.”

“I’ll have him call Prinicipal Keene.” She gave him a smile, “But his schedule is pretty packed, so it might not happen until next semester.”

“Whatever it takes to get the ball rolling,” Conrad grinned. “Okay, any other new business?”

The chat continued for a few minutes before Conrad called out that they’d be starting their Communication Circle. Tucker got up to half-heartedly help shove the desks out of the way, and they sat in a circle with Conrad, Jack, Tucker, Taylor acting as the four cross points. Everyone filled in around them.

“All right, would anyone like to go first today?” Conrad folded his hands in his lap, sitting ram-rod straight in his chair with his feet tucked demurely under. “Taylor, maybe? You haven’t said much lately.”

Taylor bit her lip. It wasn’t that she wasn’t dying to share Little Jon. She could really use the support group that GSA offered. And while they held the belief that anything said in the Communication Circle stayed in the circle, she knew that it was news that was just too weird not to go around. It wasn’t even that she didn’t rust anyone; she was getting to know people fairly well even though she’d only spent the last eight months at William J. Clinton High School, she was growing to trust some of the characters around school. Deena and Tina, the two girls she’d been able to really become friends with though…that was a different story. She put up with them mostly because they put up with her. They’d taken her under their wing early on to try and lead her the right direction to be a success story at WJC, but she’d quickly grown bored with them. They didn’t share many of the same interests as her; they always wanted to have sleepovers, and if it weren’t for Tina’s excellent language skills, and Deena’s completely daftness at the obvious, she probably would have just moved on ages ago.

“Sure,” she finally nodded. “Umm…I got into a fight with my Mom this morning.” No one prompted her, so she cleared her throat a bit. “Um, she’s still mad about stuff that happened before the move, and while my Dad is fine with it, she just thinks I’m nuts.”

“Are you?” Jack teased.

“Maybe a little,” she shrugged. “I can’t really help who I am though, you know?”

There was a murmur of agreement.

“You know, you never tell us what it is that your Mom is so mad about,” Tucker leaned forward on his knees again. Taylor gave a slight shiver. With his bright blue eyes, it always seemed like he was peering straight into her soul. “I mean, I’ve been sitting here for the last three months and I get that you don’t have a good relationship with your Mom, but I don’t really get why. I thought all girls had decent relationships with their moms.”

The girls in the room laughed. They couldn’t help it, except for Taylor.

“I don’t really want to talk about that, thanks.” Taylor shook her head.

“Okay, okay,” Conrad nodded, “Percy, how about you? Anything going on in your life?” The group moved on to the next victim. Taylor held back her sigh of relief and brushed her fingers through the ends of her hair while listening to Percy go on about his own problems for a few minutes.

Another twenty minutes later, after everyone had shared, Conrad adjourned the meeting. Taylor was still feeling the nervous jitters that accompanied every time someone asked her to explain the relationship with her mother. She picked up her backpack and took her time adjusting it on her shoulders. She wasn’t in any hurry to get home; all the was waiting for her was homework and another lecture about what an abomination she was. Not that her mother had ever really done that, but she knew with just a look that’s what her mother saw, every time she looked at her.

“Hey Sweetie,” a voice sounded in the room and Taylor looked up to see Margo Lopez wrap her arms around Tucker’s shoulders. There were rumors circling that Margo was a lesbian, but Taylor didn’t know whether she believed them or not. She seemed pretty cozy with Tucker for that kind of thing. Then again, she was hiding the fact that she had a penis, so maybe being a good actor was just a trait you acquired when you walked through the doors of Clinton High.

“Hey,” Tucker kissed her cheek. “Are we still having dinner at Risottos?”

“Hmm,” Margo wrinkled her nose. “I shouldn’t have so many carbs. Why don’t we go to Tealeaf instead?”

“Fine, whatever you want,” Tucker shrugged. “You ready to go?”

Margo gave him a coy nod before finally realizing that there were still people milling around from the meeting, “Oh, is your little meeting over?”

“Yeah, so lets go,” Tucker laced his fingers with hers.

“Wait a second!” Conrad waved. “Margo, would you be interested in helping us with our fundraiser?”

Margo frowned, “Fundraiser for what?”

“We’re going to be buying signs declaring that Clinton is a Bully-Free Zone with a Zero-Tolerance Policy.”

“But we don’t have a Zero-Tolerance Policy,” Margo retorted.

“We will next Fall when we have enough money to order the signs,” Conrad replied, unblinkingly.

She frowned, “If I give you five dollars, will you leave me alone?”

“I can’t promise that,” Conrad shrugged.

Margo sighed, pulling a wad of bills from her pocket, peeling away a few of them, “Here’s twenty to never speak to me again. Ever.”

“Again,” Conrad plucked the bills away before she could change her mind, “I make no promises.”

“C’mon Tucker,” Margo linked arms with him again. “I’m starving.”

Tucker gave a small noncommittal wave to the group before letting his girlfriend haul him off.

At Tealeaf, the local watering hole for the teenagers who weren’t old enough to go to Scooters (the other watering hole) and the artsy types, Tucker and Margo sat at a secluded little booth in the back. Here, Margo dropped her typical demeanor and sipped a tall, cold glass of lemonade while Tucker nursed a mug of hot chocolate.

“I can’t wait until we go to college and this stupid charade can end,” she sighed, rubbing her temple.

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to do this,” Tucker shrugged. “I don’t even need you. I’m not gay. I don’t need a beard,” he rolled his eyes.

She raised an eyebrow at him, “Oh really? Look North, we both know you’re just using a coping mechanism.”

He clenched his jaw for a moment before lowering his voice, “Look, think you want, but I like girls. A girl.”

“A girl? Who isn’t me? Aw, Tucker you’re gonna break my heart!” She feigned a swoon before sobering, “Who is it then?”

He frowned, “I don’t think I want to tell you.”

“C’mon…maybe I can hook the two of you up.”

“Taylor Green,” he finally admitted.

“The girl with man hands and big feet? Yeah, honey, you’re not gay at all,” she rolled her eyes.

Tucker let out a long, slow breath. “It’s fine if you don’t believe me, and I’ll help you out with whatever it is that you think you need my help for. But…I’ m not what you think. I thought maybe I was, for a little while, but I’m firmly planted in the Straight column, okay?”

“Sure you are,” she patted his hand. “Tell you what, I’ll have chat with Miss Green and if you find out that she’s exactly what you wanted, then I’ll leave you alone about it. But if she’s not, you’ll admit, at least to me, that you’re gay.”

He mulled over it a moment before nodding, “All right, fine. But be nice to her, okay?”

“I’m always nice,” Margo put on her most innocent face. “Don’t you worry your head, Tucker; I’ll take care of everything.”

Taylor jumped as a hand slammed her locker closed the next morning. She turned to look into dull brown eyes, and she gulped.

“Can we have a chat?” Margo cocked an eyebrow.

“Um, sure,” Taylor nodded.

Margo turned to Deena and Tina, who were waiting for Taylor so they could walk to class together. “Get lost, mites. I just need Tay-tay.”

“We’ll, uh, see you later then,” Deena took a step back, a hand on Tina’s wrist. “Um, good to see you, as always Margo.”

Margo hissed, sending them further backwards before they turned tail and scurried as quickly as they could down the hall.

“Can I help you, Margo?” Taylor asked, hugging her books to her chest.

“My boyfriend, Tucker,” Margo began. “He has a bit of a crush on you.”

Taylor wrinkled her nose, “No he doesn’t.”

“Would I lie about something like that?” Margo asked, then didn’t wait for a reply. “Of course I wouldn’t. So, you’ll have dinner tonight with him at seven, Risottos.”

“Tonight?”

“Is there a problem?”

“Well,” she bit her lip, “no, I guess not.”

“Good,” Margo nodded. “He’ll see you there.” She reached up, brushing her fingers through Taylor’s hair. “Your hair is nice; you use a special shampoo?”

“No,” Taylor shook her head.

“Smells good…like lilac.” Margo leaned forward to close her eyes and take a deep breath. “Hmm. Tucker will like that. Lilac is his favorite.”

“G-good to know, I think.”

“Remember, seven o’clock.” Margo backed away. “Now scoot on to class, little girl.”

It really pained her to obey such an obnoxious order, but Taylor didn’t really have a choice as she “scooted” on to class as the warning bell rang. The rest of her day was spent freaking out about the set-up. Did Tucker really have a crush on her? He’d never seemed gay to her. But did that mean that she was passing well? She’d have to break it to him that she couldn’t see him. She wasn’t ready to tell him about Little Jon and their relationship couldn’t exactly go anywhere.

Her final class of the day was American Government and the one course she had with Tucker. He sat one row over and slightly behind her, which was good because she couldn’t sit and stare at the back of his head for an hour. She had to admit, she’d noticed him. After he’d joined the GSA after Winter Break, he’d been more of a presence, but even on her first day at Clinton, when he’d been walking the hallways with his football buddies in his purple jersey, he’d caught her eye. And it was flattering that she’d evidently caught his too.

“Hey,” he stopped at her desk. “Margo told me talked to you.”

“Oh,” she looked up at him. “Uh, yeah.”

“If you don’t want to its fine. I know Margo can be kind of abrasive.”

“That’s one word for it. I would have gone with heinous bitch myself,” Taylor couldn’t even bite back the words before they slipped from her mouth. But Tucker gave a smirk.

“All right, she can be that too. Anyway, if you don’t want to have dinner with me tonight, I understand.”

“I’d like to,” she nodded. “I mean, if you want to.”

“Sure,” he nodded. “I’ll see you at seven then.”

“Seven,” she confirmed.

As Tucker started for his own desk, she mentally kicked herself. Why was she going for it when she knew it wouldn’t; couldn’t lead anywhere? Oh well, she decided. At least I’ll be able to say that I’ve been on a date.

After school, Taylor went directly home. She wasn’t sure how long she’d be out, so she decided it would probably be in her best interest to get her homework done first. She could hear her Mom watching television in the den, but she didn’t stop before mounting the stairs and disappearing into her bedroom. She settled at her desk to fill in a Spanish worksheet, and scribbled a couple of reflective paragraphs on the chapters she was supposed to read from a book for English (that she’d read the year before), and finally she started doing the menial research for a history paper that would be due the next week.

After a few hours of wasting time, she opened her closet. While what she was wearing was probably fine for dinner at Risottos, a little Italian themed restaurant that the high school crowd frequented, she wanted to look a little more female. She flipped through the hangers for a few moments before pulling out a gingham dress that always reminded her a little bit of Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. Paired with a solid blue jacket and black sneakers, it was cute, although a bit more “little girl” than she might have gone for ordinarily. But she wanted to put him off as much as possible. There was no way she could go out with him again after tonight.

“A dress?” Patricia was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. “You’re going out?”

“I’m having dinner with a friend, that’s all.”

“A date? Jon, you know how I feel about you dating while you’re…”

“I know how you feel about a lot of things,” Taylor put the strap of her purse over her shoulder. “But it’s just dinner with a friend from GSA.” That wasn’t a total lie...and it was better than trying to explain everything to someone with as closed a mind as her mother.

“Be home by ten.”

“We’ll see,” she gave a noncommittal shrug.

“Home by ten, young man,” Patricia crossed her arms. “A minute after and you’ll be grounded for the weekend.”

“Like I said, we’ll see,” she pocketed her keys and stepped out of the door without so much as another word. Most of the time, she found that talking as little as possible and just walking away was the best way to deal with her mother.

She drove the beat-up civic to the restaurant and parked in the corner. It was still a bit early, but she locked the doors and went into the restaurant. It was a seat-yourself place, and she took a booth that was in-line with the door, after making sure that he wasn’t already waiting for her. She fiddled with the menu that her waitress brought over and ordered a coke while she waited.

Nervously, she kept checking her phone for the time and started to worry. What if it was all some kind of joke between Margo and Tucker? What if they were at home, having a good laugh at her expense now? They probably got off on making other people miserable. After all, Tucker just said he was a reformed bully. Maybe Margo was bringing out the worst in him and now they’d decided it would be funny to make the new girl’s life miserable…

7:50 PM. It wasn’t like he was late. Besides, Taylor knew she had a chronically early streak in her. She couldn’t help it. It just ran through her. Fifteen-to-twenty minutes early for everything. School, doctors appointments, and now dates.

Oh god, Taylor thought, as the realization struck. Is this a date? Did a boy really ask me out? …Why am I freaking? It’s not like I’ve never been out on a date before. I mean, okay those guys all knew that I had boy parts and were pretty much openly gay themselves. But Tucker isn’t, as far as I know. Oh jeez, if I tell him is he going to freak out? When is the best time to tell someone you’re seeing that kind of thing? Maybe I should just leave now before he gets here…

“Have you been waiting long? I would have been here sooner, but my truck has been on the fritz lately.”

“Oh, hello,” she looked up at him. “Uh, no, I haven’t been waiting long at all.”

Augh! Too late to run! Too late to anything but try and have a nice time.

“Good,” he nodded. He looked up at the waitress who had returned to take his order. He gave her one of his best smiles, “Hi Marie. Can I get an iced tea?”

“Of course honey,” she patted him on the shoulder. “How’s your Mom?”

“Working the night shift for the next month, so I haven’t seen her to be honest.”

“Ah, well, leave her a note that I said hello and to give me a call some time.”

“Will do,” he nodded.

She ruffled his hair, “You guys still need a few minutes to decide?”

“Yes please,” Tucker nodded.

“All right, I’ll bring over your tea in a minute,” she departed and Tucker worked on smoothing his hair back into place.

“Do you come here often?” Taylor asked, stirring the ice in her glass with her straw.

He laughed, “Marie used to work with my Mom at the Nursing Home. Her son owns the restaurant and now she works here on the side.”

She nodded, “Ah, okay.”

“So, I’m sorry about Margo,” Tucker shook his head. “I totally understand if you don’t want to have dinner with me.”

“No, I do,” she shook her head. “I mean…we’re both here, and I’d rather not go home, you know?”

“Your Mom?” He asked, flipping open the menu.

“She’s just been extra obnoxious today,” she shrugged, then moved to change the subject. “I’ve never eaten here before. What’s good?”

“Really? You’ve lived here for almost a year and you’ve never eaten here?” Tucker looked surprised.

“I don’t go out much,” she shrugged.

