My Bitterness Re-Write (Chp. 2, part)

The party was already in full swing by the time Devin parked the car amid the other trucks, SUVS, and coups driven by the student body of Walton High. Lydia was dressed to kill –literally, with a spiked choker and matching bracelet with her striped ensemble, while the boys were slightly more conservative.
“So, we’re going to circle around, see if there’s anyone worthwhile, steal some food and drink, and then head back?” Lawrence confirmed.
“Sounds like a plan,” Lydia adjusted her choker. “I can’t wait to see Bradine’s face –she thinks she’s so fuckin’ badass…” She let herself trail off as they stepped throught he side gate towards the party noises. Devin could see Mildred’s parents waching the news on TV through the window –totally oblivious to the destruction of their new pool. The three split up, Lawrence heading toward a group of guys he played football with, Lydia to shove her better outfit in the face of Bradine, and Devin slouched off to get a drink.
The cooler by the picnic table was filled with sodas and beer. He reached into the bottom and came up with a can of Miller. He grimaced, but popped the tab anyway and took a tentative sip. Gross!
“You don’t really like the type to be drinking that.”
Devin turned around to stare at a pretty well toned, chiseled chest. His eyes rose up to an unfamiliar face, water beading down the guy’s cheeks from his damp hair.
“Excuse me?”
“Beer--,” he took the can, taking a drink of it himself. “You don’t look like you like it.”
“I don’t.”
“Then why’d you open it?” Mystery man didn’t return the can.
“Why does it matter?” Devin tilted his head slightly to the side.
“Just curious. You one of Mildred’s friends?”
“Not really.”
“I’m her cousin, Tobey,” he held out his hand. Devin’s eyes shifted from his face to his hand, back to his face. Tobey laughed a little awkwardly, withdrawing the handshake. “You’re cute, you know that?”
“Excuse me?”
“Come with me,” Tobey nodded towards the dark spot along the fence, a little secluded from the people and the noise.
“N-No thanks.”
“C’mon,” Tobey slid up close to him. “I’m a college guy. You can’t say no to me! This a once in a lifetime opportunity.” He tipped Devin’s face up with two fingers. “You know you want to.”
“Want to what?” Devin tried to ignore how smooth Tobey’s chest was as he shoved him away. “Freak. Get off me.”
For a second, he thought he saw a flash of hurt crossing Tobey’s face, but he brushed it off quickly. “Whoa, whoa, Little Man, cool it. I was just joking with you. Shit.” He finished off the beer, crumpling the can before tossing it towards the waste can. It bounced off the rim and onto the ground, but neither one moved to pick it up. “What’s your name?”
He thought about giving a fake name, but then figured Mildred would just identify him later if asked. “Devin.”
“Devin. You go to school with my cousin?”
“Yes.” He was getting irritated with the idle chit-chat. And he was pissed about the beer…
“Hmm, I think I’ve heard about you.” Tobey pondered. “Are you the one they call Sissy? Some incident with a tarantula?”
“No, that’s Lawrence.”
“Ah –you’re the one with the lesbian moms then?”
Devin sighed deeply through his nose, “So?”
“No –that’s cool. What’s what like?”
Devin shrugged, “Like any other family.”
“Is your Dad around?”
“I see him at Christmas. He just got married to some guy a few months ago.”
“So both of your bio-parents are gay?”
“…Yes.”
“Are you?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Just curious. See, from the reaction I can assume you are, but…I take it you’re not out. Weird, given your family situation.
“Are you some kind of psychology student?”
Tobey laughed, “No, no…just trying to get some kind of a read on you is all.”
“Why?:
“I told you –you’re cute. If you’d let me, I’d like to get to know you better. I was a total pig a few minutes ago, I know. Some guys really like that,” he reached up, pulling his fingers through Devin’s hair. “You’re not one of those guys though. Let me redeem myself?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Devin brushed his hand away. “I have to go find my friends.”
“Wait –,” Tobey grabbed his arm, pulling him back. “Can I get your phone number? E-mail? Anything?”
“I don’t think so,” Devin jerked free.
“If you don’t give it to me yourself, I’ll just make Mildred’s life miserable until she gets it for me.” Tobey warned.
“Good luck with that,” Devin called over his shoulder. He scooped up two cokes and bee-lined for Lawrence, who had been watching the exchange curiously from his spot at the edge of the fence.
“Who was that?” Lawrence took the can from him, popping the tab.
“I don’t know; Mildred’s cousin.”
“Oh. Tobey?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“He used to play football. Graduated two years ago.” Lawrence took a sip. “You should probably stay away from him. People already think you’re gay, ‘cause of your moms.”
Devin didn’t even bother trying to hold it back, “I really wish people would stop adding the S to the end of that –I have one mother and Faye.”
“Okay, okay, sorry.”
“And so what if I am gay? What the fuck is your problem with gay people? You’ve known gay people you’re entire fucking life, but every since Ray came out, you’re the biggest fuckin’ homophobe in the world. Fuck you, Lawrence Clements.” Devin set his still un-opened can on the nearby table and turned to stride towards the exit.
“Dev?” Lydia tried to catch him as he moved past her, but didn’t quite make it. She stomped after him in her boots, out of the gate, leaving Lawrence gape-mouthed with his coke.
“What do you want, Lydia?” Devin sighed as she slid into the passenger seat next to him.
“What the hell just happened?”
“Nothing. He just pisses me off.
“Sissy pisses everyone of.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m just sick of his stupid attitude.”
“I saw you talking to Tobey…” Lydia encroached tentatively. “He’s cute.”
“He’s gay.”
“I know.”
“Don’t fuck start in too.”
“Dude, I’ve been one of your best friends since pre-K. You can’t hide anything from me! I’ve known since we were eight that you were a little different. Lawrence is just a fucking retard if he doesn’t see it.”
Devin slid his hands up the steering wheel cover, looking out across the parked cars. “I don’t care what other people think about me, Lydia, but…Sissy is my best friend.”
“I know.”
“I can’t just tell everyone but him.”
“You can’t let one person hold you back either,” Lydia pointed out.
“Shit.” He sighed, closing his eyes and shifting down in his seat. “I hate this.”
“I know,” she reached over to pat his knee, “but you will feel so much better when you aren’t hiding yourself anymore. I’m not saying that it isn’t going to suck, but getting to be yourself is going to be so worth it in the end. Plus, Tobey is totally hot.”
“Yeah, he’s cute.”
“And I think he liked you.”
“Yeah, the bulge in his shorts was pretty obvious.” The both of them broke into laughter, releasing the tension in the car.
“C’mon, lets go back in,” Lydia tugged on his sleeve.
“You go ahead, I’m going to sit here for a minute,” he waved her on.
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, really,” he gave her a brave sort of smile which she returned before getting out of the passenger seat. He waited until he saw her slip back through the side gate to the party before reaching for the box of old-school razorblades he kept in the glove box.

Saturday Morning at the Garage (A Dukes of Hazzard Story!)

Note: I've been working on this off and on for about four years now. Every so often, I'll open it up and re-read it, type a few lines and close it again. This is a very long piece (25k+ words right now, or roughly 47 pages). A very, VERY long "short story", I guess. Here's the beginning though. I apologize for the poor format!
__
As usual per their Saturday morning routine, Bo and Luke Duke arrived at Cooter’s garage for their typical Saturday breakfast of beer and doughnuts. It was still early, so the boys were surprised to see a jump-suited figure under the hood of an old junker.
“Hey Cooter -the old jalopy giving Mr. Jenkins trouble again?” Bo leaned against the door.
“Actually, Cooter had to run into Atlanta to pick up a replacement part -and Mr. Jenkins just brought it in to change the spark plugs. “ Cooter Davenport’s youngest cousin Jack emerged from under the hood. “Beer is in the fridge, doughnuts are on top of the toolbox.”
“Oh, thanks.” Luke picked up the box before sitting down on the hood of the General Lee. He took one and handed the box over to Bo.
Jack disappeared under the hood again, “What are you boys up to today?”
Bo shrugged, “Just staying out of trouble, Jack.”
Jack laughed, emerging again and slamming down the hood of the car, “Sounds like a typical day for the Duke boys then.”
“And you? Are you stuck here all day?”
“Naw. Just until noon or so, then B.B. is coming in.” Jack wiped his hands on a grease rag before helping himself to a doughnut. “Cooter only lets me work five hours at a time, ‘cause I’m still in school.”
“Aw, he just wants to make sure you aren’t the one in the garage when us Duke boys come down here for help. Heaven forbid the littlest Davenport get into trouble.”
“Just because I’m still in high school doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy my own fair share of trouble. -How’s the General?”
“Oh, he’s runnin’ fine.”
“Just fine?”
“Aw don’t worry about it, Jack. We’ll have Cooter look at it.”
Jack shrugged, “It’s alright. I know you think I’m incompetent.”
“We do not! ...What’s incompetent?” He whispered the latter at Luke.
Jack smiled, “No skin off my back, fellas. You want me to schedule an appointment with B.B.?
“No. The General is just fine.” Luke sighed, brushing the sugar from his fingers. “Bo, I’m going to run over to the post office to get those stamps for Daisy.”
Bo nodded, polishing off his 3rd doughnut, “Okay, cuz.”
“Keep him out of the trouble.” Luke requested of Jack before hopping off of the hood of the car, and walking out of the garage.
Bo and Jack continued with breakfast in a few moments of silence.
“You gonna be at the Boar’s Nest tonight?” Bo asked.
Jack shrugged, “Maybe. I’ve got some schoolwork to finish.”
“On a Saturday?”
“Time stops for no man. Might as well work on it today then struggle to get it done tomorrow.”
“You’ve got a lot more ambition then I ever did in school.” Bo laughed.
Jack smiled again, “Anything to keep Cooter and my other cousins off my back.”
Bo laughed again, “Yea, I suppose that wouldn’t be a pretty predicament to be in, eh, Jack?”