He gave his head a sad shake, “We are going to have to do something about that, Taylor.”

“Shouldn’t you save that kind of declaration for the end of the date?”

Tucker flushed pink, “Oh…um, I just mean that, well…we have some mutual friends and you’re still new to town, so we should…” he touched his palm his forehead, “…show you around. Christ, I’ve been sitting here less than five minutes and I already made a complete idiot of myself.”

She laughed, “No, you’re fine, really. After dealing with all those snotty people all day, someone who is as genuinely nervous as I am is nice.”

Tucker gave Marie a smile as she placed his drink down.

“Are you guys ready to order?”

“I think I’ll have the house special with a salad on the side,” Taylor handed over her menu.

“I’ll have the Chicken Fried Steak, with mac and cheese, Marie. Thanks.”

“Of course –any appetizers?”

“You want to split an order of fried green beans?” Tucker asked.

“I’ve never had them,” she shrugged. “So, sure.”

“You won’t regret it,” Marie promised. “They’re a local favorite. Anything else?”

“No thanks, we should be good,” Tucker willed her to stop being nosy and walk away. She must have received the vibes because she tucked away her order pad and went back toward the kitchen.

“So,” he turned back to her, “you said you were nervous. Why?”

“Well to start, your kind-of-crazy girlfriend asked me if I wanted to go out on a date with you. That’s a little weird, if I do say so myself.”

He shook his head, “She’s just mad about something. –Not that I didn’t want to go out with you, but…you’ve met Margo. She’s not someone you just drop, you know?”

“Yeah, I can imagine that would be hazardous to your health,” she agreed. “But I’m still not really clear on how you convinced her that her asking me out for you was a good idea?”

“I didn’t! We were having a normal conversation and it came up that I…sort of have a crush on you,” he twisted this glass in the condensation ring on the table. “She said she’d take it upon herself to ask you out for me.”

“Is she nuts?”

He laughed, “Maybe just a little. We’re not the most orthodox couple at Clinton.”

“Clearly,” she nodded.

“It’s a relationship of mutual give-and-take,” he shrugged. “She gets to look like she isn’t a huge slut, and I get to buy a girl dinner once in awhile.”

“That’s important to you?”

“Well, if it wasn’t Margo, I’d probably be forced into eating with Conrad and Jack.”

“Jack’s not so bad, although Conrad does get to be a little overwhelming,” Taylor agreed. “That’s why I prefer them as a pair.”

“Cripes, it’s going to be awful if they ever break up then. We don’t have a buffer any more.”

“Well don’t jinx them,” Taylor shook her head.

“So, tell me about Cleveland,” Tucker moved to change the subject. “What was it like?”

They started talking, pausing only when Marie brought over the fried green beans (which were every bit as good as they were promised to be), and then when their main meal arrived, then later they ordered dessert. Before they knew it, they’d covered everything from favorite colors, books, movies, classes, and anything else that cropped up in between. The restaurant was starting to empty and the clock was dangerously close to ten o’clock.

“Oh jeez, I didn’t realize we’d been sitting here for so long,” Taylor looked at the time on her cell phone.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you out so late,” Tucker shook his head. “But, I had fun.”

“Me too.”

“So,” he pulled out his wallet to lay a couple of twenties on the table –enough for dinner and a generous tip for Marie, “Can we do this again?”

They stepped out of the booth and towards the door. They walked idly towards their vehicles while Taylor mulled over the idea. She bit her lip before replying, “Don’t take this the wrong way. I want to. I really like you, but…”

“There’s always a but,” he nodded. “What? I’m too much of a jock? You think I’m still a bully?”

“No, it’s not you at all,” she shook her head. “Its…I can’t go into it yet.”

“Is this about your Mom?”

“Sort of.”

“She isn’t abusing you or something, is she? Because there are programs for that. My Mom is a nurse, she helps people out with that kind of thing all the time. I can call her right now if you want,” his hand started for his pocket and his cell phone.

“No! Jeez! It’s me, it’s my problem.”

He frowned at her, “Okay, so…just friends then, I guess?”

“I’d like that,” she nodded.

“Maybe later we could revisit this whole dating thing?”

“Maybe,” she nodded hopefully.

Tucker started to walk away, hunching his shoulders into his purple letterman jacket. He was a few steps away from his truck when he turned and stalked back over to Taylor, who was taking her sweet time unlocking the door of the civic.

“Just one thing,” he stopped her from opening the door. “Do you like me?”

“Yes,” she nodded.

“And I like you, so…why can’t we just go on another date?”

“That would be two things, Tucker.”

He gave her a pushing stare.

“Okay, okay, I don’t know! I mean, you’re still Margo’s boyfriend, and I’m just the dorky new girl.”

“Forget about all of that,” he shook his head. “Can I just be honest with you for a minute?”

“Of course.”

“You’re the first girl I’ve ever liked. I mean really liked. I saw you and something just…I caught myself thinking ‘Wow, that’s the girl I’ve been waiting for’. I was so scared about what I might be…and then, you came along.”

“Gosh, Tucker, I really wish you hadn’t said that,” she started.

He cut her off, tilting her face up towards his, “No excuses, okay?” He leaned forward to kiss her softly. Taylor froze, shifting her hips away from his. He didn’t seem notice though. After a few moments she couldn’t stop herself from kissing back. His hair was soft and feathery under her fingers.

“Please?” Tucker’s voice was husky when the kiss broke. “Don’t worry about Margo, I’ll deal with her. But, say you’ll go out with me again?”

“I—okay,” she nodded. “But I really have to go now.” She reached for the handle of the car door. “Curfew.”

“See you around?”

“Sure,” she nodded. “Later.”

More confused than ever, she pealed out of the parking lot, leaving Tucker to shove his hands into his pocket and watch her drive away.

“Mom said you had a date last night,” Charles was helping her set out her muffins for the monthly PFLAG meeting. They held them in the conference room at the library. It was scarily similar to the GSA meetings. Charles, Conrad’s parents, Jack’s Dad, and even Tucker’s parents made an appearance, as well as several others that Taylor didn’t know as well. Before they had moved to Lake Elmwood, there hadn’t been a PFLAG chapter, but Charles, as part of his work, had set to creating one. He mostly worked as a councilor, but he also did presentations on tolerance and equal-opportunities for LGBT individuals. It was a cause near-and-dear to his heart, especially after his youngest brother, Mark, had killed himself fifteen years before, because he had felt so ashamed of his sexuality.

Now, he want to schools, businesses, regional PFLAG chapters, and other similar groups, to tell Mark’s story and explain how groups and individuals can work to end hate crimes against LGBTs.

Taylor had been attending meetings and talks for as long as she could remember. It wasn’t exactly a surprise when she finally told her parents that she was gay, two years before. And that had been fine. She’d dated boys, been active in her high school’s GSA, and the PFLAG chapter, but something still didn’t feel right. Then she had met Stella.

Stella was really named Chester Hayes, but after living as a woman for twenty years, it wasn’t really common knowledge except to those who asked or those she told. When listening to Stella talk about her transition, everything had just seemed to fall into place about what was still missing for Taylor.

“Being a woman isn’t about clothes or make-up or having a vagina,” Stella had said. “It’s an urge, right here in your chest,” she had emphatically thumped her breast-bone, “I liked to myself for so long, thinking that I could be happy, just the way that I was. It took me nearly thirty years to finally take those steps towards being who I really was. I talk to people all the time about what it takes to make this kind of decision –it’s not something you can do over night. For me, I was always worried about what my family would think, my friends. But, there’s a saying that I live by every day: those who matter don’t care and those who care don’t matter. I had to cut a lot of people I loved –still love, out of my life because they decided that I wasn’t good enough for them. I wasn’t the kind of person they wanted to be associating with. But that’s okay!” She given a huge smile, “Because my transition brought out a great new family. I’m married, I have two beautiful daughters, and I have lots of friends.”

Afterwards, Taylor had asked Stella for a private word and asked more questions, completely fascinated by the entire process.

“Don’t think you have to make any major decisions right away, Jon,” Stella had patted his cheek. “You’re young. You’ve got a life to live. Don’t let some old queen try to tell you how to live. This is what worked for me. Sexuality and appearance isn’t broken into definitions and subcategories. It’s a bunch of blurry little boxes that no one ever really fits in to.”

“But if it feels right?”

“Then go for it, but don’t take it too far if that’s not what you’re prepared for. Start little,” she explained. “Change your hair, start wearing make-up, buy a some dresses. Do it alone at home, then go outside –the mall, a movie. Do it for yourself.”

“Thanks Stella,” he had hugged her tightly. She’d smelled faintly of power and flowers. “You’re the best.”

“No problem, kid,” she ruffled his hair.

Taylor shook her head out of the past, focusing on her Dad, “It wasn’t a date. It was just dinner with a friend.”

“A boyfriend?”

“A boy who is a friend, yes,” she confirmed. “He isn’t gay.” She couldn’t help but frown a little she started to set out cups for juice. “Can I ask you something, Dad?”

“Of course, honey. I don’t know how much help I’ll be, but…” he shrugged. “I’ll try my best.”

“When do I know it’s the right time to tell people?”She gave a little nudge of her head toward her ‘area’. “I mean, I can’t just spring it on people. I…I’m scared. It’s what I want, you know that. Sometimes I think it would have just been so much easier to just…you know.” She sighed.

“You know that part of the process is opening up to people,” he put a hand on her shoulder. “But first, you have to comfortable with it yourself. You’re still adjusting. You’ll know when it’s right to tell someone. But, you should really think about opening up to your friends. The GSA kids would be a first step. Use the Communication Circle to help build a support group.”

“I just don’t want a rumor to start around school, you know?”

Charles nodded, “I understand, but eventually everyone will find out anyway.”

“That doesn’t make me any less afraid, Dad.”

“You know I’d protect you with my own life. I would never let anyone hurt you, and I know your friends feel the same way.” He pulled her into a tight hug for a second. “And I know part of the problem is your Mom getting on your case, but…you remember what Stella said.”

“Sometimes you have let people you care about go.”

“And, as much as I love your mother, I will be the first to admit that…she may be the first candidate for that decision.” Charles brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. “I just wish she could see you the same way that I do.”

“Thanks Dad,” she smiled. “I’ll go get the rest of the juice out of the fridge. People will be here soon.”

“Good idea,” he nodded. “Hurry back.”

The meeting went well, with a bigger turn-out than expected. As always, Taylor’s muffins went over well. She was just starting to pack things up when a throat cleared behind her.

“You busy?”

“Tucker,” she turned and immediately flushed red, the memory of the kiss from the night before flooding forward. “I didn’t see that you were here.”

“My parents coerced me along,” he shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Do you have a minute?”

“Sure, we can talk while I work,” she went back to laying the left-over muffins in a tray. “What’s up?”

“Not much,” he shrugged.

“How’d you like the meeting?”

“It was fine,” he nodded. “The muffins were good.”

“Thanks, I made them last night, so I was worried they would get dried out, but they stayed pretty fresh.”

“Oh jeez, you had to stay up and bake after I kept you out so late?”

She smiled, “Ironically enough, baking is the one mother-daughter thing my mother and I can do together without getting on each other’s nerves.” The fact that Patricia insisted on calling her Jon the entire time was moot.

“Good,” he nodded. “Stable, common ground is a good place to start when dealing with a troublesome person. Even if that person is your parent.”

“Your parents are great,” she looked up at him. “Although, I’m not sure your Dad is totally comfortable being here sometimes.”

“My Mom drags him along,” he shrugged. “After they found out that I was doing GSA stuff, they decided to be more active in the community. It’s some kind of shared-interest thing they’re trying to get into. You know, getting into the same things I’m into. Although, I was kind of coerced into GSA by Conrad, so…”

“Yeah, how did that whole thing work?” She looked up at him. “I hear stories, but I didn’t really know you before you started coming.”

He reached up, rubbing the back of his neck, “Oh, well…I don’t know. I was just picking on him a lot. Just being a real dick-head to him, you know? And, I took it a little too far one day. I shoved him into a locker, and he started to defend himself, and…well, stuff happened, and I got suspended for two weeks when I threatened him. During that two weeks, I had a lot of time to think. My parents were just pissed.”

“I’ll bet they were,” she nodded.

He nodded, “Totally. They told me that I had to clean up my act or they were sending me away, basically.”

“Like…boarding school?”

“More like my Aunt’s house in New Jersey,” he shrugged. “My aunt and Uncle are huge religious freaks and the only school in their entire town is a Catholic private school.”

“Ew,” she wrinkled her nose.

“Right? So, I apologized to Conrad, and he told me that he’d accept my apology if I made a bigger effort to right my wrongs. So, we started the Bully Dogs, the anti-bullying group, and he conned me into GSA duties.” He shrugged. “It’s not so bad. I like Bully Dogs, but GSA is a little too touchy-feely for me.”

“It’s a lot different from my old school’s GSA.”

“You’ve always been in GSA?”

She nodded, “Yep. I marched in my first Gay Pride Parade when I was three. There are pictures of my Dad dressed in drag with me on his shoulders. We marched with the Cleveland PFLAG chapter.”

“Your Dad is a crossdresser?”

She laughed, “No, of course not! It was just for Pride. He does it almost every year. He’s actually pretty good at it…wow, you know, I wouldn’t be surprised if my Dad was a cross dresser…” she pondered for a moment. “Either way, LGBT has always been a part of my life.”

“Because of your uncle, right?”

She nodded, “My Dad took it really hard when he killed himself. I was too little to really remember it, but it’s just something that was always there.”

He nodded. He knew what that felt like; to just know something.

“Besides, it gave me a chance to meet some really interesting people over the years, and…the courage to be myself,” she shrugged.

“Good,” he nodded.

“But I have a feeling you didn’t want to talk to me about any of that,” she smiled, putting the lid on top of the muffins. “What’s really eating you?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to go for a walk. Alone. With me.”

“Right now? I think my parents and I were going to go shopping this afternoon,” she declined. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, no problem,” he shook his head. “It was a long shot.”

“Why don’t you text me later?” she took the initiative step closer and reach into his pockets. He looked down, watching her fish around for his cell phone, but didn’t (or couldn’t) make any move to stop her. She finally found it, and withdrew it. “I’ll put my number in your contacts, and maybe after school on Monday we can go get a drink at Tealeaf?”

“Okay,” he nodded, watching her fiddle with his phone. “I’d like that.”

“Good,” she nodded. She stared back at him as she tucked the phone back into his pocket. “I’ll talk to you later then.”

“Okay,” he nodded again. She smirked, picking up the tray of muffins and the juice jug before disappearing from the conference room. He watched after, completely mesmerized and in awe.

Over the course of the rest of the weekend, the two texted back and forth. They watched a movie “together” on television, and discussed their history papers, but didn’t speak or see each other until Monday morning.

“Hey,” Tucker leaned against the locker neighboring hers. “Did Conrad tell you he called an emergency meeting about the Anti-Prom?”

“Yes,” she rolled her eyes. “I think it’s just a secret ploy to discuss the fight he and Jack got into over the weekend about the newest Who Wore It Better in People.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “I’ll see you after school then?”

“If not before,” she nodded. She started to add something, but then changed her mind closing her mouth again. Then she gave herself a stern mental shake before giving him a smile, “I better go, or I’ll be late for Spanish.”

“Okay,” he nodded. “I’ve got to go meet Margo.”

“You…why?”

He flushed red, “Ah…well, I mean, we’re friends, you know?”

“You’re still dating her, aren’t you?”

“We aren’t really dating persay…it’s hard to explain.”

“You’re cheating on her. I’m the other woman…I’ve never been the other woman before.”

“You’re not!” He insisted. “I’ll explain it later, I promise.” He put his hands on her shoulders. “I don’t…I don’t like her the same way I like you.”

“That sounds promising,” Taylor gave him her best skeptical look.

“I’ll explain it later,” he repeated. “See you history.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek before turning.

She watched him move down the hall before following in the same general direction towards her Spanish class. Senora Alvarez was just starting roll call as she slid into her usual seat next to Deena. She tried her best to focus on vocabulary, but Tucker kept popping into her head. His thick brown-black hair, his clear complexion and olive skin, not to mention those piercing blue eyes… She shifted uncomfortably in her chair. Spanish class was NOT the time to be thinking about the sexy way he’d brush his hair out of his face, or how when he was listening really intently, he’d tilt his head to the side and expose his neck, like he was just asking to get bit…or licked…or really anything that wasn’t appropriate for public display.

Nope, those thoughts were definitely NOT appropriate for Spanish class. She shifted uncomfortably again. Little Jon was curious and not at all cooperative. Finally, Taylor raised her hand.

“Senora Alveraz? Ah…Puedo ir al cuarto de baño?” She asked.

“Si,” her teacher nodded. She rattled off something else in Spanish that Taylor didn’t really understand, but she picked up the yardstick that acted as the Bathroom Pass for the classroom, and stepped out into the quiet hallway.

Once in the bathroom, she locked herself into the stall furthest from the door. She shifted out of her clothes, freeing herself. She sighed. Standing straight at attention…and waiting would take too long that meant there was only one choice.

It felt odd, doing that kind of thing in school…but she was sure she wasn’t the first. Well, okay, the first transgender maybe. She tried her best to shove the thought that Senora Alvarez was probably wondering if she’d fallen in or something, to the back of her head and concentrated on what she was trying to accomplish. Thoughts of Tucker filled her head –kind of dirty thoughts. She imagined what it might have been like if they’d been somewhere else when they had kissed the week before. In her bedroom maybe, with some music playing softly in the background… If she’d told him that she wasn’t really a girl, so when he started to explore underneath her shirt, he wasn’t surprised. His fingers would feel a little rough against her smooth skin, and his teeth would have nipped at her throat and collarbone.

…That was all it took. She bit her tongue to hold back the groan. She was pretty sure she was alone in the bathroom, but were you ever truly alone at a public school? She arranged herself back into place, flushed the toilet, and stepped out to wash her hands, smoothed her hair a bit, and prayed that no one would be able to tell what she had really gone to the bathroom to do.

When she got back to class, the period was nearly over. She listened to the end of Senora Alvarez’s lesson, scribbled down the notes for homework, marked the pages she needed to complete in the workbook, and then got up to go to Chemistry.

“You were gone a long time. Are you okay?” Deena asked as they walked in the general direction of their lockers to swap books.

“I’m fine, why?” Taylor asked, coming up a bit short from Deena’s locker.

“No reason,” Deena shrugged, starting to twist her combination into the padlock. “You just looked a little flushed when you came back. Did you run into someone in the hall or something?”

“No,” Taylor shook her head. “I think I’m coming down with a bug or something. I’ll be fine though.”

“All right,” Deena shrugged. “See you at lunch?”

“Uh huh,” Taylor nodded. “See you.”

Nothing more exciting happened until after school. She and Tucker reached the club room at the same time.

“Oh, hey,” he smiled. “Is anyone else here yet?”

She leaned up on exaggerated tiptoe to peer in the door window, “Just Conrad and Jack –oh, and Bailey, but she hardly counts.”

“Don’t get down on the Dance Club.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, “I feel like that was supposed to be some kind of pun that failed spectacularly.”

“Sort of,” he admitted. “

“Why don’t we just go in and see what this silly emergency meeting is all about?”

The first reaction upon entering the room was how extremely far apart Conrad and Jack seemed to be trying to stay away from each other. Conrad was at the front, prepping his podium. He always draped the front with a big rainbow flag. Jack wasn’t being his usual hindrance-rather-than-help, but was sitting in the back with his arms crossed, gazing off to the side of the room.

“Hey,” Taylor tapped him on the shoulder. “What’s up?”

“Hmm?” Jack looked up at her and gave her a slight smile. “Oh, nothing really. How was your weekend?”

“Fine,” she nodded, taking the seat next to him. “Are you and Conrad having a tiff?”

He gave her a slightly sulking look, “Yes.”

“All right then,” she nodded. “Is that the real reason we were all called in today?”

“No,” Jack shook his head. “Although Conrad will be doing a CC to talk about it –because he enjoys airing our problems in public,” his jaw twitched and there was a twinkle of annoyance in his eye.

“Is everyone here?” Conrad interrupted from the podium.”

“All you’re going to get on a Monday,” Taylor reminded him. “There’s baseball-softball practice, and soccer. Not to mention that band has a concert tonight, so everyone had a last-minute rehearsal in the auditorium.”

He frowned, “Ah, I guess I forgot.”

“Obviously,” Jack chimed.

Conrad scowled, a very unfamiliar look on his usually cheerful face, “I didn’t ask you.”

“Okay, okay, why don’t we just get to why we’re really here?” Taylor sighed. “If you want a sounding board, I’ll act as it, but it’s not fair to make everyone sit here while you snip at each other.”

“First, we need to agree on some stuff about the Anti-Prom. We’ve reserved the sub-gym for it, we need to decide what we’ll be hosting and cost of tickets.”

“Well, if we’re the anti-prom,” Bailey spoke up, adjusting her red sweatband, “Shouldn’t we do everything as opposite of the real prom as possible?”

“Sort of, but we should still have a small area set aside for dancing,” Tucker spoke up. “We can ask Thom if he can put together an iPod shuffle or playlist for us. The AV has couple of iPod speakers that would work great.”

“Yeah, and we could do video games on the other side of the gym. AV has some TVs, or we could ask our parents to bring in any extras we have. My Dad has an Atari, I’ve got an old N64.” Taylor offered.

“I could bring in my Xbox, and my sister’s PS-Two.”

“I’ve got Dance Dance Revolution and Wii,” Bailey said.

“And I can bring in equipment for Rock Band,” Jack spoke up, the spat momentarily forgotten.

“Excellent! I love it!” Conrad clapped. “We can start setting up on Friday at six.”

“What is our policy going to be regarding prom-ditchers who try to crash our party?” Bailey asked. “You know it’s going to happen.”

Conrad tapped his chin, thinking for a minute, “I think if they seem genuine in wanting to join us, then they’re welcome to join both –but they still have to pay to get in. How about we go half-price after 9 o’clock?”

There was a murmur of agreement.

“All right then, any other Anti-Prom business?” Conrad seemed to remember his real reason for calling the meeting.

“Did we confirm that Hogan’s is donating food and drinks?” Bailey asked.

“I am calling them today to confirm the delivery,” Conrad nodded.

They brought up a few other topics in a half-hearted attempt to keep the Communication Circle as far away as possible, but they finally ran out of topics. They didn’t bother to shift the desks around, but instead moved to the front of the room, standing in the open area between the desks and the podium.

“All right, if you guys don’t mind, I’d like to start today,” Conrad clasped his hands behind his back.

“Conrad, I really don’t think that this is the appropriate venue.” Jack crossed his arms over his chest.

“Yes, it is. These are our friends and they should be the first to know,” Conrad insisted.

“But this isn’t their problem,” Jack repeated.

“Jack and I broke up,” Conrad blurted before Jack could say any more. “We got into a fight about…something silly and neither of us seems to be dealing with it well.”

“What were you fighting about?” Taylor asked.

“Conrad, c’mon, this really isn’t---” Jack tried to cut in.

“You,” Conrad admitted. “Jack thinks he has a crush on you, but I know that he’s gay as the day is long and that there isn’t any way in hell he really likes you. No offence, Taylor. I adore you, you know that.”

“Um,” she looked down at the top of her sneakers. “Wow, Jack that’s really flattering, but…”

“I know,” he sighed. “We were just…you know, when you’re just lazing around you start sharing stuff…it’s just a crush!”

“Wait, can I share something?” Taylor looked up. “I mean, not to try and change the subject, but I think it’s really important, and…” she took a deep breath. “I’ve been waiting and waiting for the right time to say it, and I think that now is just kind of the right time. But you have to promise me that it doesn’t leave this room.”

“What happens in CC stays in CC.” The group chimed, with only Conrad sounding very excited about that notion –even Jack sounded bored.

“I know,” she nodded. “But promise me anyway.”

“We promise,” they chimed again.

Taylor shoved her hands into her pockets as they started to shake nervously, “Okay, you know I moved here from Cleveland last summer, but what you don’t know is that…when I moved, I asked my parents if I could make a pretty major change. It’s the real reason my Mom and I don’t get along lately.”

“Like…what?” Tucker felt a rush of anxiety.

“Shit,” Taylor anxiously pulled her fingers through the ends of her hair. “I should have told you before.”

“What?” Tucker pressed.

“Don’t yell at her,” Conrad warned. “The CC is a no-pressure zone.”

“It’s okay Conrad,” Taylor shook her head. “Tucker…I’m not a real girl.”

The room went to complete silence for almost a full thirty seconds before Tucker blinked.

“What?”

“My name is Jonathan Taylor Green. About a year ago, I met a transgender named Stella at a PFLAG meeting and when my parents told me that we were moving, I wanted to turn it into a chance to explore some feelings I had been having after listening to her and talking to her myself.”

“You’re a dude?” Tucker’s voice held more than a note of shock in it. “When were you going to tell me?!”

“I…I don’t know,” Taylor admitted. “I’m sorry.”

“I have to go,” Tucker shook his head.

“Tucker, wait, we can talk this out!” Conrad called.

“Let him go,” Taylor shook her head. “I should have told him when we went out on Friday.”

“You went out with him?” Jack repeated. “You’re dating and you didn’t tell him?”

“We’re not dating!” Taylor shook her head. “Margo asked me out for him, and…augh! I don’t want to talk about this any more.”

“Well, it’s out now,” Conrad crossed his arms. “Why did you wait so long to tell us? You know what this group is here for; we’re not going to judge you.”

“Does this mean you have a penis?” Bailey piped.

The group laughed; they couldn’t help it.

“No, I really mean it! Do you still have it, or have you had surgery?” Bailey continued.

“I’m only seventeen, I can’t even think about hormones or anything until I turn 18,” Taylor shook her head.

“So you can’t be mad at me any more for having a crush on her! Hah!” Jack pointed a finger at Conrad. “I’m just as gay as I always was!”

“I told you that you were!”

“So…are we good?”

Conrad shook his head, “I don’t know.”

“I don’t want to come between the two of you or anything,” Taylor shook her head. “Maybe this wasn’t the prime opportunity I was hoping for.”

“It was the perfect time,” Jack stepped forward to wrap his arms around her waist. “Thank you for being brave enough to share that with us, Taylor.”

It took an extra second, but Taylor finally hugged him back.

“I concur,” Conrad approached after Jack had stepped back. “Thanks for trusting us, Taylor.”

“Totally,” Bailey nodded. “You’re like twenty-percent cooler.” She hugged her too.

“Thanks guys,” Taylor shoved her hands back into her pockets after Bailey had backed off. “Um, I better go find Tucker though.”

“Ah,” Conrad nodded. “Maybe you should let him cool off?”

“Let me go,” Jack offered. “Please? I think I can talk him down, okay?”

It took her an extra second but she finally nodded, “Okay.”

“Let’s adjourn then,” Jack gave Conrad a pointed look. “We’ll see everyone again on Friday.”

“Bye,” Bailey waved.

“I’ll find Tucker,” Jack promised, squeezing Taylor’s shoulder. “You go home and I’ll text you later.”

“Thanks Jack,” Taylor smiled.

He gave her another reassuring smile before making his way out of the club room. He pulled out his phone and tapped through his contacts to Tucker’s number. It rang several times before the man finally answered.

“What do you want, Jack?”

“Just to talk. Where did you go?”

Tucker was quiet while he mulled over how to handle the situation. Jack could hear traffic in the background, but still couldn’t quite tell where he’d run off to.

“I’m in my truck in the parking lot.”

“Can I join you?”

“I don’t know why you want to, but I suppose you can if it floats your boat.”

“Parked in your usual spot?” Jack asked.

“Yep,” Tucker confirmed. “And, this should go without saying, but you had better be coming alone.”

“It’s just me, I promise.” Jack laughed. “I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

He tapped off his phone and shoved it back into his pocket. The hallways were quiet as he walked towards the front doors. The parking lot was nearly empty, and he could see Tucker’s truck parked at the edge of the lot, facing the currently empty football field. He broke into a light jog towards the truck and knocked lightly on the window before opening the door.

“Hey,” He tried his best reassuring smile. “You okay?”

“The first girl I’ve ever had a real crush on just told me that she’s a dude. …No, I’m not okay.” Tucker shook his head.

“I understand,” Jack hopped up into the cab. “But you know that Taylor is still that person you like. It’s not about what she does or doesn’t have on the outside, it’s about what makes her up on the inside.”