It was only a little after nine when Jack entered the Boar’s Nest with Cooter.
“Well hey!” Luke greeted them, making room for the pair at the table between him and Bo, “It’s a rare pleasure to see two Davenports out on the town.”
“Hey Bo, Luke.” Jack greeted them as he and Cooter sat down.
“Hey Boys. What ‘er you two up to?” Cooter asked, signaling to Daisy.
“Oh, just havin’ a drink. You?”
“Just spendin’ some time with the littlest Davenport.” Cooter patted Jack on the shoulder.
Jack sighed, hating the reference of ‘littlest Davenport’.
“Well hey Cooter -Jack. What can I get you two?”
“A beer for me, and a coke for Jack. Thanks.” Cooter gave her one of his best smiles.
“Sure thing, Cooter.” Daisy nodded.
Cooter and the Duke boys got down to talking and Jack sipped at the coke that Daisy brought him. No one seemed to notice when a stranger walked up to Jack’s chair, kneeling beside him, whispering in his ear for a moment.
After listening, Jack nodded and watched the stranger walk away.
“Hey, Cooter. I’m going outside for a minute. I’ll be back.”
“Whoa -what’s goin’ on?” Cooter asked.
“Nuthin’. Billy Sharpton’s got a new engine in his Dodge he wanted to show me is all. Don’t worry. I’ll be right back.” Jack patted his shoulder before walking out of the bar.
“Bill Sharpton my ass.” Cooter swore.
“What’s the matter, Cooter?” Bo asked.
“Nothin’... Jack’s been lyin’ up storm’s lately is all. Say’s he’s out doing one thing, but no one knows where he actually is.” Cooter bit down on a piece of popcorn. “And he’s got these damn bandanas shoved in his back pockets. Navy and baby blue. Damned if I know what it means.”
Bo and Luke looked at one another, then at Cooter.
“Well, the boy’s growing up. Time he got himself a little freedom, Cooter.” Bo shrugged. “Besides, Jack knows to stay out of trouble.”
Little did any of them know what the littlest Davenport was actually up to, outside the Boar’s Nest in the stranger’s car.
Before moving to Hazzard to live with cousin Cooter, Jack Davenport had lived in Atlanta with his parents like any normal kid. But while he lived there, he had discovered a still-taboo subculture, and found that he actually quite enjoyed the company of other men. Hence the handkerchiefs, the unexplained disappearances, and the sloping grades no one had quite noticed yet.
So here he was, in the back of some strange car excepting sexual favors from a guy he really only knew as ‘Jacob’. He wasn’t exactly a complete stranger. Jack had gone on rendezvous with Jacob before. He was probably the closest thing to a boyfriend he’d ever had.
“Why are we always doing this in my car?” Jacob groaned in his ear.
“Because my cousin wouldn’t be to keen on finding us in his truck...or his garage...or really anywhere else that he might catch us.”
Jacob sighed, “You could just tell them you’re a fucking queer.”
“Do you really think that would be better?”
They moved apart, readjusting their clothes back into place.
“You never know. Maybe they’ll be okay with it.”
“You obviously haven’t been in Hazzard very long, Jacob.”

“So, how’s that engine?” Cooter asked when Jack returned to the table.
“Ran like a dream.” Jack picked up his soda, grimacing at the taste of melted ice in the coke.
“Hmm...You might be interested in know that Billy Sharpton stopped by while you were outside.”
Jack spit the soda back into the glass.
“Oh?”
Cooter nodded with one of his sarcastic smiles, “Yep.”
“Oh.”
“You want to tell us what’s goin’ on Jack?” Bo asked.
“Nothin. Don’t worry about it.” Jack picked up his baseball cap from the table. “It’s been fun boys, but I think I’ll head home.”
The trio followed Jack with their eyes before putting their heads together to discuss the problem. After three more rounds and a fast bar fight, Cooter bid the Duke boys goodnight in order to retire home and put the plan into action.
Jack was already asleep when Cooter came home. He had a few qualms about invading his cousin’s privacy as he pushed open the door to his bedroom. Jack groaned, but didn’t wake up, and Cooter breathed a sigh of relief.
He knew exactly what he was looking for -the answer to all of his questions. And now was the only prime time to nab it. Jack’s diary went everywhere with him.
There it was, the green spiral notebook laying innocently on Jack’s desk. Cooter moved stealthily across the floor, careful of the creaky floorboards. Then, he snatched the notebook from the desk and snuck sneakily back out of the room. Finally, he had it! The answers to the questions that Jack was avoiding like the plague.

Usually, Sunday was Cooter’s day off, but after church and dropping Jack off at home, he retired back to the garage where he would better be able to read Jack’s journal without the chance of Jack interrupting.
Kicking back in his office, Cotter cracked open the notebook.

November 21
Thanksgiving is a crock. Why would I want to celebrate a holiday with my family (of all people) that originated 100 years ago between pilgrims and a bunch of Indians?
Anyway, after Christmas, I’m moving to Hazzard to live with cousin Cooter. Since Baby Alexandria was born, money’s been tight and Cooter is always looking for help in the garage. I’m not mad about it, honest. I just wish that everything else could go with me. And I’m not talking about my family.
Mom is calling for dinner. Oh joy.
J.D.

Cooter took a moment to think about how Jack had signed his name. J.D. It seemed only normal for him to go by his initials like the other Davenport cousins, but since he had come to Hazzard it was just Jack.
The next month of entries were dull, careful meanderings, talking about school and his friends. So far, the journal hadn’t offered any answers. Then, just before Jack was to move to Hazzard, all of the answers where there.

December 22
I’ve decided what I will miss most while I’m in Hazzard...well, no, maybe not ‘what’, but ‘who’.
Matt Bradshaw. The guy I met after stumbling into Birds Eye View. Well, nearly a year later, I still see him once in awhile. Not too often, least we slip up in public.
Mostly, I meet him at BEV and he’ll rent out a room in the back for an hour. I always offer to chip in, but he just kisses me and shakes his head. I don’t mind. More money for me, I guess.
My family doesn’t know about any of this yet. As far as I know, no one’s really had to like, experience that kind of news -that someone they know is gay.
It’s weird actually, writing that word down and knowing that it’s the only word that can really describe me, the way I feel. The reason I don’t date girls, and the reason I find myself sneaking out of the house to go down to BEV.
It’s also weird that it’s all really going to have to stop once I leave Atlanta because I’m sure there isn’t a gay community in Hazzard. But you never know, do you? Matt taught me a trick with bandanas, putting them in your back pocket. Different colors mean different things. Dark blue is “I want to/want to be fuck(ed)”, light blue is “I want to/want to be suck(ed)”. There are other colors, but I’d never wear any of the others. You need to be careful when you approach guys with bandanas, ‘cause they could just like the look.
So, I have a lot of packing left to do. Cooter is picking me up on New Year’s Day. I hope he doesn’t have a hang over...
J.D.

Cooter carefully closed the journal, leaning back in the chair. Suddenly, it all made sense, and fit together. He wasn’t really sure how he felt about it though. The littlest Hazzard Davenport was gay, of all things to be. Cooter didn’t need to read it again, to double check that he hadn’t misread. He just knew it was true.
When he returned home, late that night, Cooter had to think twice about waking up Jack and admitting what he had done. He knew if he did, Jack would be upset, but was this something that could really be ignored? Was this something that could wait? Or was it already to late?

Jack woke up when Cotter sat down on the edge of the bed.
“What’s the matter?” He asked, blinking sleepily, glancing at the clock.
“Nothin’ -I just thought we could have a talk is all.”
“At two in the morning?”
“Yea...sorry about the time.” Cotter shrugged.
“So, what is this about? What can’t wait until daylight?”
“I don’t know how to say this, Jack...” Cooter set the notebook beside him on the edge of the bed. “I was worried. I am worried about you. I did somethin’ I’m not real proud of.”
“Cooter, I have never seen you look so ashamed of yourself. What did you do?”
“I read your journal, Jack.”
The room was quiet, and Jack’s heart skipped a beat.
“You what?” The news registered in Jack’s head. “Why would you do that?”
“I told you! I was worried about you! You never tell me anything!”
“Did you read all of it?”
“No, but I read enough of it.”
“God, Cooter! That was private!”
“Why didn’t you just tell me what was going on with you, Jack? Why did you have to go around hiding it?”
“Why shouldn’t I hide it? I’m a freak, Cooter!” Jack pushed him off of the bed. “Get out. Just go.”
“No, this isn’t over.” Cooter held his ground. “How long did you think you could keep hiding this? Keep going around doing what ever it is that you’re doing.”
“As long as I needed to!”
“Jack, you don’t have to hide anything! Not from me!”
“Cooter, you don’t understand. I have to hide from everyone.”
“If you wanted to hide, you wouldn’t look for it.” Cooter crossed his arms. “If you wanted to ignore that this is what you are, you’d be fighting it. You’ve accepted yourself for who you are. What other people think doesn’t matter.”
“You’ve been in Hazzard to long.” Jack shook his head. “As much as I’ve enjoyed your little motivational speech, I think you need to go. Right now.”
Cooter nodded, “Yea, fine. I better let you get back to sleep. You’ve got school in the morning.”

The next morning, Jack avoided Cotter before school, getting ready as quickly as possible before setting off for school in his ‘78 chevy. Part of him knew that Cooter had just done what he thought was best, but the other part of him still felt betrayed.
He had the feeling that this -as the school year was beginning to dwindle, that he wouldn’t be able to avoid Cooter for long.