“Dude, knock it off with the pep talk okay?”

“I’m just trying to help,” Jack shifted in the seat to lean against the door and look at his friend straight-on. “What’s really bothering you?”

“You know what the problem is.”

“You’re gay.”

Tucker didn’t say anything but his fingers tightened on the steering wheel his jaw clenched as he looked out over the field.

“Tucker, the best part about being in GSA is that…we’re there for you. Taylor took a huge step today, telling us that she was transsexual.” Jack smoothed the hem of his jeans over the top of his socks. “Would it really be so bad to start admitting it to yourself at least?”

“Just because I like Taylor doesn’t mean I’m gay.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Jack shook his head. “But you know as much as I do that you’re not straight. Almost no one is completely straight.”

“We’ve gone over the Kinsey Scale, Jack.”

“But you’re not interested in girls, we both know that.”

“I could be!”

Jack’s expression turned sarcastically agreeable, “Yeah, you could be, but we all know you’re not. We already figured that was part of why you were such a bully, and why you were harassing Conrad.”

“I don’t like Conrad,” Tucker bit. “Trust me, I got over that real fast.”

“He’s not everyone’s cup of tea,” Jack agreed. “But you did kiss him, so you know what I’m talking about. You don’t have to make a huge declaration to the world, you know. Just…keep being yourself.”

“That’s easy for you say, Jack.”

“I’ve gone through this too,” Jack shrugged. “I’m just as much of a guy as you are, Tucker. I just happen to enjoy the company of other men. That doesn’t make me a bad person.”

“Of course not, I never said that it did.”

“Why are you so afraid of being gay?”

“I’m not afraid.”

Another sarcastic look.

“I’m not! I just…I just want to be myself, okay. Why does it matter who I like, or who I want to sleep with? It shouldn’t, but…every time my Mom brings up the future, growing old…she’s always talking about grandkids and my wife, and families.”

“Gay people have families too. Transgender people have families. We’re only in high school, every decision we make here isn’t going to lead us for the rest of our lives. And, you know…maybe Taylor is going to finish out this year and decide that being a transgender isn’t really as far as she wanted to go. Maybe she’ll live that way for a while and decide that it wasn’t really what was missing.”

“That doesn’t really help me though.”

“You like her, right?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then why does it matter what kind of a body she has underneath her clothes?”

“Are you really okay with having a crush on a tranny?”

Jack shrugged, “I knew I liked shemales before. Everyone likes boobs, don’t they?”

Tucker shook his head, “You’re weird.”

“I get that a lot,” Jack confirmed. “But we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you and whether you’re going to let flimsy things like sexuality and gender get in the way of maybe falling in love?”

“Jesus, Jack! We’re in high school! Who the hell is talking about love?”

“You know what I mean!” He insisted.

Tucker sighed. His hands fell into his lap and his head dropped. Energy seemed to be draining from him quickly. “Yeah, I do. And I know I shouldn’t let it bother me. I just…why didn’t she tell me sooner?”

“Maybe she was scared. You’re dealing with being gay,” Jack reached across, putting a hand on Tucker’s elbow. “She’s dealing with literally feeling like she was born in the wrong body.”

Tucker nodded, “You’re right, she’s got way more excuses than I do.”

“They aren’t excuses. Everyone gets afraid of being who they are some point. We’re always trying to fit in, making stuff up so people like us. But we’ve got it tougher, because we hide or hide behind what’s most important to us, and that’s the people love. No one gets to chose that, it just happens.”

“Thanks Jack.”

“You’re okay now?” Jack confirmed.

“Yeah, as okay as I will be, I guess.”

“You’re not going to do anything crazy?”

“No, I’m…I’m going to call Taylor and see if she still wants to go out with me.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Jack almost squealed, “I am so excited! You two will be adorable!” He lunged across the cab of the truck and threw his arms around Tucker’s shoulders.

“Whoa, okay…calm down. Shouldn’t be working on getting your boyfriend back?”

“Bah, Conrad and I always work it out,” Jack shook his head. “But you go get your girl…guy…whatever!”

“Thanks,” He nodded. “Uh…do you mind getting out of my truck?”

“Oh, right! Glad I could help, Tucker. I’ll see you later.”

“Later,” Tucker nodded. He waited until Jack was clear of the truck before turning the ignition over and making his way towards home.

Taylor was locked away in her room when her cell phone chimed that she had a text message.

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Tucker of course. She hesitated for a minute before checking that her door was closed and secure before sitting down on her bed to reply.

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Reply was almost instantaneous.

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Taylor sat up, looking around her room. Was what she was wearing okay? She looked down. Jeans and a t-shirt. Not very girly, but passable. She picked up her small purse, checking for some cash and tucked her phone inside.

“Where are you going in such a rush?” Patricia caught her as she was bounding down the stairs.

“Meeting a friend.”

“A friend?”

“Yes,” she nodded “I won’t be out long.”

“And you’re going out like that?”

“Yes, Mother,” she sighed, grabbing a light jacket from the closet under the stairs. “This is what teenagers wear.”

Her frown deepened, “Jonathan, would it really kill you not to kill me?”

“It just might,” she nodded. She pulled on the jacket and stepped out of the door, just as Tucker pulled his truck up to the curb.

“Is that your Mom, glaring at my truck from the window?” He asked, offering her a hand as she went to step up into the truck.

“Yes, she is as usual not happy with me,” Taylor shrugged. She smoothed out her shirt before pulling her seatbelt back into place.

“So…” Tucker pulled away from the curb. “You want to talk about this afternoon?”

“I’m sure you have questions,” she shrugged. “I’ll answer them.”

“Did you always think you were a girl?”

“No,” she shook her head. “It sounds really cliché, but I always knew that something about me wasn’t the same as other people. I grew up in the queer community, so when I started to piece myself together, I just thought I was gay. And that part felt right to me, I knew I was attracted to other boys. But then last year, I met Stella. She did a talk at a meeting that my Dad hosted. When she was talking about what it was like growing up, feeling like she was suffocating in her own body, I related to that.”

“But?”

“I was happy was a boy,” Taylor shrugged. “But something was always missing. After I met Stella, I talked to her a little bit about some of the stuff that was going on in my head and she made a lot of sense. I took it slow at first. I bought a few things and hid them in my room. I’d practice make-up really late at night when my parents were asleep. I searched the net for everything I could find on transgender people. I read stories, I talked to people on message boards. When I’m like this, when I pass well, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life.”

“Really?” He asked.

She nodded, “I could go back to being a boy and just being gay. I’d be fine, but why should I be just fine, when I do this and my life is practically perfect?”

“I feel like there should be a huge but in the middle of that.”

Taylor’s lips twitched in a forced smile, “I’m still afraid. When I’m alone and just being myself, it’s okay. But my Mom doesn’t approve. My Dad wants me to do whatever I need to do and supports the whole transitional thing. Mom…she wants her son back. It makes me nervous to tell the rest of my family. I’m scared to tell people. The three of you were the first people I voluntarily told.”

“Who else knows?”

“We had to tell Principal Keene, and I have weekly sessions with Miss Wilson, the guidance councilor.” She shrugged. “I already had gym credits for graduation, thanks to my school in Cleveland, so I don’t have to worry about that. And I don’t play sports anymore, so they decided that I didn’t have to be ‘out’ about it unless I wanted to.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before? I mean, you could mentioned it on our date.”

“I didn’t want to scare you away,” she admitted. “I know it’s not…normal, and transgender tends to be one of the most misunderstood characters in the genre,” she rolled her eyes. “It’s different for everyone who experiences it.”

He nodded.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I know I should have, especially after you kissed me and you told me that I was the first girl you ever really liked. I… I feel awful about leading you on.”

“No, don’t,” he shook his head. He reached over to put his hand on top of hers on the middle of the bench seat. “I haven’t been completely honest with you either.”

“You’re a girl?” She guessed.

He laughed, “No. I…I’m gay. I mean, I don’t know. I’ve never really been interested in girls. I like being around guys, playing sports, hunting, fixing cars, power tools. But it’s different; I never noticed girls that much until all the other guys started making a big deal about them. At first I thought I was just a late bloomer, but then we hit high school.” He furrowed his brow while he thought. “I tried to change. Force myself to be normal, but everything kept coming back. I started to take my frustration out on other people, especially Conrad. I had a crush on him. A very ill advised crush, that I totally don’t have any more, I swear.” His eyes darted toward her for a second before resuming straight forward on the road. She was listening patiently, a nonjudgmental look on her face.

“So,” he continued, “when you came…I don’t know what happened. I saw you and…I knew I wanted to get to know you better. I thought, oh my god, here she is. The cure.”

“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I mean, I’m not, but…you shouldn’t be afraid to be gay.”

“You haven’t lived in this town very long. It’s small, which makes it small-minded. Conrad and Jack are the first couple I’ve ever met. There have been rumors about other people, who’ve moved away and come out, but no one that does stays here.”

“Well, that’s what our generation should be about,” Taylor shrugged. “A movement of tolerance, forgiveness, and acceptance, among other things.”

“It’s pretty to say, harder to live by.” He stole another glance at her before turning into the mall parking lot.

After he had parked, he shifted in his seat at face her, “But, if you’re transgender and I like you, does that really make me gay?”

“You want really badly not to be, don’t you?”

“It isn’t that,” he shook his head. “When I leave Lake Elmwood and go to college or whatever, maybe it’ll be different. Right now, I’d just like to fit in.”

“Tucker, you don’t have to fit into a category. I mean, I’m not totally gay, but I’m not straight. I still know when a girl is attractive, but I don’t necessarily want to sleep with one.”

“People always say that sexuality isn’t set in stone, but people are still broken down into categories, everyone needs a tag.”

“People don’t need tags,” Taylor stated. “If someone else wants to label me because it helps them get through the day, that’s fine, but I don’t need to accept it, or use it to describe myself.”

“And how do you describe yourself? I mean, if you had to.”

Taylor thought for a second, leaning back against the seat. She started to pull her fingers through the tips of her hair before she finally smiled and turned to face him, “Shemale.”

“Really?” He asked. “That’s the word you’re picking?”

“Contrary to a lot of the transgender community, I am actually fairly fond of my penis and I have no intention of ever getting rid of it,” she blinked at him. “And let’s face it, ladyboy makes me think of Asian trannies –oh, tranny is another good word.”

Tucker let a chuckle pass his lips, “You’re really okay with all of this, aren’t you?”

“Well, I have been living as a girl for almost a year now.”

“Tell you what,” he pulled the keys from the ignition and shoved them into his pocket before shifting, “Why don’t we just…go official? We don’t need tags, we’re just us. We like each other, we get along really well. It doesn’t matter what kind of genitalia we have.”

“Deal,” she nodded. “—Although, not until after you break up with Margo.”

“Oh, right…Margo. Here’s the thing with Margo…” Tucker made the movement to nervously rub the back of his neck. “We’re kind each other’s cover. We don’t really like each other that much, but she found out that I like guys, and she’s got a thing for Cassie Becker.”

“Isn’t Cassie dating Kacey?”

“Exactly. She’s straight. Or…well, I don’t know. Girls are weird, no offense.” Tucker shook his head. “But anyway, she’s not really my girlfriend. We just make public appearances together, and walk down the hall. Regular couples stuff, but we’re not actually interested in one another. It’s all a ruse.”

“But if we’re going out, isn’t it going to look weird to people who think you’re still dating Margo?”

Tucker shrugged, “I don’t know. I’ll talk to her.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. I’ll call her tonight.”

“Okay…let’s go get something to drink,” Taylor started to reach for her door handle.

“Wait, just a second,” he stopped her, put a hand on her elbow. She turned back, looking expectantly at him.

“What?” Taylor asked after he’d stared at her for a few beats longer than was actually comfortable. “Do you want to go somewhere else?”

“No, it’s not that,” he shook his head. “It’s just that, well, can I do something quick, before we go in?”

“Sure.”

He moved across the short space between them, and turned her face just slightly. She started to part her lips in a queried protest, but his lips against hers silenced them quietly. It was brief, but he got his point across.

“Tucker, kissing doesn’t have to be done quickly,” Taylor assured him, “Time can always be found or made for kissing.”

“Okay, okay, sorry. I was nervous.”

“Why don’t you try it again then?”

“My pleasure,” he agreed amiably. The truck creaked and groaned a little as they shifted closer. The surroundings disappeared and the two turned their focus solely on each other. Tucker smelled of some kind of aftershave or cologne, while he thought that she smelled like the cocoa butter lotion that his Mom was always using. The familiar scent was oddly arousing when he mixed it with the knowledge of who and what Taylor was. He was just starting to memorize the way her hair felt under his splayed fingers as he pressed closer when they both jumped. The truck had begun to rock back and forth, and Tucker spun to look at the offenders.

“Shit, sorry,” He backed off quickly. “Football buddies.”

“Obviously,” Taylor nodded.

Tucker slapped open the back port window, “Hey, knock it off before you give us whiplash or something!”

The group of four boys that had circled the truck bed laughed. One of them, the smallest of the bunch, hopped up in to the back and crouched at the window.

“Hey sweetie,” he smiled coyly at Taylor. “How about a kiss for the rest of us?”

“Sorry, outside of the privacy of my bedroom, I try not to let assholes that close to my face.”

To her surprise, he quipped back, “Well, maybe I should drive you home? Most girls around here don’t get that kinky.”

“C’mon!” Tucker broke between them. “Stop flirting with my girlfriend.”

A chorus of “ooooh!” followed the statement.

“Really?” the boy asked. “My apologies, Miss. If I’d known you were honestly spoken for by our find, upstanding young friend here, I’d have never quipped back about your butt joke.”

“Go away, Carter,” Tucker growled; literally growled, with his teeth clenched and everything.

“Love you too, Cuz.”

“He’s your cousin?” Taylor asked.

“Unfortunately,” Tucker admitted. “quite begrudgingly.

“So, you two on your way in or your way out?” Carter asked, shifting onto one knee, to more comfortably rest at the window. The others, sensing they might be hanging out for awhile, leaned against the truck, or hopped up to sit in the back of the open tailgate.

“That depends on which direction you’re going,” Taylor retorted.

“She’s feisty, I think I like her.” Carter winked at her.

“You are probably the most disgusting person I’ve ever met,” she informed him. “Tucker, I think I’m going in for my Orange Julius. Can I get you anything?”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” he promised. “I’ll find you.”