“Hey Cooter.” The Duke boys strolled into the garage in the late morning. “What’s goin’ on.”
“Hey.” Cooter didn’t offer up much conversation, staying under the hood of an ancient ford truck.
“What’s the matter?” Bo asked, leaning on the tire. “Jack?”
“It’s nothin’.” Cooter shook his head. “What can I do for you boys today?”
“Well, we just stopped by for some witty conversation, but we can see know you’re not up for that today.” Luke leaned on the other side of the car.
Cooter shrugged, wiping his hands on a grease rag, and then shoved it back into his pocket before slamming the hood of the truck, “It’s a family thing. Don’t worry about it.”
“Somebody die? You’ve never looked this down before.”
“Naw, nobody died!” Cooter sighed. “Can’t a man just be depressed once in awhile?”
Both of the Duke boys raised they eyebrows at him.
“Aw, shut up, the both of you.” Cooter moved towards his office, the Duke boys at his heels.
“Is this about Jack?” Luke asked. “Did you do it?” He raised an eyebrow.
Cooter sighed, swiveling his chair around, and propping his feet up against the filing cabinet, avoiding the Duke’s looks head-on.
“Well? You gonna tell us what’s goin’ on with the boy, or what?” Bo asked.
“Don’t worry about it, okay?”
“Cooter... What’s going on? Is it something serious?”
“Naw.” Cooter shook his head. “Jack’s just a little miffed with me for reading his journal.”
“So, did you find out what was going on?”
Cooter shrugged. Neither an agreement or a denial.
“And?”
“It’s nothin’. Forget about it.”
“You know you wanna tell us.” Bo tried tempting him, taking a seat on the edge of Cooter’s desk, crossing his feet at his ankles, his long denim encased legs stretching out in front of him.
“I can’t. Jack would kill me. You don’t want in on this, okay?” Cooter shook his head. “Now, do you two need something, or can I get back to work?”

Snippet: Were/Vamp Untitled

Martin leaned against the heavy oak post at the top of the steps leading down to the cement walk-way he and his dad had put in when he was a kid. Looking out over the dark yard he could feel the energy of the moon wafting through his body. It was still two weeks until the next full moon, but the power was always there, calling him…telling him to come and play in the thick uncut grass of the woods, and roll around in the undergrowth. Hunt the tempting little critters that teased him –squirrels, rabbits, even the birds.

His nose twitched involuntarily as he smelled something new –something besides the usual dampness that caked the farmland that his parents had settled so many years ago. He took a deeper breath before raising is arm to stop the incoming attack.

“You’re getting better at that,” his would-be assailant teased.

“Yes, well, you don’t exactly blend in,” Martin cocked an eyebrow at him. “What are you doing back here? I thought you were gone.”

“How could I leave my little Fuzzball?” the man teased, brushing Martin’s still-raised arm away so he could step closer. “I did my business elsewhere; now I’m just…wandering, I guess.”

“Oh,” Martin nodded.

“Are you angry?”

“You know we can’t…” Martin shook his head. “Our kind don’t mix.”

“Don’t, or shouldn’t?” He tilted Martin’s chin up, pressing their lips briefly together. “Just because our kinds don’t typically, doesn’t mean we can’t, or that we shouldn’t. Sometimes, rules are made to be broken.”

Martin gave in to his mouth, and he groaned at the cool lips on his. After a few moments of steamy reunion, he broke away, pushing away, moving back towards the door to the house. He stepped over the threshold and turned back to look at his former lover. “Why’d you come back, Tobias?”

“I missed you, what more reason is there?” He shook his head. He moved to step through the doorway himself but cringed as he found the door barricaded. A subtle wave of discomfort moved through his body and stepped back. “You rescinded my invitation?”

“I figured it would be safest for both of us if I did.”

“You love me,” Tobias shook his head.

“And that love will kill me some day,” Martin shook his head. “Good night, Tobias. Sweet dreams.” He pushed the door closed, doing his best not to take a last glance at the vampire.

“Martin,” Tobias banged a fist against the door. “Martin, c’mon! Talk to me at least!”

Martin squeezed his eyes closed, leaning back against the door, trying to remember how the hell they had gotten to this point…


It was a hot summer night in July when Martin first laid eyes on the vampire. He was roaming pack-less since his parent’s death. He didn’t need anyone else; he was tired of Pack Politics in the other local packs. He was capable of keeping himself safe. It wasn’t a full moon, but after a stressing week at work, doing road construction for the county, he needed to unwind. He’d changed into wolf-form and gone for a run in the woods that surrounded his childhood home. He hadn’t expected to come across anyone else…

He hunkered down at the edge of the trees and stared at the vampire. He’d never seen one up close before; just heard about them in stories and seen media representations…but up close and personal…he huffed a little sigh. He was gorgeous. His thick black hair was cropped neatly to his collar, and his skin looked like porcelain in the moonlight. He edged backwards into the underbrush as the vampire slowly turned, staring right at him.

“Come out, come out little pup,” he taunted. Martin involuntarily let loose a low growl. The vampire laughed, kneeling down and holding out his hands. “No worries, I’m not going to hurt you, Were. I’m a little lost. I could use your help.”

He was still suspicious, but couldn’t very well run. Martin wasn’t the running type –he always faced trouble head on. It was probably one of his biggest downfalls. He edged out of the brush, and circled the vampire, tail twitching.

“I don’t suppose you could change so we could talk?” The vampire stood back up, putting his hands on his hips. Martin obliged, shifting back into human form. He stood up, trying his best to ignore the fact that he was totally naked.

“You’re far from home, aren’t you Stranger?” The grass was damp beneath his feet and he kept his eyes steadily placed on the newcomer.

“Not so far,” he shook his head. “I’m a bit lost though, as I said. I’m looking for Julianne?”

“The town or the person?”

He smiled, showing his canines had extended just a little as he gave Martin a once over, “The town; my friend has a bar there.”

“Vampire bar?”

“Maybe,” he nodded.

“Then you must be looking for Janice Peat,” Martin had heard of the vampire owner of Gush, the vampire bar in the city, ten miles west, but had never met her or stepped foot in the bar. “You’re not so lost. Keep going west; you can’t miss it.”

“You look cold,” he noted.

“Not really,” he shook his head. He jerked forward as he was suddenly behind him, his hands squeezing Martin’s upper arms as he pushed his mouth close to the Were’s ear.

“Are you sure, pup?”

Martin’s body began to involuntarily shiver and he pulled him up against himself, wrapping his arms around his waist. He was warmer then Martin expected and he could smell the blood on him; he had fed recently. Surprisingly though, it didn’t smell human. He had a hard time believing that this beauty had a hard time finding willing victims.

“Yes,” Martin pulled free from him, quickly changing back into his wolf form before he could stop him. He felt better once he was back on all fours. The vampire put his hands on his hips, looking down at the wolf.

“Well, you just aren’t any fun at all, Fuzz Ball,” he sighed. He brushed his hand over his forehead. “Thank you for the help. I’ll repay you soon.” He gave him a cheeky grin before reaching out a hand to pat his head. Martin let him trail his fingers under his muzzle, and he pressed his lips to the top of his furry head. He jerked back again, surprised. The vampire just grinned before disappearing in a rustle of leaves and twigs.

Martin had almost forgotten about the vampire until a week later, as he sat out on his porch with a beer, listening to the breeze. He could smell the storm that was brewing up, but he wasn’t worried. He loved rain and couldn’t wait to go out and lay in the wet grass.

Martin was so lost in his thoughts, getting excited for the storm, that he nearly dropped his beer when the vampire appeared on the top step and cleared his throat.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” Martin caught the bottle swiftly and pressed a hand against his chest. “What the hell is wrong with you?!” He couldn’t believe he hadn’t smelled the stranger coming onto his property; the vampire may have been fast, be no way was he that fast.

“Sorry,” he grinned. No fangs this time. “I wanted to thank you for your help the other night, Pup.”

“My name is Martin,” he sighed. “Stop calling me pup.”

“Tobias,” he gave me a little nod. “I’d like to repay you for your help the other night.”

“No big deal; just directions,” he stood up, brushing dampness from where he had spilled some of the beer onto his jeans. “Damn it…”

“Let me take you to dinner,” He made to follow me as he moved into the house. He cringed as he was barricaded at the door. Martin didn’t issue an invitation, but kept the door open between the porch and the kitchen as he set the bottle down on the counter. “I heard there’s a Bar and Grill in town that’s pretty good.”

Martin cocked an eyebrow at him, leaning against the stove so that he could stare at him. He liked the feeling of keeping the barrier between them. “No thank you.”

“Then perhaps I can repay you some other way?” He returned my raised eyebrow, his hands pressing against the door frame. He looked good…too good, actually. He was wearing a thin leather jacket and a plain red t-shirt with the name of some tattoo parlor on it in white print. His jeans were dark, but not black, and hugged him nicely. His shoes were expensive looking sneakers. He looked…normal. Just like a regular guy, actually, as long as you ignored the slowly descending fangs, and the pearly-white skin. Martin subconsciously decided he’d look good with a tan…he found himself wondering if that rub-on stuff worked on vamps.

“I don’t think so,” he finally shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Does my vampirism really make you that uncomfortable?” He tilted his head to the side. He was struck by the way his hair framed his face so nicely.

To answer the question: He wasn’t sure. He was the first vampire Martin had ever met. He had known of their existence, ever since they’d come out of hiding four years before. The Weres and the shape-shifters had only been “out” for about six months now, but their kinds still didn’t mix very well. Finally, he shook his head, “It doesn’t matter to me what you are.”

“But you’re still skittish; like a deer in headlights. You are a Were, right? Not some silly shape-shifter who just likes wolves? You looked too big to be one of those.”

“I’m a Were,” Martin confirmed. “But whether that’s what I am or not, we’re still…”

“Werewolf and Vampire,” he finished. “Deliciously wrong, isn’t it?”

Martin crossed his arms over his chest and continued to look at him. He gave him another cheeky grin, and trailed his finger down the invisible barrier. He could just almost see it shimmer as he did so.

“Invite me in,” he requested. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

“What do you want?” Martin pushed back away from the stove, standing just out of his reach.

“Just to get to know you better. It isn’t every day I meet a cute puppy like you.”

“I am hardly a puppy.”

“You’re right…you’re too sexy to be called a pup,” he was teasing now.

“Ah. So, you just want to get into my pants. Figures.”

“Well, I got a good look at what’s inside of them already, so…you can say my interest has been peaked,” he nodded. “What if I promise, no biting?” He barred his teeth for a moment to show that his fangs were still well concealed.

Martin couldn’t stop himself before saying, “What’s sex without a little biting? You’re talking to a werewolf. We bite all the time.”

He grinned, “Okay, okay, maybe just a little. I’m pretty sure you can’t hurt me with those tiny little canines of yours,” The barrier rippled as he stroked his fingers down it again. “So, what do you say? Let me repay you with a little carnal knowledge?”

Martin looked past him to where it had started to sprinkle rain. He stared at the drops before stepping through the doorway. Tobias’s hands went to Martin’s hips as he pressed willingly up against him. He hummed, kissing his lips.

“So warm,” Tobias’s fingers inched up under the hem of his new conquest’s thin white tank. “And surprisingly smooth,” he grinned, teasing a little.

Martin shrugged, “I’m still young.” He pushed the vampire’s jacket back over his shoulders and tossed it onto the porch swing. “But you’re surprisingly warm too…” He pressed his face into the pale neck, taking a deep breath. “I smell…raccoon and…” Martin raised an eyebrow, “Lyd Schaff’s dog?”

“The bastard was asking for it…I didn’t kill him,” Tobias assured the werewolf. “But he sure as hell won’t be barking anymore.”

“Shame on you. Poor dog was probably just scared of you.”

“He’ll get over it,” he shrugged. He pulled Martin’s shirt over his head and tossed it aside. His fingers were cool as they trailed up his chest. “Besides, I expected things to go my way, and I hate having sex on an empty stomach –it’s much harder to control yourself,” he pressed his lips against the decidedly darker-skinned neck and Martin could feel his jugular vein pulsating, like it was begging for Tobias to sink his teeth into him. He moaned, feeling the vampire’s fangs testing the skin, but not biting down. He sucked at the skin, making Martin push up against him.

“You really want to do this out here?” He asked.

“Yes,” Martin looked him straight in the eye as he started undoing his partner’s belt. He pulled it free from the loops in a swift movement, letting it clatter to the porch. “What? You don’t like the great outdoors?”

“I love the great outdoors,” Tobias countered. He linked his fingers through the belt loops of Martin’s jeans, and pushed him up against the porch railing. His lips pressed to his again, and his tongue reached out to coax past the Were’s lips. Martin gave in, probably a little too easily; it had been too long.

They undressed each other the rest of the way, and Martin could feel Tobais looking down at him appreciatively before he forcibly bent him over the railing. His hands came down between his thighs and Martin squeezed his eyes closed, biting his bottom lip. Tobias covered his back, his lips and teeth nipping at his skin. His tongue lapped at the sweat, beading at his neck. Martin nearly howled as he pushed inside the first time.

“It’s okay,” he encouraged. “Let it out.” The vampire stroked sinewy fingers down his spine as he started making fast-paced strokes. He couldn’t even stop the wolfish growl of pleasure from escaping his throat. Tobias grinned against Martin’s neck, pushing harder than before. Martin’s eyes squeezed closed as the vamp bared his teeth against his throat again. His fangs were fully descended now, and the Were could feel them pressing slightly harder into his throat every second until they broke the skin. He tipped his head back, pushing his throat tighter against the vampire’s mouth. Tobais’s tongue lapped at the wounds.

“You taste good,” he teased. He wrapped his arms around, bringing a hand to stroke his partner.

“Glad I’m to your liking.” They continued for a few minutes before Tobias made a short guttural noise in his throat, and Martin could feel that his partner was close. The vampire lifted his wrist to his mouth, tearing into his own arm before pressing it to the Were’s mouth. His first instinct was to turn away, but he found that he couldn’t. The vampire’s blood was curiously warm and didn’t taste like anything he had ever had before –and he had tasted the blood of many animals in his years as a werewolf. Tobias moaned as Martin sucked the quickly healing bite. The vamp waited until he felt the were’s own jerk to completion before he pulled his arm away, and released him from the porch rail. Tobais grinned, stretching his arms over his head.

Martin felt shaky as he reached up, wiping the traces of blood from his mouth.

“You all right?” He asked.

He nodded, moving to sit down on the edge of the porch swing, “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“You sure? You look a little peaked,” he tilted his face up to look him in the eye. “Did I take too much?”

“No, I’m…fine, really.”

Tobias didn’t look like he believed him, and for that matter Martin wasn’t sure if he believed himself. He wasn’t sure what was more discerning: that he had just been fucked by a vampire on his back porch, or that he had just had blood-play sex with a vampire on his back porch.

Tobias leaned down, pressing his lips to the shaken werewolf’s. Martin could taste and smell the blood. His blood. Tobias’s blood. He could feel it, churning, in his stomach.

“You should go,” He stammered after he had broken the kiss.

He narrowed his eyes, “Is that what you want?”

“Yes.”

“All right,” he nodded. He took his time pulling on his clothes. He shoved his feet back into his sneakers and was lacing them with his foot propped up against the railing where he had just had the Were bent over just minutes before. “We should do this again sometime…but, next time, can we do it like civil people?” He gave Martin an admonishing look.

“You paid me back for the directions. There isn’t any need for a next time,” he shook his head. He picked up his clothes and moved inside of the kitchen. Tobias was stopped by the invisible barricade again as he made to follow him.

“You liked it, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” there wasn’t any sense in lying to him.

“Then why not do it again?” He cocked his head. “You want to. I want to. It’s not like I’m asking to be your exclusive boyfriend or something. That’s for regular people. We’re not regular people.”

“I try my best to be,” Martin licked his lips, holding the bundle of clothes over his nakedness. “You should get home, wherever home is, before it starts to rain any harder. Nothing worse than a wet vampire, you know?”

Tobias sighed, pressing his hand against the barrier. He gave a slight grimace, “One last kiss before I go?”

“Good night ,Tobias,” He reached for the door.

“Martin?”

He met the vampire’s eyes.

“Tomorrow?” The lack of answer made him sigh. “The next day then? Don’t just say no. I…we…there’s something there. I know it’s not just me feeling that.” He leaned in as close as he could, and spoke in a loud whisper, “Something special; something right. Dirty, but right.”

“Good night, Tobias,” Martin repeated. He heard the vampire curse after the door clicked shut. He stayed out there for a few minute or so more, before he disappeared from the porch. Martin sighed, and made his way to the bathroom. He was in need of a good, hot shower to wash away the mixture of lust and disgust that was suddenly welling up inside.


Martin figured he should have known that it wasn’t over. Later, during the full moon, he could sense the vampire’s presence somewhere nearby. Rather than seek him out, he tried to stay a few steps in front of him until the early morning hours when he crept up the steps to sleep off the rest of the change on the rug on the porch. He was just starting to fall asleep, his head settling on his paws when he felt arms wrap around him. He snorted, but didn’t pull away. The long fingers stroked his fur, and he had to admit that it felt good. He let his eyes continue to flutter closed.

When he woke up in the morning, the vampire was gone of course. He groaned, picking himself up from the rug. It was chilly, even in the summer morning, and he pulled himself up and scooted into the house. He flipped the switch on the coffee pot before making his way to the shower. By the time he emerged and had the hot cup of joe in his hand, he noticed the note tacked to the left-open door.

Love: Hated to leave you w/o speaking to you, but dawn calls. Will call on you again, tonight. –T.

Martin sighed, taking the note from the door. He held it over the trash can before shaking his head and throwing it down on the counter top. For a guy he had only met, officially, twice, he was having a hard time getting him the fuck out of his head… He was suddenly very glad that he was going Lone Wolf. He could just imagine how a pack leader would take the news that he was getting involved, albeit inadvertently, with a vampire.

He poured the rest of the coffee into a thermos and picked up his orange safety vest from where he’d tossed it over one of the kitchen chairs the day before. Time for work –and getting that damn vamp out of mind.

JJJ Ranch Short Story #2

NOTE: YOU MUST READ SS#1 (below) OR THIS WILL BE VERY CONFUSING! (Also, sorry for the poor layout. C-P sucks!)