“Okay,” she leaned over and pressed her lips to his cheek, for just a moment before slipping out of the truck. She walked as ladylike as possible towards the mall, taking the long away around the vehicle so she wouldn’t have to go near to any of the other boys.

“What do you want?” Tucker asked, once she had disappeared from view.

“Just stopping to say hello!” Carter looked unabashed and feigned hurt feelings. “Can’t a cousin just stop and greet his other loving cousin?”

“We stopped being on friendly terms when the football season ended,” Tucker reminded him. “We can’t stand each other, remember.”

“Really? I’ve always liked you, Tucker,” Carter sighed, shaking his head sadly.

“I don’t hang out with homophobic pricks anymore.”

“Oh right,” Carter nodded. “I forgot, you’ve turned gay with Connie and Jacqueline.”

“I didn’t turn gay with anyone,” Tucker wrinkled his nose. “You’re so fucking ignorant it hurts. Seriously, leave before I start bleeding from my ears or something.”

“Does your new girlfriend know you’re bumping uglies with other dudes now?”

“Yeah, she really digs that kind of thing actually,” Tucker jibbed.

Carter gave him one of those obnoxiously smart-ass grins. “Catch you later, Cuz. We’ve got other places to be.” He reached through the window to ruffle Tucker’s hair. He gave his head one last harder-than-really-necessary shove before withdrawing. He got up, stretching his legs a bit as he addressed his friends. “C’mon guys; let’s leave him to his girlfriend.”

The rest wandered away after Carter towards their mode of transportation. Tucker waited until he saw them duck into a dilapidated minivan that was the hand-me-down to one of the guys and they started to pull out of the lot before he slid out of the truck to go join Taylor in the mall.

“Sorry about them,” he offered as he approached her. She was waiting a bit off to the side from Orange Julius, waiting with her arms loosely crossed over her stomach.

“It’s okay,” she gave him a small smile. “It’s not your fault your cousin is a jerk.”

“Yeah…we used to get along really well, but he was kind of fueling my rage as a bully, so I had to cut him off, you know?” Tucker shrugged. “He didn’t really get it. Still doesn’t, so he likes to jibe me once in awhile.”

She gave a nod of understanding, “I ordered a smoothie, but would you like food? I could go for a huge burger.”

He grinned, “You know, I think I’m going to like dating you… Margo makes me take her restaurants and then never eats anything; just pushes salad around on a plate.”

“Oh, I love to eat,” Taylor assured him, “and I will eat just about anything. Except sushi. Nori makes me gag.”

“Then maybe you’re not eating the right kind of sushi,” Tucker suggested. “I’ll have to take you Panda Pagoda in Orion. They’re amazing.”

“Blegh, no thanks!” She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. She glanced down at her receipt to check her number as a member of the OJ staff called out a number and plunked a cup down on the counter. “Oh, that’s mine. Just a second.”

She left him alone for a moment to collect her cup before going back to him again, “—Although, now that you mention it, Chinese sounds really good to. WokTok is supposed to be pretty good.”

“On me then,” he took the leap to link fingers with her as they turned to make their way through the food court towards the Chinese restaurant. It took Taylor a few extra moments, but she finally tightened her fingers between his and walked comfortably along side of him, sipping from her straw as they approached the restaurant.

A few minutes later, they selected a table in the back of the food court, near the windows that over looked the parking lot and city horizon. It was pretty, in the way that industry is unique and ever changing.

“I don’t even know where to start,” Taylor looked at her pile of lo mein, orange chicken, and rice. “This is like huge.”

“Oh yeah, they really pile it on here. It’s almost better than an all-you-can-eat buffet,” Tucker nodded, digging into his rice after tearing open a couple packets of soy sauce and dribbling it over the contents of his plate. “It’s really good.”

Taylor peeled her fork out of the plastic wrapper and twisted the tines into the lo mein first.

Delicious.

“Ohmigosh, this is just what I wanted.” She gave a pleasurable little moan of delight. Tucker stopped, his fork half-way to his mouth.

“Okay, you can’t make that noise again.”

“What noise?”

“That little sex noise you just make?”

“What sex noise?” She blushed.

“That moan sound. If food does that for you…oh man.” He shook his head, “We’re in public, and you may well know that hard-ons in public are super embarrassing.”

“I’m pretty good at controlling that by now,” she assured him.

“I wasn’t talking about you –I was talking about me, if you make that noise again.”

She blushed a brighter shade of red and ducked her head so her face was curtained by her long hair. “You’re the embarrassing one!”

He gave a little laugh, “I couldn’t help myself.”

She started eating, savoring the flavor, but keeping her little sounds of delight in check. They chatted a bit over dinner; safe topics like school, movies, and food. When they’d both cleared their plates, they leaned back and looked across the table at one another.

“So,” Tucker finally ventured. “How far would you have let me get if my idiot cousin hadn’t interrupted us?”

Taylor smiled, her eyes crinkling slightly, “Oh, come on Tucker. We’re public. Besides, this is only our second date. Nice girls don’t fool around until the third. At least.”

“Damn,” he sighed.

“Sorry to burst your bubble,” she shrugged.

“That’s all right.” He pulled out his cell phone to look at the time. “Crap, I need to get home to finish my history paper.”

“Oh, right. I almost forgot about that.”

“C’mon, I’ll drive you home.”

Taylor slurped down the last of her Orange Julius as they picked up their trays to dump them into the nearby trashcan. She paused for an extra moment to make sure she had emptied the cup of everything before tossing it inside as well. This time, she took the chance to slip her hand into his as they walked back to the entrance where they had come in. They were quiet for the most part as they walked to the truck. He escorted her to the passenger side, giving her a hand up into the cab after unlocking the doors. Then he made a slow jog around the cab to the driver’s side. He cranked over the ignition and made his way through the streets of Lake Elmwood towards Taylor’s house.

When he finally parked at the curb, Taylor took her time unclipping her seatbelt, a little unwilling to finally part ways. It had been an odd day; full of a mixture of anxiety, hope, and regret. Luckily, it appeared to have all worked itself out. Tucker leaned on the steering wheel and gave her a look as her hand went for the latch.

“I had fun today, I mean…aside from the drama.”

“I did too,” she nodded. “And, again…I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you on Friday.”

“That’s okay, I understand why,” he shrugged. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow?”

“Of course,” she nodded. She leaned forward to give him a short kiss. “Good luck with your paper.”

“Thanks, I’ll need it.”

She started to shift to open the door before turning back, “Okay, I need one more.” She put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him again –a little harder than before. He couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across his face. He balanced a hand on the back of the seat. Their lips parted just enough for their tongues to momentarily touch, sending little sparks of warmth down their necks, and straight down south.

Taylor shivered, “All right, I’ve gotta go.”

“See you,” he gave her a slight nod. He let his free hand trail down her thigh as she pulled away.

She waved, hoping down onto the curb. She walked quickly across the yard, turning back for just a second as she reached into her purse for her house keys. He seemed to find that good enough, and he waved before pulling away from the curb. She turned back to her purse and finally fished they keys from the bottom the bag, just as the front door opened.

“Who was that?” Patricia demanded, putting a hand on her child’s shoulder and tugging Taylor into the front hall.

“Tucker, a friend from school; why do you ask?” Annoyed, she put them back in her purse.

“A friend? You make out with friends in their pick-ups now? It’s not bad enough you’re deluded into thinking that you’re a girl, but you’re a slut at that?”

Taylor frowned, “We’ve gone out a few times. How it is any different than when I was dating Kevin or Marten?”

“For starters, they knew you were a boy.”

“Tucker knows too.”

“You’re telling people you’re crazy now?” Patricia didn’t hold back the disbelief.

“I told some people from GSA, that’s all. It was relevant information.”

Patricia shook her head, “I don’t think I like where this is going. It’s one thing keeping it to yourself, but you’re just going to end up hurting that boy.”

“He’s fine with it. Actually, everyone I told today was fine with it,” Taylor hung her purse from the coat rack, and tossed her jacket over top of it before turning back to her mother. “You are the only person who seems to be taking this personally, Mother.”

“Well,” she scoffed, “excuse me for thinking that boys should be boys.”

“I’m not discussing this subject with you anymore,” Taylor decided. “It’s fine that you don’t like it; there’s nothing I can do to change your mind. However, that doesn’t mean that I have to take your hate talk. Maybe you should come to PFLAG more often. You need to open your mind a little more.” She turned to stalk up the stairs, making sure to add a little extra thump to every step as she mounted them, then closed her bedroom door to make a nice, loud snap.

At home, Tucker shifted in front of his computer screen. He had Skype open and his finger was poised over the mouse button, positioned over Margo’s screen name. He had to tell her what was going on. Or at least, kind of. But the thought kind of terrified him. She wasn’t exactly the nicest person to deal with, but the sooner he got her off his back, the better for him and Taylor. Finally he sucked in a deep breath and clicked.

And he waited.

A few minutes later, she accepted the request and she popped into view. She had her hair pulled back from her face and appeared to be slightly scantily clad.

“What do you want? I’m busy over here.” She snapped.

“I just wanted to tell you that…Taylor and I have really hit it off.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes, and we’re a couple.”

“B.S.,” she rolled her eyes.

“No, really,” Tucker insisted. “I can’t keep doing this ruse for you, Margo. I really, really like her.”

Margo tilted her head to the side, “No way. You can’t do this to me. We had a deal.”

“Yeah, we did. If Taylor and I clicked, you’d back off. And we did, so you have to.”

“I want proof.”

“Proof? Ask Carter, he caught us making out in my truck at the mall. Steve, Martin, and Joe were all there too.”

She stared at him and he thought, for a split second, that maybe his computer had lagged, but then she moved, tilting the screen and looking directly into the camera, “You listen to me, North. You will continue to pretend to be my boyfriend for the duration of the school year. If you fail to provide this service, I will tell everyone about you, including your brand new girlfriend.”

“You don’t scare me, Margo,” he lied. “And besides, she already knows.”

“Bull. Shit.”

“She does, I told her today about…stuff.”

“And she’s okay with that?”

“She’s got her baggage too.”

Her eyes narrowed, “Like what?”

“That’s not my place to tell you,” he shrugged.

“I will find out, North. And when I do, I’ll use that information to get what I want. However, I can be bribed to keep silent. I’m fairly certain whatever it is that Lilac is hiding, I’ll find it.”

“Why do you have to be such a conniving bitch all the time?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“I just know how to get what I want,” she leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. “And what I want is for you to uphold our original deal.”

“Why are you hiding,” he lowered his voice. “Margo, you shouldn’t be ashamed of what you are.”

“Excuse me?”

“So you’re a dyke. Big fucking deal. Go out and be a lesbian! It’s not going to kill anyone! I’m sure a lot of people have already figured it out anyway!”

“I’m not talking to you anymore. I expect you have roses, tomorrow morning, eight A.M. at my locker as a public apology for this spat.”

“No,” he shook his head. Whether she heard it or not, he wasn’t sure, because the connection ended and the screen went grey. He sighed, biting his tongue as he exited the program. How he’d wound up being stuck dealing with such a bitch, he would never really be sure of.

“Where are my flowers?” Margo didn’t even bother looking away from the mirror that hung in her locker as Tucker stopped behind her.

“I don’t have flowers for you because I’m not your boyfriend,” he clenched his fingers into fists in the pockets of his letterman jacket.

“Tucker,” she sighed, slowly closing the locker with a soft clink and turning to face him. Her hair splayed across her shoulder as she titled her head. “Really, you want to do this here?”

“You can’t close me out when I tell you in person that we’re not a couple. Real, fake, or otherwise.”

She shook her head in faux sadness, “How did we ever come to this, Tucker?”

“Um, you’re a manipulative bitch who thinks she can press people under her little finger and they’ll do everything she wants them to.”

“And you’re the first little pipsqueak to really make an effort to try and escape,” she patted his cheek softly. “Have your fun, North. But we’re not done. You’ll still be escorting me to prom. Then we’ll re-evaluate our options.”

“I’m not taking you to prom; I’m not even going to Prom. GSA is doing the anti-prom.”

She smiled, which should have made her seem softer and more feminine, but really just made her look slightly deranged, “You can go to your silly little Anti-Prom, after we’ve had an appearance at Prom, taken pictures, drunk some punch, and danced to our song.”

“Our song?”

“Yes, our song. You’ll pick me up at seven-thirty, and not in your rat-trap of a pick-up truck. Reservations are at Zinfandel for eight, so please don’t be late picking me up. Finally, you will have a blue orchid corsage, which has already been ordered at Judy’s Floral.”

“ No.”

Her face went blank, “Yes. You will.”

“Or what? I’m not afraid of you, Margo,” he shook his head. “You don’t have anything on me. You tell everything what you think you know, and you’re going to look like a complete loon. I’m not exactly God’s gift to women, okay. You’re not losing anything. There are tons of other guys that will take you to prom, if that’s what you want, Margo.”

Her lips quaked as she fought for something to say. Finally she stamped her foot, kicked him swiftly and sharply in the knee, and strode away without saying so much as an expletive…though Tucker let out a string of them himself as he rubbed his leg.

“Are you okay?” Taylor appeared next to him.

“I’m fine…shit, who knew she’d be such a gigantic bitch about this. Christ, you’d think she was really heartbroken about this or something.”

“Maybe you should take her to prom.”

“You were listening?”

“Kind of hard not to,” she admitted.

“I’m not taking her prom.”

“C’mon, what harm would it do?”

“Have you met Margo?!”

Taylor nodded, linking arms with him and making him move with her down the hallway. “Look, it’s not going to hurt anything to go make an appearance at prom with Margo, and then come to the Anti-Prom with me.” She turned abruptly as they paused just outside of her classroom. “If you want, I’ll tell her the terms.”

“No, no…this is stupid,” he shook his head. “I’m not going to prom with Margo, end of story.”

“All right, whatever makes you happy,” she leaned up to press quick kiss to his cheek. “I’ve gotta go; I’ll see you later.”

“Bye,” he chimed.

“You two look cozy.”

“Jesus, Conrad. Am I going to get bombarded with a new conversation every time I get away from a person?” Tucker sighed.

“Maybe,” he shrugged. “So the two of you are together now?”

“Conrad, I’m sure Jack already filled you in our drama, so really, let’s just forget about all of this.”