Royal woke up to the sound of rain pounding against his bedroom window. He groaned and reached across the bed –coming up empty handed. He’d forgotten. Even two months later, he still forgot. He shifted uncomfortably, pulling himself up in bed. The plastic cast was probably more comfortable than the conventional plaster, but it didn’t mean that it was any less annoying. It was hindering everything –he wanted anything to get away from the thoughts of the car wreck, but since all he could do was hobble around the house, it was like that was he could think about.
“Royal, are you awake?”
“In the bedroom, Patrick,” he called back. He slid his legs to the side of the bed and pulled himself up to his feet.
“Do you need help?” Patrick appeared in the doorway.
“No, I’m fine,” he shook his head. “Thank you.”
“Want me to turn the shower on for you?”
“I’ve got it, Patrick. Don’t baby me.”
“Sorry, sorry,” Patrick put up his hands defensively. “I’m just trying to help.”
Royal sighed, “I know, but I’m fine, really.”
“I’ll go make breakfast –anything you got a hankering for?”
“No, anything is fine,” Royal pushed himself to his feet. His leg felt heavy and the boot clunked as he approached the closet. He was just starting to be able to put weight back on the leg, but he wasn’t anywhere close to being able to get back outside. He pulled out a stack of fresh clothes and went to the shower.
After he had pulled on fresh clothes, he clunked along back into the kitchen and took a seat at the table. Patrick was just starting to pour measures of batter onto the hot griddle. It sizzled and popped and the smell of fresh pancakes filled the kitchen.
“Smells good,” he reached down, rubbing his knee. “You’re better a cook then you ever let on.”
“Well, I’m getting plenty of practice now,” Patrick tossed him a grin over his shoulder.
“How are things going out there?”
“Fine,” Patrick shrugged. “Too much rain to get anything done today, but I’m going to try and tinker with the baler –it keeps making a weird grinding sound.”
“You want some help? I’m pretty sure I can handle sitting out there and telling you what to do.”
“It’s all right, Kentucky is going to help me.”
Royal held back a sigh, giving a little nod, “Okay. Where are the dogs?”
“In the laundry room, I just fed them.”
“Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me,” Patrick shook his head. He flipped a few finished pancakes onto a plate with a rasher of bacon and a fried egg before bringing it over to Royal with a fork. “What do you want to drink?”
“You don’t have to wait on me,” Royal started to move to get up. Patrick set a heavy hand on his shoulder.
“Royal, you’ve waited on me for years. It’s not a problem. What do you want to drink?”
“Just some milk, I guess.” Royal bit his tongue, shifting his legs under the table. He didn’t look up from the plate as Patrick set the glass in front of him. His hand hesitated over the jar of homemade strawberry jam before shifting for the bottle of Mrs. Butterworth.
“Royal, are you okay?” Patrick’s hands rest on his shoulders. “—And I’m not asking about your leg. I’m talking about you, up here,” He tapped the top of his head.
“I’m fine, Patrick.”
“You know, we…we haven’t talked about him. What happened.”
“I flipped the truck, he got thrown through the fucking windshield and he died,” Royal’s voice wasn’t at all bitter as he cut into the stack of pancakes –just matter-of-fact. “What is there to talk about?”
Patrick’s hands slid down his arms, “Okay, you aren’t ready yet, I get it. I wouldn’t be either.” He stepped back towards the stove to finish fixing his own plate.
Royal quietly stabbed at his own food, putting very little of it into his mouth. He just kind of shuffled the pieces around his plate until Patrick sat down across from him.
“Stop playing with it and eat,” Patrick’s voice held just the slightest note of warning. “You hardly ate anything all week –and don’t even dare try to tell me you aren’t hungry.”
Royal sucked in a breath, shoving a fork full into his mouth. It was really good. He wondered if he had made them from scratch or used a box. He glanced over at the counter to see if he could tell, but all he could see was the mixing bowl.
“It’s from scratch,” Patrick could tell what he was thinking. “You taught me how to make them, Royal.”
Royal felt the flush rise in his cheeks. “I didn’t say anything.”
“But you were thinking it,” Patrick didn’t hesitate before cracking open the jar of homemade preserves.
Royal closed his mouth around another forkful to avoid saying anything else. Hoshi wandered in from the laundry room and came to lay his head on Royal’s thigh. He reached down, running his hand across the top of the dog’s head. He wondered how much Hoshi and the girls could really understand about what happened –if they understood at all. Did they even realize that he was gone?
When they were finished, Patrick cleared their plates to the sink and started washing up. Royal lifted himself up out of the chair and Hoshi promptly pushed him back into it. Even he knew that there wasn’t anywhere else he needed to be.
“Hoshi,” Royal sighed. He patted his head. Hoshi snorted, pressing his paws onto Royal’s good side and lapping at his face. “Hoshi, down.”
“He just wants to make you feel better,” Patrick picked up the dish towel, leaning against the counter as he dried his mixing bowl. “C’mere Hosh –you want a treat?”
Hoshi looked between the two of them, but chose to stay close to Royal. He sank back down on the floor and lay down at his feet.
“Do you need anything before I go out?” Patrick finished stacking up the dishes.
“No, I’ll probably just watch some TV or something.”
“Do you want to come out and help me? I can send Kentucky home.”
“No, it’s too wet out,” Royal shook his head.
“Do you want to go out later,” Patrick knelt down next to his chair. “We can go out and eat at the diner. I can see if Jer and Dan want to come with. Or, I could invite them over here for pizzas with the girls, maybe play some poker?” He reached up, brushing Royal’s hair out of his face. It was still a little damp from his shower and it was past due for a hair cut.
“I don’t want to see them,” Royal shook his head.
“They’re your friends –family,” Patrick reminded him. “And they’ve been calling practically six times a day trying to get you to talk to them.”
“And I won’t talk to them today either,” Royal shook his head.
Patrick let out a slow sigh, standing back up, “Fine, be that way.” He stopped short of smacking the stubborn man upside the head. He stepped out onto the porch, pulling his hat down over his eyes and shrugging into a thin zip-up and then pulling a poncho over his head for the trip to the barn. “I’ll be in around noon for lunch.”
Royal didn’t reply, reaching down to let Hoshi lick his fingers. Patrick sighed again, a little more loudly this time, letting the screen door slap behind him. Royal let his eyes trail to the porch. Once he was sure Patrick wasn’t coming back into the house for anything, he pushed up from the table and hobbled into the office and pulled out his drawing pad.

“I need to go to the store,” Royal spoke up as Patrick set a glass of coke in front of him and a roast beef sandwich on wheat.
“What do you need? I can pick it up when I go to the supply store.”
“I’d really like to get it myself,” Royal fidgeted. Patrick didn’t know about his project, and he didn’t want him to see it until it was done.
Patrick nodded, “All right, fine. Where do you need to go?”
“Art supply store –Michaels would be fine.”
Patrick didn’t seem fazed, “Okay, we can go after you eat that sandwich –the whole thing.”
Royal nodded, “Okay.” He picked up the sandwich, taking a bite. He didn’t like cold roast beef but was surprised to find that Patrick had warmed it up for him. It was good and he didn’t have a problem getting it down. He finished the glass of coke and then waited for Patrick to finish his salad.
“Let me go wash up,” Patrick took his plate and set it in the sink to wash later with the dinner dishes. “I’ll come help you to the car in a few minutes –do you want your crutches?”
“No, I’m fine, just pull the truck up to door so the boot doesn’t get muddy,” Royal pushed back his chair to go get his jacket and wallet.
“All right, I’ll be back in a minute,” Patrick disappeared up the stairs to the bathroom. He washed his hands, scrubbed his face clean, and pulled on a pair of clean jeans and a dark t-shirt. He tromped back down the stairs where Royal had pulled on his jacket and a sneaker. He shifted in the doorway of the porch, looking out at the rain.
“Ready?” Patrick put a hand on his back.
“Yeah.”
“I’ll go get the truck,” Patrick squeezed past him. A few minutes later they were situated in the truck and on their way. Patrick tried to ignore the way Royal’s fingers tightened against his seatbelt, making sure it was secure before whitening his knuckles, gripping the edge of the seat.
“So what do you need from Michaels?” Patrick shifted a glance at him. Royal was staring out the window.
“A couple sketch pads, some new pencils. Not a lot.”
“Are you drawing again?” Patrick knew he’d dabbled with art in college before ultimately choosing agriculture.
“Maybe.”
Patrick held a breath and counted to ten before letting it out. “That’s good, I’m glad you’ve found something to keep yourself busy.”
Royal hummed.
“You know, if you wanted to…we could stop at Best Buy or something. We could get you a Wacom tablet and some software –you could edit it easier too.”
“I like doing it this way –besides, it’s just for me, so what does it matter how I do it?”
“It doesn’t, I suppose,” Patrick reached across the seat, pressing his hand on top of Royal’s. “Don’t be so tense, it’s not good for you.”
“Please keep your hands on the steering wheel,” Royal pulled his hand away into his lap.
“Sorry,” Patrick returned both hands to the steering wheel. They were quiet again until Royal cleared his throat.
“Maybe we could stop by Best Buy anyway? I think I’ve got a couple gift cards to use.”
“Sure,” Patrick nodded. “They’re right next door to each other, practically.”
Royal reached over and turned on the radio to the country station to make the silence between them a little less awkward. The trip to the city wasn’t overly long, but it felt like an eternity. Nothing had ever really been the same since the summer the two of them had fooled around in the field. Jacob, as promised, had forgiven Royal. They’d been back on the right track –totally in love like a couple of teenagers who couldn’t keep their hands off of one another. They didn’t talk about the indiscretion, but all of them remembered it and probably thought about it frequently.
Then, back in January, on their way home from Dan and Jeremy’s weekly poker game, Royal had hit a patch of black ice, spun out the truck and flipped it three times. He’d managed to walk away with only some cuts and a broken leg. Jacob hadn’t put on his seat belt for the ride home and had been thrown through the windshield. The coroner had promised he’d died upon impact, but Royal still blamed himself completely for it. Half the ranch had been signed over to Royal years before, but after the funeral, they found out that Jacob had, instead of leaving his half to Royal, had signed it over to Patrick. He couldn’t tell whether this actually pleased or pissed Royal off, and he hadn’t said a thing about it.
“Do you need help down?”
“I’m not a fucking child, Patrick.”
“Did I say that you were?” Patrick countered. “I don’t want you to fall on your ass and break your other leg okay? You’re enough of a stubborn fucking asshole hobbling around on one broken leg, much less two.
Royal flushed red, “I’m sorry. I just…I hate being treated like an invalid.”
“I know you’re not a gimp, Royal, but just admit that you need help once in awhile, okay? The truck is two and a half feet off the ground and you can’t put full weight on your leg yet. Just wait a second okay.” Royal obliged, waiting for Patrick to move around the truck to help him down.
“Thank you,” Royal’s fingers dug into the sleeve of Patrick’s jacket. It had pretty much stopped raining.
“No problem,” Patrick slipped an arm around his waist. Royal leaned against him, holding him close to him for a moment. He leaned down, his lips brushing Patrick’s temple.
“Why’d you cut it?” His voice was soft. He reached up pulling his fingers through Patrick’s hair. It was considerably shorter, just past his shoulders. Hardly long enough to braid.
Patrick shrugged, “It seemed the right thing to do at the time.”
“When did you do it?” Royal couldn’t look at his face, his fingers trailing through the ends of the thick dark hair.
“About five minutes after I got the call, as soon as I found a pair of scissors.”
“I don’t remember,” Royal shook his head.
“I wish I didn’t.”
“C’mon, we should get your stuff,” Patrick nodded towards the store. He pushed the truck door closed and clicked the remote lock before shoving his keys into his pocket.
Royal slid his hand into Patrick’s jacket pocket as they entered the store. He’d barely left home in the last three months, except for doctor’s visits every week for physical therapy. It wasn’t crowded or busy really. It was an off-season for the store. Royal knew exactly where the drawing supplies were and withdrew from Patrick to pick up three of the mid-sized tablets and two boxes of pencils as well as a case of pens and a couple of large kneaded erasers.
“Do you want anything else?” Patrick offered.
“I don’t think so,” Royal shook his head. “This is enough for now.”
“Okay,” Patrick linked his fingers with Royal’s as they made for the cash register. The line was longer than he anticipated and there seemed to be only one cashier on duty. He didn’t mind though; he was glad Royal was letting him get close to him for once. “You going to tell me what you’re working on?” He nodded towards the supplies.
Royal took a deep breath, “No.”
“All right then…”
“It’s just a comic,” Royal shrugged. “You can’t read it.”
“I didn’t ask to read it,” Patrick chided.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I mean…you can’t read it until it’s finished.”
“Okay,” Patrick nodded. Royal’s fingers tightened around his.
“Its…my own personal therapy, okay?”
“I understand, Royal. I won’t push you about it.”
Royal hummed, finally stepping up to the cash register. He let go of Patrick’s hand to lay his down his items. The cashier look frazzled and rung them up as quickly as she could. Royal paid with his debit card, his hand hovering for a moment over his previously joint credit card. He sucked in a breath, swiping the debit through the reader and punching in a PIN number.
“You still want to go to Best Buy?” Patrick let him slide his hand back into his after they exited the door.
“Sure,” Royal nodded.
“You want to put those in the truck and then we can walk over?” Patrick suggested.
“Um, sure. Can you put them in? I think I need to sit for a second.” Royal handed him the bag, sinking down on the edge of a concrete ledge along the edge of the store front.
“Okay,” Patrick nodded. He took the bag and walked quickly the misty rain to the truck. He tossed the bag carefully into the backseat of the cab before making his way back over to Royal. “Do you want some aspirin or something for your leg?”
“No, it doesn’t hurt that much.” Royal pushed himself back up onto his feet. “It’s really just kind of an annoyance.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, really, I’m fine Patrick.” Royal reached up, brushing Patrick’s hair out of his face. “You look pretty today.”
Patrick raised an eyebrow, “Pretty? Thanks.”
Royal smiled, “You know what I mean.”
“Don’t do this today, Royal,” Patrick shook his head. He slid his arm into his boss’s and steered him next door to the Best Buy. “What are you looking for? Maybe we should get a couple movies? Or a video game –it’s been awhile since we played any video games.”
“I liked your idea about the Wacom tablet,” Royal admitted. “I still want to draw that freehand, but…for another project, just to play with.”
“Okay,” Patrick nodded. They pushed through the doors and headed for the back of the store to computers. They found the tablets situated near the mice. Royal checked out the specs while Patrick went to look at movies. He selected the second cheapest model –no sense in spending a lot of money on something he wasn’t sure he even knew how to use yet. He didn’t bother looking at software –it came with something basic enough to play with. He stuck the box under his arm and hobbled over to find Patrick.
“Anything good?”
“Depends on what you mean by ‘good’,” Patrick looked up at him. “You find something?”
“Something good enough to mess around with a bit,” Royal nodded. “Did you want anything?”
“No,” Patrick shook his head. “We came here for you.”
Royal gave a jerky nod, linking their arms together again, “C’mon, let’s get home.”
“You going to stop being paranoid?” Patrick asked. “And don’t pretend like you aren’t. I won’t let it happen again.” He glanced up at Royal. “You’re safe with me.”
Royal brushed hair out of his eyes. It really was getting too long. “I know that.”
They checked out quickly and made their way back out to the truck. Patrick helped him in without asking for permission and Royal pulled his seatbelt tight as Patrick got into the driver’s side. He rested his hand in the middle of the bench seat and waited for Patrick to lace their fingers together once they were on the road home.
“I have to stop at the supply store,” Patrick reminded him. “Do you want to pick something up for dinner?”
“No,” Royal shook his head.
“Are you sure? We can stop at the diner. I’ll have Wilhelmina wrap us up something for later.”
“If that’s what you want,” Royal shifted his gaze out the window. “It doesn’t matter to me.”
“All right,” Patrick nodded. He pulled his hand out of Royal’s as it started to rain again. He flipped on the windshield wipers and his headlights. Royal turned the radio on again as they drove back to Grossling. Patrick pulled the truck up to the feed supply store. He disappeared inside for a few minutes, placing their feed order for the next week and paying up on their bill. He was back in the truck in fifteen minutes and he tried to keep himself from taking a peek at the sketch that Royal had started to amuse himself while he was in the store.
“Any problems?” Royal wasn’t actively hiding the sketch, but he wasn’t showing it off either. He flipped the book closed and stuck his pencil into the binding.
“Nope,” Patrick shook his head. He didn’t ask again, steering the truck towards the local diner. He parked in front and cut the engine to run inside. “You want anything special?”
Royal shook his head. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Royal,” Patrick reached up, turning him forcibly to look at him. “What do you want? Something I can’t cook.”
“Umm,” Royal pulled free and reached down to rub his knee. “Country Fried Steak dinner.”
“Okay, I’ll be back in a minute. Keep drawing,” He trailed his hand down his shoulder, lingering for a moment at his fingers. Royal waited until Patrick had entered the diner before opening up the sketch pad again. His pencil sketched out the frame before he started working on drawing the familiar highway where he’d found Patrick.

Patrick shifted on the couch uncomfortably. He’d fallen asleep after dinner watching some sitcom repeat. He thought that Royal had joined him, but a glance at the clock told him that the older man had probably gone to bed. He stretched his arms over his head, stumbling out of the living room. He was about to head up the stairs when he noticed the light on in the office.
“Royal, you still awake?” He knocked on the door before pushing it open. Royal was asleep at the desk, pencil still dangling from his fingers. There were three sketchbooks stacked on the corner of the desk, labeled only with numbers. The new ones he had bought were tossed on the chair in front of the desk. Patrick moved quietly into the room, glancing down at the sketch pad in front of Royal. He smiled, recognizing the image of the kitchen and Hoshi sleeping under the table. He leaned over to read the text.
“Patrick entered our lives quickly. He was cute, gawky, and uncomfortable. We asked only the questions we had to and I think he appreciated that. Like most things that wander onto JJJ Ranch, he’s never left.”
“Royal?” He leaned away from the sketch, putting his hand on his shoulder. Royal jerked, blinking his eyes.
“Wha?”
“You fell asleep,” Patrick leaned against the edge of the desk. “It’s late, you should get into bed.”
Royal nodded, “Right.”
“Do you need anything?”
“No, thank you for waking me up,” Royal set down his pencil in the middle of the sketch and pushed back his chair. “My neck is going to be cricked in the morning.”
“Here,” Patrick stopped him. He reached up and kneaded his fingers on the back of Royal’s neck in little circles. Royal’s breath caught in his throat and his head tipped down. “Is that better?”
“Yes.” Royal edged closer to him pressing his knees between the Indian’s. “…Patrick?”
“Hmm?” His fingers slid to Royal’s collar bone.
“Is it inevitable?”
“Is what inevitable?” Patrick narrowed his eyes in curiosity.
“The two of us.”
“I don’t think I know what you mean.”
“Us –together. Is it inevitable now that…now that he’s gone?”
“I don’t know,” Patrick shook his head. “Isn’t it a little soon for that?”
“Exactly –isn’t it too soon for me to…to even think about it,” Royal’s breath was warm against Patrick’s neck. “It’s only been three months. We were together for thirteen years. But, every time I look at you, I remember what it was like at the beginning.” He looked up, pulling Patrick’s hair through his fingers.
“Royal, c’mon, you’re tired.”
“I need you to read this,” Royal pulled free. He picked up the labeled sketch books and held them out to him. “They’re rough, I started after the accident –after the funeral. The beginning is very rough, I haven’t drawn like this since…I can’t even remember.”
“I don’t need to read this, this is for you,” Patrick shook his head. He wasn’t sure what was inside the sketch books, but if it was anything like what was on the desk…
“Please. If you don’t read it, no one else will. I don’t have anyone else to share it with.”
Patrick nodded, “Okay.” The books felt cold in his hand as he took them. He pressed them to his chest. “I’ll read them.”
Royal nodded, “I’m going to bed then. Good night.”
“Good night, Royal.” Patrick stood back up, watching him head for the stairs. The boot clunked its way up the carpet. He didn’t move until he heard the bedroom door close behind him. He sighed, looking down at the cover of the first sketchbook before making his way to the kitchen. Hoshi looked up at him from his spot on the rug in front of the stove. “We’re in for a long night, Hoshi.” He flipped the switch on the coffee pot and sat down at the table to flip open the first book.