Conrad tilted his head to the side, “Jack and I aren’t speaking. You know that.”

“You mean you didn’t make up yesterday?”

“No, we did not. Jack and I are no longer a couple, but hopefully in time we will be able to regain our friendship.”

Tucker stopped short, and Conrad had to turn back around.

“What stupid thing are you two fighting about now?”

“Let me put it this way,” Conrad stepped a bit closer, tapping a finger to Tucker’s chest. “Keep an eye on Taylor, because you’ve got yourself some competition.”

“Doubtful,” Tucker crossed his arms. “Jack is the one that told me to go for her.”

“Jack can be more devious than you give him credit for. It’s a trait I used to find slightly erotic. Now it’s just really annoying.” Conrad then reached up to smooth the collar of Tucker’s jacket. “Just, watch out, okay?”

Tucker watched Conrad stride confidently down the hallway, a slight sway in his backside. He shook his head, pulling his eyes away and ducking into his Algebra class.

“Jack has a crush on you,” the budding romancers were laying in the back of Tucker’s truck in a secluded little area that overlooked the namesake Lake Elmwood. It was a nice cool spring day, with a slight breeze. They were using their jackets as pillows and just enjoying being alone for a bit before they had to return to reality. A few days had passed in which not too much had happened. Margo had finally conceded to going to prom with some other eligible bachelor, and The Conrad/Jack situation was still at large, obviously.

“I know, he told us on Monday, remember.”

“But, he really has a crush on you. He and Conrad are like officially broken up over it now.”

“Oh, well, poor luck for Jack then, ‘cause I’m taken,” she squeezed his fingers.

“Really?”

“I’m trying to keep a low profile. Dating Jack, among other things, would just bring attention to something being weird. He’s an openly gay guy. Why would he start dating a girl?”

“But, if you were out and everyone knew you were a trans…would you date him then?”

“All other things remaining constant?”

“Sure.”

She thought for a second, “I like Jack; I mean, I think he’s cute, but…no, you caught my eye first. Besides, he was dating Conrad. Going from a guy like that to someone like me is just totally weird.”

“Have I told you yet how amazing you are?” He asked, shifting on his side and leaning on his palm. “I’d leave me in a heartbeat for a guy like Jack.”

“Should be more worried about your crush on Jack?” She asked.

“No, he doesn’t like me that way,” he shrugged. “I’d be flattered if he did of course, but he goes for the pretty type.”

“Oh, thanks,” she rolled her eyes.

He smiled, and shifted closer to her, “You want to go to the prom with me, as my official date?”

“The prom-prom or the Anti-Prom?”

“Prom. We can make an appearance at the A-P, but…I want people to see us together. And let’s face it, only the weird kids are going to the Anti-Prom.”

“Honey, we are the weird kids,” she reminded him.

“Okay, fine…whichever you want to go. I just want to spend a night, with you, as a normal couple, doing normal things.”

“All right,” she nodded. “I’d rather go to the anti-prom. I may be a tranny, but I don’t get dressed in pink taffeta.”

“I might like to see that. You’d look cute in a big poofy cupcake dress.”

“A cupcake dress?”

“Yeah. A big fluffy skirt, and poofy sleeves. You’d look good enough to eat,” he gave a hungry little rumble as he leaned over her to press his mouth against hers. He teased her, letting his attention drift to her jaw, then her neck. Her skin was supple and smooth as he bit and licked. She laughed, pushing on his shoulders.

“Gross, come on!” She shoved half-heartedly. “I’ll wear something cute, but not puffy. I don’t have time to find something like that on short notice anyway.”

“All right,” he conceded, leaning back again as though nothing had happened. “I’ll settle for that, I guess.”

She shifted her hip to pull her cell phone out of her pocket. The phone had begun to vibrate and chime, and she looked at the screen. “Crap, it’s time to go.”

“Aw, c’mon, five more minutes.” He requested.

“No, it’s already six, and I have a ton of homework,” she sighed. “Especially if we’re going to A-P; I have to find a dress and everything. –Way to ask a girl early, by the way.” She flicked him in the chest.

“Ah, you already knew were going.”

“Well, in my defense, I was going whether you did or not. I am in charge of clean-up crew.”

“Gross,” he wrinkled his nose. “How’d you get stuck with that job?”

“I don’t mind,” she shrugged. “Besides, you, Jack, and Bailey are helping me.” She grinned widely at him. “I took the liberty of volunteering you, now that you’re my boyfriend and all.”

“Ugh, if I have to do clean-up crew, you best be prepared to dish out some pretty awesome make-outs for that.”

“Don’t I always perform well?”

“Well, I’m not sure, why don’t you refresh my memory?”

“Pig,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Boys, why do I bother?” Then she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him back down over her to fulfill his request.

“I think it’s stupid, letting him go to a prom like that,” Patricia and Charles were leaning in the doorway of Taylor’s bathroom, watching her put the finishing touches on.

“She looks gorgeous,” Charles argued. “You really need to open up, Patty.”

“Don’t you dare start arguing in front of me right now,” Taylor cut in. “If you want to fight about how Dad is letting me ruin my life, and how Mom is a close-minded homophobe, then wait until I leave. I swear, how I ended up with two completely polar opposite parents, I will never know.” She snapped the case that held her favorite eye shadow shades closed before tucking it into the drawer under the sink. She turned her attention back to the mirror to apply a thin coat of strawberry lip gloss that afterwards was tucked into her clutch purse for repeat application later.

Her parents looked at one another, as if looking for the answer to that question as well. It wasn’t that Patricia and Charles weren’t in love; they were –or as in love as a couple who has been married for eighteen years can be. When they’d first gotten married, they’d seen eye to eye on everything. And then Mark had died, and in Patricia’s eyes, her husband had completely changed. He was a crusader for a lost cause. She had nothing against gay people; they had excellent fashion sense and a delightful way of talking. She hadn’t even been all that shocked when Jon had told them that he was gay. It was when they had brought up the move, to be closer to a long-term counseling position for Charles, that she’d been moved out of her usual comfort zone.

Maybe if it had been more to the stance in which Charles chose to queen himself up, she would have been a bit more open minded, she considered. Her husband dressing in drag for PFLAG and Gay Pride parades was amusing and fun. Her son wanting to make a complete lifestyle change just because he was slightly confused wasn’t in any way entertaining.

“Patty, did you hear me?” Charles put a hand on her shoulder.

“Hmm?” She looked up, her eyes seeming to return from their haze of thought. “Sorry, I was just off in space, I guess.”

“Taylor is going to be out tonight; would you like to go have dinner. See a movie?” It was his subtle way of asking: would you like to try and reconnect with me tonight?

“Sure,” she nodded. It had been awhile since they’d made an attempt. Since they’d moved to Lake Elmwood actually. A few weeks after the move, and after Taylor’s 180-flip from boy to girl, they’d tried out a new restaurant, and gone to what was apparently the local “Lover’s Lane” to look at the view, talk, kiss. It hadn’t ended well. The view had been the gorgeous, but after the talking started, they never got to the kissing part.

“Good,” he nodded. “Taylor, any restaurant recommendations? You’ve been going out a lot with this beau of yours lately.”

“Really Dad?” She raised an eyebrow at him before adjusting the skirt of her dress. It was simple and black and hopefully didn’t show off too much how skinny she was compared to most girls…almost no curves at all, and definantly no child-baring hips.

“Really.”

She sighed, “Umm, romantic, you want Zinfandels, but it’ll be crowded with Prom-goers. You want low-key, try Tealeaves or Risottos.”

“Risottos is a pasta place?”

“Italian, yes, but they have a pretty wide menu,” she shrugged.

“Sounds good to me,” he nodded, glancing at his wife. “Patty?”

“Sounds delicious,” she nodded. “Let me go get changed and grab my purse.”

He leaned over, pressing a light kiss to her cheek before letting her make her way to their bedroom, down the hall. Once she was gone, he turned back to his daughter.

“This boy, he’s a good kid?”

“Yes,” she nodded.

“And you’re not going to be fooling around with him or anything, are you?”

“Dad!”

“Well, I know how boys think –how you think. We’re not that much different you know,” he crossed his arms. “Promise me that if you do, you’ll play it safe.”

“Of course Dad, I’m not stupid. But you don’t have to worry because we’re not. Jeez!” She shook her head roughly again, “We haven’t even been a couple for that long! Talk about presumptuous!”

“Just humor me, okay?”

“I promise,” Taylor gave herself one more look in the mirror, fluffed her hair and turned to face her father. “Now stop worrying, okay?”

“All right,” he nodded, stepping out of the doorway so that she could breeze past him. She went into her bedroom to grab her silvery chiffon shawl. She was just starting down the stairs when the doorbell rang. She turned, gripped her father by the shoulders and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“That’s Tucker. I’ll be home by midnight.”

He grabbed her arm as she started to turn back, “Now hold on a second…it’s your first prom! We need pictures.”

“Oh, Dad!” She broke free to stomp down the stairs as the doorbell sounded again.

“Hey –you want to be a teenaged girl, you’ll have to deal with teenaged girl angst. Let me grab the camera out of the side table.”

Taylor sighed opening the door. Tucker looked drop-dead gorgeous. He was good looking to begin with, but when he stuck him in a neatly tailored suit with a blueberry tie, and a matching pocket square. While she took a moment to assess him, he looked her over as well. Her dress was sparkly-black was cut to run long on her left side..

“Wow,” he finally said. “You look amazing.”

“Thanks, you don’t look half bad yourself,” she grinned, putting a hand on his arm to pull him forward into the hall. “My Dad wants a picture.”

“Sure,” he nodded.

“Tucker, you’re staring at me,” Taylor closed the door behind him.

“I guess I just can’t get over how amazing you look,” he shook his head. “You’ll have to tell me your secret one day.”

“A lot of time and a brand new breast form,” she told him, then blushed. “Sorry, was that too much information?”

He shook his head, “One day you’ll have to let me watch you change. I’m a little curious about what you look like as a boy.”

She pinkened some more as her Dad called from the top of the stairs.

“Found the camera!” He was fiddling with it as he appeared. “Oh, hello. You must be Tucker.”

“Hello Mr. Green.” Tucker shook hands with him, very official like. “You have a lovely home.”

“Jesus, are we on an episode of Glee?” Taylor shook her head.

“It’s mostly Patty,” Charles went back to adjusting the settings on the camera. “She’s got nothing better to do than decorate, so she’s been working from room-to-room throughout the house. I keep telling her to just leave it be, but she keeps insisting.” The camera seemed to whirr to life. “Ah! Finally! Now…how about we do the obligatory staircase shot?”

“Fine,” Taylor agreed. She and Tucker situated themselves on the stairs, put their arms around each other and smiled.

“Good, good,” Charles nodded. “Now, maybe in front of the door?”

“Only if we can be on the other side of it,” Taylor grumbled. “We’re leaving now. We have reservations.”

Charles frowned, “All right, fine, but here.” He pressed the camera into her hand. “Take some more for me later, all right? It’s not every day your old child goes to their first formal.”

“We will, Mr. Green,” Tucker agreed as Taylor zipped the small camera into her purse.

“I make no promises, you know that,” Taylor shrugged. “C’mon Tucker, let’s go.” She linked arms with him to step out into the cool spring night.

“Good night, Mr. Green,” he called, giving a half-wave.

“Sorry about him,” Taylor squeezed his arm a little tighter as they moved towards the sleek sedan parked at the curb. “…Where’s your truck?”

“I couldn’t take a pretty girl to prom in my truck,” he looked abashed. “I asked my Dad if I could borrow the car.”

“Really?” She ran a hand along the door. “This is a really nice car.”

He shrugged, “Don’t all parents have nice cars?”

“My parents drive a Prius. So, no.” She shook her head. The door make a loud click as she opened the door and she looked at the interior. “Holy crap, I’ve never seen a car this clean before. Is it new?”

“No,” he went around to the driver’s side to slide in. “Dad is away on business a lot, and Mom prefers to drive her Kia, so it doesn’t get used too much.” He leaned back to look at her as she continued to take in the residual new-car-scent, and leather upholstery. “Are you going to look at it or are you going to get in?”

She didn’t have to be asked twice before sliding into the sleek seats. She adjusted the shawl around her elbows and placed her purse in her lap before pulling the door closed again and clicking her seatbelt into place.

“So…I obviously lied about the reservations thing. So, where are we going to eat?”

“Flycatcher? You can’t get any more Anti-Prom than that.”

“Flycatcher? That sounds disgusting.”

“No, it’s really good food,” he promised, turning the key in the ignition. The car rumbled to life and he turned on his blinker. He took an extra cautious look over his shoulder before pulling into the street. “It’s a diner on the edge of town. Not many people aside from truckers and tourists on their way to Chicago or wherever go there. My Dad used to take me all the time when I was a kid, but then he got his promotion, and…well, I don’t see him as much anymore, much less do we have father-son bonding time. Even when he’s home, he’s still working.”

Taylor reached across the center console to press her palm to his thigh. He gave her a quick glance and a smile before letting his eyes return to the road.

“So, was your Mom home? I didn’t see her,” he asked. “Your Dad is really nice though.”

She nodded, “They’re going out tonight, so she was getting dressed. Old people are weird.” She shivered. “And the minute she disappeared, my Dad tried to give me ‘the talk’.”

“The talk?” He repeated.

“You know….the talk.” She emphasized.

“Oh!” He nodded. “That’s mortifying.”

“Seriously. I’m seventeen. I’m pretty sure I’ve got it covered.”

Tucker was quiet for a minute and Taylor mulled over what she had just said, and tried to correct herself.

“I mean…I know what goes on, and about protection and it’s not like I’m a saint…crap, I just fucked that up, didn’t I?” She blew out a breath of air. “This night just got awkward.”

He took a hand from the steering wheel to squeeze her hand that was still resting on his thigh. “I understood what you meant. But it was cute to try and fix it.”

“Well, it was a dumb thing to say! I mean, we haven’t even been going out for like two weeks. We’re not going to sleep together.”

“We’re not?” He used a faux tone of surprise to show that he was joking. “And I already reserved the seedy hotel room.”

“Sorry, you’ll have to find some other hussy to dirty up a room with,” she shook her head. “I have standards for hotel sex, and you can’t afford me.”

He shook his head, “Jokes aside, maybe that’s a talk we should be having ourselves?”