“Royal?”
“Hrm?” Royal groaned. He cracked an eye to look at the clock. 4 AM. “What?”
“I finished.”
Grumble grumble.
“Royal, that was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever…” Patrick was still brushing tears off his face. “Jacob would be so proud of you.”
“Ugh,” Royal coaxed himself onto his side. “You really spent the last five hours reading that?”
“Yes, once I started, I couldn’t stop,” Patrick sank down onto the bed next to him. “Royal, I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“That this happened.”
Royal sighed. Patrick obviously wasn’t going to let him go back to sleep. He shifted back onto his back, “Patrick, I didn’t give it to you because I wanted to discuss it afterwards. I just wanted someone to read it.”
“I know, I just…I wanted to tell you that I loved it.”
“Thanks.” Royal squeezed Patrick’s thigh. “I’m glad.”
“About earlier…you asked if it was too soon.”
Royal hummed. His eyes had drifted closed again, but he was pretty awake now.
“Too soon for what?”
Royal sighed through his nose, “Patrick…you know what you do to me.”
“We never talked about that summer –that day,” Patrick shook his head. “I thought we just shoved it under the rug; forgot about it.”
“I never forgot about it,” Royal’s eyes drifted back open. “Jacob knew.” He pushed himself up, dragging his cast up the mattress. He winced as he turned on the bedside lamp and reached into the drawer. He pulled out a worn looking envelope with his name on it and handed it to Patrick. “I found this after.”
Patrick’s hands were shaky as he pulled out the single sheet of paper. Jacob’s handwriting was easily recognizable even though the letter wasn’t signed –it didn’t need to be.
Royal, it’s cliché, but if you’re reading this, chances are I’m gone. I’m not sure how long it will take you find this, and I’m not sure what all there will be for me to have to say when the time comes, so I’ll keep it to the most important thing. You probably know by now that I left my half of the ranch to Patrick instead of you. I hope you’re not upset about that. But there’s a reason for it –I want you two to take care of one another. I don’t know what would have happened that day if you hadn’t gone to see if he was leaving or if he hadn’t told you to go back to me. He always wanted what was best for the two of us, so now I want what’s best for the two of you. I know you love him, maybe in a different way than how you loved me, but it’s there, and with Patrick, you’ll never have to worry about him leaving you. He’s loyal, he’s steady, and he loves you.
“So he gave his blessing, basically?”
“That’s how I interpreted it.”
“Is it true? Do you…do you love me?”
“Of course,” Royal reached over, brushing a lock of hair behind Patrick’s ear. “Different then what it was with Jacob, but…yes, I love you.”
Patrick refolded the letter and put it back in the envelope. The drawer slid closed easily and he reached up to turn the lamp back off, casting the room into darkness.
“Patrick?”
“Shh,” Patrick shook his head. He slid onto the bed, careful of Royal’s leg as he straddled his hips. His hair wasn’t long enough to cocoon their faces, but it fell over both of them as he kissed him. Royal’s hands went to his hips, his fingers dipping underneath the waistband of his worn flannel PJ bottoms. It had been almost four years since those ten minutes in the back of the truck, but he could still remember every inch his fingers had touched. Patrick reached down, pulling Royal’s hands away, lacing fingers with him. “Not yet.”
“Why not?” Royal was breathing heavily as Patrick shifted back onto his heels.
“Royal, it’s only been three months. I don’t want you to jump into anything. Plus, your leg, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“It’s fine,” Royal assured him. “And you won’t hurt me, just stay exactly where you are.”
“Not now,” Patrick was adamant. “Later. Right now, I just want to kiss you.”
“Okay but, that’s really only going to hold me over for so long,” Royal grinned.
“I know,” Patrick grinned. He ran his fingers across Royal’s scruffy cheeks. “And any other night, I might say go for it, but…I haven’t slept at all.”
“Well then, Royal reached across the bed, pulling back the covers on the empty side of the bed. “Crawl in.”
Patrick opened his mouth to protest but Royal stopped him, wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him next to him in bed. “Royal, be careful!”
“Patrick, I broke my leg. I didn’t get shot or crack any ribs,” Royal sighed. “And aside from the stupid cast and dull throbbing reminder every so often, I’m fine –really.” He shifted back down under the covers, pulling them up over them. “Get some sleep.”
Patrick nodded. He slid closer across the cotton sheets to Royal’s side, linking their fingers together. Royal didn’t let himself drift back to sleep until he felt Patrick relax next to him.

JJJ Ranch: Short Story #1

Patrick Duncan’s truck knew every bump and pothole on the way to the Triple J ranch. The back end was filled with barbed wire and fence posts that lurched as the tires moved from pavement to gravel down the driveway of the ranch owned by his surrogate parents –Royal Greves and Jacob Trenton. He’d gone to college a few hours away on scholarships gotten a degree in Agriculture and then come back to work full-time at the Triple J. Since Theresa and Kennedy had moved closer to the older Greves, he’d moved into the old Foreman’s house and nothing much else had really changed.
He was twenty-three now. His hair was still pulled back into the simple braid, although it was much longer now, trailing almost all the way down to his butt. He was still as slim and defined as that wiry teenager that Royal had taken pity on at the side of the road that rainy August day seven year ago. The idea of leaving had entered his head a few times over those years, but he’d never done it, and they’d never asked him about it. It was just assumed that he was staying, like most everything that wandered onto the Triple J.
“Hey,” Royal was playing fetching with Hoshi and Sophia in the dirt between the houses. “You have any problems with the pick-up?”
“Nope,” Patrick slid out of the truck, shoving his keys into his pocket. “Marcy said to stop by later this week with the rest of the payment.”
“Good, good,” Royal nodded. He pitched the ball a little farther, sending the dogs scampering towards the barn. “Why don’t you take a break and get some lunch –there’s some leftovers in the house if you’re interested.”
“Thanks, but I’m okay,” Patrick pulled down the tailgate and started transferring the materials to the beat-up farm truck to take them out into the field. “I’ll get started later. Kentucky and I wanted to get repairs done quick as possible; he wants to get home before six tonight or the wife is going to be pissed.”
“All right, but don’t forget to eat. You’re too skinny,” Royal gave him a grin. He pitched the ball one more time before moving to help him with the transfer.
“You only say that ‘cause you’ve certainly started packing on the pounds,” Patrick patted Royal’s stomach. “Maybe you need to start cutting back on the butter, huh?”
“Shut up,” Royal stuck out his tongue. “You’re cheeky for a kid…”
Patrick shrugged and let the conversation drop, focusing on moving the heavy materials. Once they had finished, he slapped the back of the trucks tailgates closed again, and wiped his arm across his forehead. Even with his hair pulled back in the long braid, he was hot.
“So, hot dates lately?” Royal took the ball that Hoshi was pushing into his leg, trying to get him to play again. “We haven’t seen you around the last couple of days.”
“Hardly,” Patrick rolled his eyes. “Just earning my keep around here.”
“You shouldn’t work so hard,” Royal shook his head, the ball arcing toward the barn again.
“Gotta pay you guys back some how.”
“Well, you’ve got as much time as you need to do that; not that we’re asking you to,” Royal reminded him. “Try and relax once in awhile. Get laid; you could use it.”
Patrick rolled his eyes, “Well, I think Grossling is all out of gay guys, so…”
“There’s other places to meet people, men. Besides, I heard Derek Zimmerman is back in town.”
“The last person I want to see is Derek Zimmerman,” Patrick scoffed. “He was fun for about five minutes in high school and I doubt he’s changed very much.”
“No one said you had to fall in love; just…have some fun.”
Patrick hummed, adjusting his hat, “Well, I don’t think I’m going to have fun with a little frat boy like Derek, Royal. But, your suggestion has been heard.”
“That’s all I ask, I suppose.” Royal lifted up his shirt and wiped the sweat off his brow. Patrick averted his eyes, feeling the familiar attraction he felt every time he got a look at Royal’s goods –he found Jacob attractive too, but not nearly as much as Royal. Maybe his surrogate-father was right: he really did need to get laid, and soon. “Come in for dinner around six. I’m making fried chicken.”
“Okay,” Patrick agreed. “I better get out to the fence. Kentucky is probably waiting for me.”
“All right. Be careful –don’t forget your gloves.”
“I won’t,” Patrick sighed. Royal was a good father figure; it was a shame he and Jacob hadn’t gone through the motions of actually raising a child.
Royal and Hoshi walked back toward the house and Patrick climbed into the old truck to make his way out to the field. For once, he wasn’t looking forward to getting his hands dirty. Being out in the open, even with a partner, gave him way too much time to daydream and think…which, when you haven’t had sex in over a year, can get a little too vivid…