“You want to have a sex talk before prom?”

“I didn’t say right now,” he shook his head. “Just…you know, things are going well, and eventually –yes, I’d like to.”

“I’d like to too, but…” she slipped her hand from his leg and folded her fingers together in her lap, staring forward at the road. “I haven’t really decided how that whole area works for me now, you know?”

“Well, not to put pressure on you, but isn’t the best way to figure that out to explore with another person?” He slid another glance over at her.

“Yes…but, I don’t know. I’m just nervous about it.”

“If it helps, it’s not like I really know what to do either,” Tucker admitted.

“I’m not concerned about whether I know how to do it, Tucker. I’ve done it before.”

The car jerked as he tapped the breaks, “What?”

“I’ve been out for two years,” Taylor reminded him, pressing a hand to the dashboard. “I didn’t think it would be that big of a surprise.”

Tucker adjusted in the seat and resumed the easy driving, “It’s not, I mean, it shouldn’t be…I just didn’t think about it, I guess.” He slid her another glance, “You were comfortable with your other boyfriend…boyfriends?”

She nodded, “Yeah, but…now there’s so much baggage.” She motioned downwards. “It’s kind of embarrassing. I wouldn’t want you to see all this.”

“But you wouldn’t have a problem with me seeing you completely naked? Without any of the extra.”

“No, why would I? I don’t mind my regular body,” she looked down. “I just look better like this.”

He frowned, “I don’t understand you sometimes.” He turned on the blinker and pulled into an empty looking dirt parking lot. The building he parked in front of was clapboard and looked like it had been around for awhile. The glow from the lights seemed friendly though and through the windows they could see a very cliché diner waitress refilling coffee mugs, and a few patrons drinking from mugs or eating from unseen plates. He turned off the ignition and shifted in his seat to look at her. “But that’s okay.” He reached over to brush a piece of hair from her forehead, back behind her ear. “You’re a brand new learning experience.”

“That’s a sweet way to look at it, I guess,” She gave him a little smirk. “...But, it doesn’t bother you that I’ve had other boyfriends?”

“Well, I figured you did. I didn’t know you’d slept with them, but it’s not like everyone you meet is a virgin, you know?”

“Exactly. Besides, those guys slept with Jon,” she leaned forward to press a brief kiss to his lips. “You get to sleep with Taylor –and it’ll be her first time.” She grinned at his somewhat shocked expression as she reached for the door, gliding out of the vehicle.

“What do you mean by ‘those guys’?” He called. “…Taylor? How many does that mean?”

She closed the door on him without answering and waited at the end of the steps that lead up into the diner. He joined her a minute later.

“You’re not going to answer me, are you?” He asked, taking her arm and leading her up to he door. He held it open for her and they stepped through into the almost too-warm diner. They garnered a few looks in their formal attire, but no one said anything to them as they slid into a booth at the back.

“Not here, I’m not,” she shook her head. “You’ll have to earn the answer.”

“C’mon, it can’t be that many…two?”

She gave him a noncommittal shrug as the waitress came over with a couple of menus and her order pad.

“Evening. What can I get for you to drink?” She gave them an overlong stare, her pen poised over the pad after she had handed them the menus.

“Lemonade,” Taylor requested.

“Just a coke would be great,” Tucker echoed.

“Sure thing,” she nodded. “You’s going to the Clinton prom tonight or something?”

“Anti-Prom,” Taylor corrected. “We dress up and everything, but the dance floor is smaller, and there are contests, and video games.”

The waitress shook her head, “I remember my first prom…They always start with laughter and end in tears. Hopefully yours turns out better, doll.” She gave Taylor a grin. “Your date is much cuter than mine was at any rate. –I’ll be back with your drinks in a minute.”

“Thanks,” Taylor smiled back before taking the first look at her menu. “So, Tucker, what’s good here?”

“The smaller list would be what isn’t,” he replied. “In which case, all I have to say is stay away from anything with fish –except the tuna melt; that is delicious.”

Taylor pondered over the menu for a little bit more until the waitress returned with their drinks.

“Ready to order?” She asked, “Or would you like a few more minutes?”

“I think I know what I want,” Tucker closed his menu. “The Six special with mashed potatoes and coleslaw.”

Taylor looked down at the specials. Salisbury Steak with choice of sides. “Ooh, I’ll have the same, but instead of the slaw, can I get a side salad?”

“Of course,” she nodded. “Those’ll be up in a few.”

“Thank you,” the duo chimed.

“So,” Tucker waited until she was out of ear shot. “What are you going to make me do to earn the knowledge of the number I’m being pitted up against?”

“Show me a good time,” she shrugged. “And maybe we’ll see.”

He hummed, giving a little nod. “All right, fine.”

“So, you’ve never?” She motioned a hand to silently relay what she was asking. Tucker shook his head.

“Nope…never that interested in girls before and you already know about Conrad.”

“Well, then this will have to be fun for both of us,” she promised. She reached across the table to touch his hand. “But let’s not worry about that now; what are we doing at the dance tonight?”

“I put our names on the list for DDR and Guitar Hero,” he told her. “And Thom put together an amazing iPod shuffle for us, so there will be dancing of course.”

“I should warn you right now that I am a terrible dancer.”

“That’s all right –we can be one of those obnoxious couples that slow dances to everything,” he offered a compromise.

She gave a little laugh, “Okay, I’m not that bad.”

“All right,” he nodded. “Afterwards, how about we go out to the lake?”

“In your Dad’s car?” She wrinkled her nose. “I don’t know if he’d appreciate it.”

“We can stop by my place and swap for the truck.”

“All right,” she nodded. “But I told my Dad I’d be home by midnight.”

“I’ll have you home at eleven-fifty-nine,” he promised.

“All right, I suppose that’s all I can ask for,” she shrugged. She took a sip of her lemonade. It was just the right mix of sour and sweet.

They chatted a little more and the waitress brought their dinners. Everything was just as good as Tucker had assured her it would be –maybe even better. They took their time eating, Tucker settled the bill –even when Taylor offered to pay part of it, but he wouldn’t hear of it, playfully shoving her twenty dollar bill under the strap of her dress.

Once they arrived at the high school, they bypassed the loud upper-gymnasium that looked dark and packed with people, to take the stairs down to the basement. Conrad was sitting at a table outside of the doors taking pre-paid tickets and selling to others at a slightly elevated price.

“Hey Conrad, how’s it going?” Taylor asked, linking her arm in Tucker’s as the approached the table.

“Good,” he took their tickets, ripped off the small perforated edge, and then handed them back. “You two look spiffy.”

“Thanks,” Taylor did a little half curtsy. “I had to special order the dress online; I’m just glad it came in time. I did a rush-order on it.”

“Why is it special?” Tucker asked, giving her a once over.

She shrugged, “It just is.”

“Well, it looks nice,” Conrad repeated. “Why don’t you go inside? I’m sure your names are coming up on the game list.”

“Thanks Conrad. Will we see you inside later?”

He nodded, “Thom is taking over for me in about twenty minutes or so.”

“See you then,” she waved. “Come on, Tucker.”

The lower gym was dimly lit. There were some flood lights aimed above the gaming area, to give a little more of a glow, while the dance area was lit only by safety lights, rope lights, and clear Christmas tree lights, strung along the walls, and hung in arcs from wall-to-wall. They stopped to see where they were on the list for their games. Seeing that the wait would still be a little bit, they headed for the dance floor. It wasn’t nearly as packed as the Prom had been. There were about ten other couples shuffling around the dance floor.

Tucker slid his arms around Taylor’s waist, while she put hers around his neck. The song was something by the Plain White T’s, but she couldn’t tell whether it was something off their newest album, or their old one. She adjusted her hips against his as they swayed in a skewed square.

“So,” he looked down at her. “…now what?”

She smiled, “I don’t know…we’re at the prom and dancing. Isn’t that what it’s all about?”

“This is seriously boring,” he sighed.

She laughed, reaching up to brush her fingers through his hair, “We just got here! Besides, as part of the committee, we have to stay for at least a little bit –and we’ve got to come back for clean-up.”

“Shit,” he swore. “I completely forgot about that.”

“It’s okay,” she leaned up, pressing a kiss to his lips before leaning forward to whisper. “We stay here until we play our games, drink some punch, talk to people, take some pictures, and then we’ll go to the lake for a bit and be back here by eleven for clean-up.”

“Not enough time,” he shook his head. “Why don’t we find out if we can leave clean-up until tomorrow?”

“I’ll ask Conrad about it later,” she agreed.

“Ask Conrad what?” a voice sounded next to them.

“Jack!” She smiled, “You look nice.”

“You too,” he nodded at her. “What’s up?”

“We were just thinking about asking if we could clean-up tomorrow rather than tonight.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” he agreed. “I’ll ask Mr. Warrens; I’m sure he’ll be okay with it.” He referred to the Home Economics teacher, and the advisor of the GSA. The music changed to a faster, more upbeat song and a little unwillingly, Tucker and Taylor parted. “Do you guys mind if I dance with you?”

“Of course not,” Taylor agreed. “But I warn you, I’m a terrible dancer.”

“I doubt that,” he chided.

They lost themselves in the music for a little bit, dancing to several more songs. A few members from the GSA joined them, including Bailey, and much to his own chagrin, Conrad. He made a point to keep on the far side of their little group, away from Jack, who on his part tried to ignore that his now ex-boyfriend had joined them.

“Okay, I need a drink,” Taylor admitted. “Tucker, do you want something?”

“I’ll come with you –I think we’ll be up for DDR soon,” Tucker took her hand to follow her off the dance floor.

They grabbed glasses of punch and drank them. They were just tossing their cups into the recycle when their names were called over the speakers. They slipped off their shoes, failed spectacularly at a few rounds of Dance Dance Revolution in their allotted time –to be juxtaposed over to Guitar Hero, along with a group of fellow GSA members. Taylor took the microphone while Tucker went for the drums. Jack joined the group on bass, while Thom –taking a break from his door-duty took up the guitar. They hammered out a fairly decent rendition of Blink-182’s The Rock Show, as well as Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit.

Taylor had the person manning the game snap a few pictures of them, and then took a few more afterwards of the dance floor, and the obligatory red cup photos that accompanied any kind of teenaged get-together. Although, they weren’t technically true red cup photos as the cups weren’t red, and there wasn’t any alcohol involved.

“Hey,” Jack touched Taylor’s elbow as they started to walk back towards the dance floor. “Mr. Warrens said it’s cool to clean tomorrow; say ten o’clock?”

“Sounds good,” she nodded. “I think we’re going to take in one more dance and then call it a night.”

“You sure? There’s tons of stuff still going on –and we haven’t even done our first give-away yet –or crowned our peasants.”

She shook her head, “No, It’s been fun though, but we have other plans.” She looked up at Tucker. “Don’t we?”

He nodded, “Sorry Jack.”

“Oh, no, of course,” Jack amiably waved his hands. “You guys have fun. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Are you okay, Jack?” Taylor put a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m fine,” he nodded.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am,” he still didn’t sound very convincing. “I’ll probably follow in your footsteps; hang out for a few more dances, and then make my way home early.”

“Why don’t you ask Conrad to dance?” She turned him to face Conrad, who was leaning against the wall near the punch table, looking just as lonely as Jack felt. “You guys could at least be friends, even if you don’t want to date anymore.”

“I…I don’t know,” Jack shook his head. “We had a pretty big fight.”

“Just go apologize,” she swatted him on the backside. “Go on!”

Jack hesitated before following her advice. The duo didn’t wait to see how it turned out before returning to the dance floor for one last slow song.

“I’m ready to go, are you?” Tucker asked.

She nodded, “Sure.”

“Don’t forget your shawl, over on the bleachers,” he reminded her.

“Oh jeez, I would have walked off without it,” she rolled her eyes at herself. She linked arms with him again as they walked towards the door. She paused to wrap the shawl back around her shoulders.

As they returned to the upstairs of Clinton High, the Prom was still going in full-swing, though the crowd inside seemed to have dwindled just a little. There was a small crowd hanging outside, out of the din to talk, including Deena and Tina. They caught sight of her and waved.

“Hey!” Deena wrapped her arms around Taylor. “We hoped you’d come!”

“We were actually just on our way out,” Taylor gave her a small hug back. “How’s the Prom?”

“Great! You should sneak in for a little bit; they’ve abandoned the ticket table by now,” Tina suggested as Deena backed off.

“No thanks,” Taylor shook her head.

Deena wrinkled her nose, “Taylor, you’ve gotten really weird lately.”

“Deena, I’ve always been weird,” Taylor brushed her hair over her shoulder. “You don’t have to like it.” She turned to look up at Tucker. “Shall we?”

“This way, m’lady,” he gave a half bow, ushering her toward the entrance.

Deena and Tina started, flabbergasted as they two strode away, completely oblivious to everyone around them.

The two swapped out the sedan for Tucker’s usual battered pick-up truck before driving out to their look-out spot over Lake Elmwood. Once they had settled in the truckbed on a blanket, and were staring at the stars over the shimmering lake, Tucker finally brought up their previous conversation.

“So…have I earned the number?”

Taylor tilted her head to look at him, “I’m not sure, have you?”

“I think I have,” he coerced. “So what is it? Two? Three? Five?”

“Five? Am I some kind of slut?” She scoffed. “Two,” she shifted onto her side, leaning on her elbow. “Chris, before I came out to my parents. It was summer camp, when I was fourteen. How cliché is that? We spent the entire summer getting to know each other, and then the day before camp ended, we did it. It was awkward, but afterwards we promised each other we’d write and call and blah-blah-blah. I got two e-mails before he dropped off the face of the earth.”

“You seriously haven’t heard from him since?”

“Nope. His family moved to San Francisco for his Dad’s job, and I guess my address got lost in the shuffle. Or at least, that’s what I tell myself,” she shrugged. “The second guy was Sam. We dated for almost the entire time I was out, while I was in Cleveland. He was the first person I told about think I might be transgender. He didn’t really get it. We’re still friends, but he doesn’t know that I’m transitioning.”

“You…loved him?”

“I thought I might, but when he told me he couldn’t handle my wanting to be a girl, then I kind of knew it wasn’t meant to be. He’s a nice guy, and he’ll make someone very happy one day, but not me.” She shrugged.

“But sex was better with him, than with the other guy?”

She nodded, “I was Sam’s first, but I was kind of over the whole shy thing. We read up on stuff together, and when my parents went out of town for a conference, we had the house to ourselves and it just happened,” she shrugged.

“And how long had you dated him before you decided to do this?” He asked.

“Hmm…three months or so? I don’t know; we were fifteen and stupid.”

“And did you, you know…do it a lot?”

He shrugged again, “Whenever we could get more than ten minutes alone.”

“Jesus, you’ve probably done it…I don’t even want to know, do I?”

Taylor grinned, “Don’t worry; I don’t keep score or anything.”

“Well if you don’t, how am I going to know that I’m better than this Sam guy?”

“Well, you like me just the way I am, so…you get extra bonus points just for that,” she decided and leaned forward to kiss him. “Does that answer all of your concerns?”

“I don’t know. I’m still a little jealous.”

“We all have lives before we meet other people, Tucker.”

“True,” he agreed. “That doesn’t mean that I have to like it.”

“I can make it up to you,” she moved a little closer and hiked her dress a little higher to wrap a leg around his waist. The truck creaked as they folded into one another and their focus turned only to each other for another block of time. They weren’t quite sure how much time had gone past when another car rumbled into the enclosure, and headlights beamed across the truck. They parted and shaded their eyes as a brown hat and uniform came into view yielding a flashlight.

“You kids shouldn’t be out here,” came a young but stern voice.

“Sorry Officer, it’s just such a pretty place to star-gaze,” Tucker explained.

“Uh huh,” he gave a disbelieving nod. “Pack it up and get home. It’s getting late.”

“Of course,” Taylor nodded, “Sorry for the trouble.”

“No trouble,” he admonished. “Drive home safe now.”

They gathered up the blanket and slid from the back of the truck as the officer strode back to his squad car. Taylor slipped back into her shoes that she’d kicked off when they’d first gotten into the truck bed before getting into the passenger side of the truck.

“It seems a shame to go home when it’s only ten-thirty,” Tucker said as he revved up the truck engine.

“Well, my parents are probably still out at their movie. Why don’t we go back to my house,” she suggested.

“Or, we could go to my place. My Mom is on night duty, my sister is probably still at the prom, and my Dad is on business. We’ll have the whole place to ourselves.”

“And what about when your sister comes home?”

“She doesn’t even need to know you’re there. We’ll hole up in my room for awhile. Besides, she’ll probably go over to a friend’s house to crash.”

“It’s too tempting,” she shook her head.

“Exactly,” he chided.

“All right, fine, for an hour or so,” she agreed. “But no bedroom, all right?”

He sighed and nodded, “All right, all right. Playing it safe.”

“Not playing it safe…just, you know.” Taylor shrugged.

“I’ll play along with you,” he agreed. “Trust me on the whole ‘nothing will happen that you don’t want to’ thing…god, did I really just say that? I sound like some crazy rapist or something.”

“If you want to get anywhere near lucky, you probably shouldn’t use words like crazy rapist before we go to your house,” Taylor tipped.

“I know, I know, sorry,” he shook his head. “My fault.”

“I’m just teasing you,” she squeezed his thigh.

“I know,” he nodded. He relaxed in the seat as she moved closer to him, tucking her feet on one side of the center. He wrapped an arm around her and pressed his lips to the top of her head as they made their way down the road.

The North house was still and silent when Tucker parked the truck in the driveway. Taylor adjusted her shawl as she hopped out of the truck.

“Would you like something to drink? Eat?” Tucker offered, unlocking the front door. He punched the security code into the number pad located around the corner from the door.

“No thanks, I’m fine,” she shook her head. “Your house is nice.”

“It’s practically a bungalow compared to your house,” he shook his head, shrugging out of his suit jacket and loosening his tie.

“Nonsense, I just live in a newer part of town. I like your house better. You’ve lived here forever?”

“Basically. My parents bought it when they were newlyweds.”

“We lived in a condo in Cleveland. You’re lucky.” She wandered into the living room. “Everything seems so lived in here. My house seems so fake and starched, you know. Yours is so…”

“Dirty?” He suggested, picking up a jacket and kicking a pair of ballet flats under the couch. “I swear, no one ever puts anything away in this house.”

“Homey,” she retorted, taking the jacket from him and tossing it back on the chair. “I didn’t come over here to watch you clean.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I think I changed my mind about your bedroom. I’m kind of curious.”

“It looks like any other teenaged boy’s bedroom.”

“I’m sure it does –with underwear on the closet door knob and scantily clad girls on the walls.”

“Uh, no. My dirty underwear are in the clothes hamper, and the only woman on my wall is Picabo Street, clad very heavily in ski gear,” he promised. “Lots of sports figures…I like sports.”

“Picabo Street, really?”

“I was really into skiing when I was a kid,” he shrugged. “And…wait, swear you won’t tell anyone.”

“Cross my heart,” she mimed.

“I fucking love figure skating. I’m too bulky and tall to do it myself, but it’s like the high-light of my winter sports season. I TiVo that shit like crazy; drives my Mom and sister nuts.”

She laughed, “That is probably the gayest thing I have ever heard you say!” She tightened her grip around his neck as he started to pull away. “Wait, wait, I’m just teasing you.”

“…You really want to see my room?”

“Sure,” she nodded.

“This way,” he unclasped her hands and linked fingers with her to lead her up the stairs.

Like he’d warned her, his room was fairly normal. He had a few trophies lined up on a shelf above his desk, prominent sports figures were pictured on his wall –including the aforementioned Picabo Street poster.

“I like it,” she pulled away from him to take a seat on his bed. She fiddled with her shawl, smoothing it to lay at her elbows. “It’s very you, Tucker.”

“Thanks, I think.” He pulled the tie all the way out from under his collar, and tossed it down on his desk before unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt. “Do you mind if I change into something a little less…confining?”

“Only if I can’t watch,” she smirked.

“Not much to see,” he decided, continuing to unbutton his shirt.

“Oh, there’s lots to see,” she coaxed, leaning forward and grabbing the belt loops of his trousers to pull him towards her. She tugged the shirttails out of his waistband and started to unbutton from the bottom, meeting him in the middle. She reached up, pushing the crisp white fabric away from his shoulders. Finally, she stood to press her lips against his neck, then his collar bone and shoulder, making a slow trail downwards.

“Taylor…” He put his hands on her elbows. “Taylor, if you don’t stop, I can’t promise I’ll be able to call it quits down the line.”

“Sorry,” she sighed. “It’s just…” she blew out a breath. “We’ve been talking about it, and it’s like…now I want to do it.”

“Later,” he promised. He pulled the pins and band out of her hair, letting it fall back down around her shoulders. “I don’t want to move this too fast; it’s going to be new for both of us.”

“You’re so sweet,” she sighed. “How did I ever end up with a guy like you?”

“Just lucky, I guess,” he kissed her, as he pulled his fingers through her hair, fluffing it out. She pressed closer to him, feeling the hardness of his chest against her smaller frame. They fit well together. He was a little bit taller than her, but not much. He felt warm and soft, with enough masculine build behind it to make her feel (oddly enough) more feminine. They took a few steps backwards and landed on the bed. Tucker knelt with his knees on either side of Taylor’s hips.

“You’re very persistent,” he chided her.

“I can’t help it,” she sighed. “I have a cute boy, an empty house, and plenty of time on my hands…” She let her hand trail down his now bare chest.

“Not enough,” he shook his head. “Remember: parents. Curfew. Midnight.”

“So, call me Cinderella,” she gave a mock shrug. “But there’s only one happy ending I’m interested in.”

“That sounded so sleazy,” he chided, brushing her hair away from her neck. He leaned over, kissing her neck, then her collarbone, and finally sucked softly on her earlobe. A little moan of appreciation passed her lips and her nails dug into his back for a brief moment. He returned the noise of appreciation with a little hiss, his hands moving to her wrists and he pinned them up above her head.

“Tucker…” She breathed against his lips. “Be honest…should we?”

“Should we?” He repeated, with a thoughtful tone. He kissed her lightly again as his hands trailed back downwards. Then, he subtly backed off the bed, leaning with one palm against the bed near her head, and the other pressed to her hip. His feet were steady on the floor, and their knees locked together at the edge of the bed. “Probably not, but that isn’t going to stop us from wanting to.”

“Call me a crazy romantic, but…it should be special, right?” She queried.

“It will be,” he replied. He started to reach to touch her hair again, then pulled away, backing off completely to stride to his closet. “It will be later.”

“Are you mad?” She leaned up on her elbows.

“No, why would I be mad?” He picked up the shirt from where it had fallen on the floor and tossed it into the hamper, just inside his closet door before pulling out a plain white wifebeater, which he pulled over his head. It molded his form nicely. Then he started to unclasp his belt, hanging it on a peg alongside a few others on the door.

“Because I’m being a total cocktease.”

“You asked my opinion and I agreed with you,” he glanced at her. “Close your eyes, perv. You don’t get to see any goodies yet.”

She made a show of squeezing her eyes closed and covering them with her hands –then teasingly peeking through her splayed fingers.

“Ha-ha,” he feigned, waiting for her to fully comply. He kept an eye on her as he shrugged out of his trousers, tossing them into his basket as well before tugging on a pair of well-worn sweats. “All right, you can look now.”

“Sexy,” she decided, giving him a once over.

“Shut up,” he rebuked. “Although, with you still in that dress, I feel a little over dressed –hey, you never told me why you had to order it special.”

“Oh,” she blushed. “It’s a tranny dress.”

“…Okay?”

“It’s got special pockets in it, for…you know, cleavage. Since it’s only got one shoulder, it’s kind of hard to wear a bra, and I’d be totally mortified if one of them like fell off with tape or something.” She looked down, “I think it worked out pretty well.”

“I’ve never asked,” he sat on the bed next to her. “How far do you think you’d take this transgender thing?”

She shook her head, “I don’t know. I still wake up some mornings and just feel this panic in my chest because I don’t know if I’ll make it through the day as a girl. I’m always terrified that someone is going to find out; I mean, aside from those I’ve told.” She looked up at him, “I didn’t hate being a boy, Tucker. I just needed to know what it was like to not be one.”

“So…you’re having second thoughts?”

“I have second thoughts all the time,” she admitted. She got and picked up a baseball cap from his desk and tucked her hair up underneath it before adjusting the brim. “I used to be a star basketball player, even a little baseball. I gave it all up when I did this…I’m not sure it was worth it; I miss the team. I miss not being afraid my penis was going to betray me at any minute. As a boy –it was like, of course I’m going to get a hard-on in the middle of English when Spencer Taul walks by on his way to the pencil sharpener for the fifth time –I’m gay.”

“Is that how you look at it?”

“When I’m a boy, I’m gay. When I’m a girl, I’m straight.” She shrugged. “I think I’m learning that I don’t like labels. Why do we always have to be pegged with something based on what our bodies look like under our clothes?”

“I don’t know…I guess I don’t have that; I’m pretty happy being a guy.”

“Maybe this girl thing was too extreme,” she sighed, whipping the cap off and letting her hair fall back around her shoulders. “It would certainly make my mother happy…”

“You can be whatever you want,” Tucker told her, getting up to wrap his arms around her from behind, hugging her tightly to his chest. “And, as scary as it is for me to try and admit it to anyone…if you decide to come out, then I’ll still stand by you.”

“Really?”

“Really,” he swore.

She turned, and hugged him back, “That means a lot.”

They stayed like that for a bit before Taylor finally broke away. “It’s getting late, maybe I should be getting home?”

“Are you sure? We still have a little while.”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I’m tired and tonight’s been fun.”

“All right, let me pull my shoes on and I’ll drive you,” he went for his closet, pulling a pair of sneakers out of his closet.

“Thanks, Tucker.”

“No problem,” he smiled. “C’mon.”

The drive seemed to drag on, even though Tucker wasn’t driving and faster or slower than usual. The roads were pretty quiet, so the dance must have still been in full-swing. Tucker pulled the pick-up to the curb in front of Taylor’s very dark house.

“Doesn’t look like your parents are home yet,” the truck popped into park.

“Tucker?”

“What?” He leaned on the steering wheel.

“I really like you.”

He grinned, “I like you too.”

“But I don’t think I can date you anymore.” Her hand reached for the door pull. “Don’t ask me why. I’m not even really sure why, but…there’s a lot of stuff going on in my head right now, and I don’t want to burden you down with any of it.” She pulled her shawl and purse against her chest. “I’m really sorry.”

“Taylor, what do you…” he watched her open the door and slip from the seat.

“I had a lot of fun tonight,” she turned back to him. “Maybe we can do it again, when I’m, you know…more normal.”

“Taylor, I like you because you aren’t normal,” he scoffed. Then he winced as she slammed the truck door shut and started to make her way across the lawn. “Don’t walk away! Talk to me!”

She didn’t answer, reaching for keys, tucked into her purse.

He turned the ignition off and slipped from the truck, following after her. “Taylor, c’mon! You admit that we had fun together tonight; why are you telling me to get lost?”

She turned as the door unlocked and swung open, “Because Tucker, I don’t want you to feel like you have to coddle me. I’m not…I’m not a little girl, I never really was. I don’t need a big strong guy to protect me or look out for me. It’s sweet, everything you’ve said and done. But…You should be coming out for you, not for me.” She took a deep breath, “But it’s not about you –I need to decide what I really want, and I can’t lead you on and get your hopes up.”

“Taylor, I,” his voice caught as the words really hit him. “I love you.”

“No you don’t,” she shook her head. “You think you do because you’re upset that I don’t want to be your girlfriend…boyfriend, whatever. I mean it, I had fun tonight, but…” she shook her head. “I can’t be that with you right now. With anyone.”

She slipped into the house and closed the door behind her. Tucker sank onto the steps and folded his hands over his face. Sure, they hadn’t been together long…but he’d felt like it was finally going somewhere. He wasn’t being tied against his will, he really liked her; spending time with her, the kissing…oh man, the kissing. What had been the point of finally broaching the subject of sex if she was just going to dump him?

He sat on the cold cement steps thinking about it for a good five minutes before he realized that if any of the neighbors were to step out, they’d probably think he was some crazy drunk kid. He stood up, hunched his shoulders, and strode with his head held high toward the truck. If she wanted to break it off, that was fine. There were other people out there, just as good as she was…he hopped.