“How’d the fencing go?” Royal was just setting the table as Patrick entered the main house by the front door. He took off his hat, hanging it up on a peg before entering the kitchen.
“Good, we finished the west side and got about half-way through the north-side,” he smoothed his palm over the top of his head, smoothing his hair. His braid swished as he took a seat in his usual place at the table. “Where’s Jacob?” He noticed that Royal was only setting two places at the table.
He noticed the little tic in Royal’s jaw as he shrugged, “He’s probably in the office, playing WoW or something.”
“…Are you guys okay?” Patrick had seen them through a few ups-and-downs over the last few years, but it had never lasted very long. Every time he heard them fight –usually over something trivial, he couldn’t help but get this huge ball of tension in his stomach.
“Sure,” Royal nodded. “We’re fine, just…” he trailed off, moving dishes from the counter to the table –a plate of perfectly fried chicken, mashed potatoes, brown gravy, biscuits, and a salad. “You don’t want to hear about our marital problems.”
“I wouldn’t, but you’re not married, so it’s OK,” Patrick gave him a cocky grin. “Really, I’m old enough to take it –I’m not your kid, you can dump your issues on me.”
Royal sighed, sliding into the seat across from him, “I think we’re just…growing apart. Not that we don’t love each other, just that…we need something fresh.”
Patrick gave a little nod, starting to fill up his plate, “Maybe it’s time to take a vacation –you guys have been talking about it. You’ve only been together for ten years; it’s too early to split up.”
Royal smirked, shaking his head, “Smartass. And besides, we can’t afford a vacation right now.”
“Everything still good in the bedroom?”
“Honestly, we haven’t done anything but sleep in there in about three months.”
“What about the living room?”
Royal gave a little chuckle, shaking his head, “Nope, nothing going on in there either.”
“Shit, that’s your favorite spot.”
“Yeah, I know.”
They were quiet while they finished loading up their plates. Patrick took a few bites before he spoke up again. “You think you’re just, I don’t know, bored?”
“Maybe,” Royal shrugged, sampling a bit himself. “We’ve been together ten years, of course we’re a little bored. We know each other’s ins-and-outs. It’s just, how do you get…unbored? Other couples would be having kids, which we don’t really want, or have work or projects, things to that keep them separately grounded. We’ve only got each other, this ranch, this house. And lately, this house feels like a prison.”
“That’s nice,” Jacob entered the kitchen. “Love you too, Babe.” He didn’t even look at the table before walking to the fridge and taking out a beer.
“You can’t walk into the middle of a conversation, Jacob,” Royal followed him with his eyes, soaking up the grey flannel pants and red t-shirt. Jacob’s feet were bare, padding softly on the tile.
“I don’t have to hear the whole conversation to know you’re bitching about me again,” He cracked the top of the beer, flipping the cap onto the counter.
“Would you like some dinner? I figured you were playing your game.”
“I’m not hungry,” Jacob took a short pull from the longneck, leaning against the countertop.
Patrick shifted uncomfortably in his chair. His braid pulled over his shoulder, and he turned the end around in his fingers, in his lap. He could sense the tension in the air, and it was like he was breathing it in, letting it settle in his lungs and just press down on top of him.
“Well, unless you’re just going to stand there and stare us, why don’t you sit down at least?” Royal suggested.
“No, I’m busy –doing actual work, thanks. My life isn’t all fun and games as you seem to think it is,” Jacob pushed up from where he leaned. “Patrick, can you come in the office when you’re done eating?”
“Sure,” Patrick nodded. The weight on his chest just got heavier. “What do you need?”
“Just some tax information; I’m re-doing the payroll info in a new program and I think I misplaced some of your information.”
Patrick nodded. At least he wasn’t getting fired.
Jacob didn’t say anything else, wandering back out of the kitchen. Even once he was gone, the pressure didn’t go away. Royal was stabbing his fork into his chicken, not really looking at him when he cleared his throat.
“I don’t like it when you guys fight; it never seems right. It makes me anxious,” he admitted.
“Don’t let it worry you,” Royal promised. “We’ve fought before and we always get through it.”
“I know,” Patrick nodded. “But like you said, you guys are here all the time. Maybe you just need some time apart?”
“Maybe,” Royal nodded.
“If you need some space, I’ve got extra room,” he nodded towards the general direction of the Foreman’s House across the yard. “A couple nights apart might do you some good.”
“I think we need to have a serious talk before we go quite that far, but thank you for the offer.”
“Any time,” Patrick shrugged.
Royal pushed his plate away and took a drink of his water before pushing up from the table. “You can go ahead and leave your plate when you’re done; I’ll take care of it.”
“Where are you going?”
“Gotta go feed the cats and check on the new babies,” Royal washed his hands at the sink and dried them on a dish towel. “Don’t forget about Jacob.”
“I won’t,” Patrick could still feel that pressure on his chest. He hoped this would all blow over soon; he hated this feeling.
Royal left the kitchen off the back porch and disappeared towards the barn. Patrick shoveled the rest of his food into his mouth before pushing up from the table. He took his and Royal’s plates to the sink, and found room in the fridge for the leftovers before making his way into the office. He knocked on the doorframe and Jacob looked up from the computer screen.
“Hey,” Jacob gave him a smile and waved him in. “Sorry about earlier…”
“It’s okay,” Patrick took a seat in the chair across from the desk. “What did you need for my tax info?”
“Just fill this out –it’s easier to plug it in off the sheet,” He handed him a clipboard and a pen. “Is he still pissed?” He nodded towards the kitchen.
“I don’t think he’s pissed; I think he’s upset, but I can’t really say what’s bothering him,” Patrick started plugging in information on the sheet. “You want to give me your two-cents?”
Jacob shrugged, “He’s right –we’re just tired of being together, I guess.”
“Tired of being together or of each other?”
“Both maybe –he’s right, this house is a prison and we’ve both signed on for a life sentence.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way,” Patrick shrugged. “Maybe you should, I don’t know, take a break. Re-access your relationship, see if you can withstand another ten years together.”
“I think we should just start fucking other people, that’d take off some of the sexual tension at least,” Jacob raked his fingers through his hair. “But you don’t want to hear about that.”
Patrick gave a little laugh, shaking his head, “Well, I’m not surprised –but, if you both want to do it, why aren’t you? I remember a time when you guys could barely keep your hands off one another, and now…it’s like, every time I see you, it’s just…hostile.”
“I’m sorry,” Jacob shook his head. “I guess a lot of it is just time –whenever I want to do it, he’s not interested, when he wants to do it, I’m not interested. It used to be easy to cajole a quick fuck out of one another, but…now it’s like been-there-done-that. I’m not saying I don’t love him, I do –just as much if not more then when we met. I just…you get sick of sleeping next to the same person every single night.”
“I wouldn’t know that problem,” Patrick shook his head. “I envy you guys; I wish I could feel the way you do right now.”
“Don’t,” Jacob shook his head. “It was fun for the first seven years. The last three…not so much fun.”
“I’d give anything to even keep someone for that long,” Patrick handed him back the completed clipboard. “You guys have something special; rivaled only by your brother and Dan. You’ll work it out.” He pushed up from the chair and flipped his braid back over his shoulder. “If either one of you needs space, and I already told Royal this, I’ve got plenty of room at my place. Maybe a couple days apart would do you guys some good? Talk it over –don’t argue, but talk it over.” He shoved his hands into his pockets before striding out of the office. He was sticking his nose where it didn’t belong, but sometimes that was what those two needed.
Royal leaned in the doorway to the office after he saw Patrick go back to his place. He’d watched him, toss his hat down onto the kitchen counter and pull a can of soda out of the fridge before plopping down on the couch, through the window. Jacob glanced up at him from where he was filling in the missing information from Patrick’s tax information.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” he repeated. He looked away as Royal took the seat that Patrick had vacated.
The silence between them spoke volumes. Love, torment, pain, boredom, even panic, and especially worry. Neither was ready to call to quits, but at the same time…
“I’m sorry for earlier,” Jacob finally pushed away from the computer. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
Royal shook his head, “You weren’t meant to hear that; I would have snapped too.”
“But you were right; I don’t like hearing it, but…this house is a prison,” Jacob folded his hands behind his head. “I don’t know what to do, Royal. I don’t know what to say.”
“I don’t know either. If there were anything, I’d do it in a heartbeat,” Royal assured him. He leaned forward, leaning his elbows on his knees. “But, babe, I just…I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“I know,” Jacob nodded.
“I love you, you know that. The last thing I want in the world is to call this over, but…lately, it feels like that’s the only option left.”
“I don’t want to end it either,” Jacob stood up, moving around the desk to lean in front of his long-time lover. “So, let’s not say that.”
“Then what do you want, Jacob?”
“I don’t know,” he shook his head. “Just…a break. Some time apart from being ‘us’. I don’t want you to leave, Royal. You are essential to everything that goes on around here. We said when we started that if anything happened, nothing else would change and I want to stand by that now.”
“I understand,” Royal nodded. “I agree. You’d crash and burn and if you tried to do this on your own now,” he smiled to let him know that he was joking.
“I’ll sleep in the guest room tonight,” Jacob reached out, running his hands through Royal’s hair. His fingers trailed across his temples and then down his cheek. He was just starting to get a little scruff around his jaw line that prickled at his fingers.
“You don’t have to do that,” Royal shook his head. He reached up, his fingers wrapping around Jacob’s wrist. He turned his face into his palm, pressing his lips against Jacob’s fingers. “Patrick offered me a place to crash, I’ll go over there.”
“You don’t have to,” Jacob shook his head. “We have room here.”
“I need to get out of the house,” Royal pushed up from the chair. He pressed his forehead against Jacob’s, looking down into his eyes. His fingers pressed to Jacob’s hips and he held him close. “Just for a little while.”
Jacob opened his mouth to say something, then promptly closed it again.
“What?” Royal pressed.
“I don’t want you to leave.”
“Babe,” Royal gave a small shake of his head. “I’m not leaving, I’m just going next door.”
Jacob’s eyes cast downward. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before he nodded, “Okay. If that’s what you want.”
“I’m just going to grab some clothes; I have to be up early in the morning,” he pressed his lips to Jacob’s temple. “Eat something, please?”
Jacob nodded, “Okay.”
“And don’t drink anymore tonight,” Royal chided. He tilted Jacob’s chin up, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “I know that’s your third one.”
Jacob gave a short nod, “I know.”
Royal kissed him again, a harder one this time, longer and a little lazier. When he broke it off, he brushed his thumb over Jacob’s lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll make you lunch,” he nuzzled Jacob’s neck, breathing in his smell. “And maybe…maybe things will look different.”
“I think it will take more than one night, Royal.”
“I know,” Royal sighed. He made himself take a step back and stop touching his now former (he supposed) lover. “I, uh, I’m just going to go grab some stuff and then I’ll be out of here, okay?”
Jacob nodded, sinking back onto the edge of the desk. He kept his eyes down as Royal exited the office and took the stairs to their bedroom. He let out the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding and rubbed his palms against his eyes, willing back the tears that were threatening to spill. He didn’t leave the office until he heard Royal leave a few minutes later. Then he left himself back in to the kitchen. Hoshi padded out of the laundry room to see what was up. He pushed his nose into Jacob’s leg and looked up expectantly at him.
Jacob gave him a smile, and reached down to pat his head, “C’mon Hoshi, we can curl up on the couch and watch TV.” He went to the fridge for one last beer before following through on the offer.

Patrick looked up from the book he’d started reading when he heard the three short raps on the door. No one ever knocked around here; ever. They just let themselves in. He was half-way to the door when it opened and Royal stuck his head inside.
“Hey, sorry –ah, your offer still stands, right?” He lifted up the small duffle he’d tossed some clothes and his toothbrush in.
“Of course,” Patrick nodded. “That was quick.”
“Yeah, well…” Royal shrugged. He set his bag down by the door and closed the door behind himself. “I’m a little confused about what just happened to be honest. I’m not sure if we’re still together, or just cooling off. Nothing was really decided.”
“I’m sorry,” Patrick gave him a brave smile. “You want a drink? You look like you could use one.”
“Why do you have alcohol? You don’t drink,” Royal teased.
“Yeah, but I know people who do. What do you want? Beer? Whiskey? Rum? Tequila?”
“I’m good, thank you,” Royal yawned, stretching his arms behind his head. Patrick turned his eyes upward as his shirt rose to expose a sliver of flat stomach. “I think I actually want to get some sleep.”
“Sure, the second bedroom is all made up,” Patrick nodded towards the stairs. “It’s kind of early though, isn’t it?”
“I’ve got to be up early in the morning.” Royal shook his head. “Kentucky has off, so I’ll be helping you out with the fencing.”
“Okay,” Patrick nodded. “I’ll see you in the morning then.”
“G’night –and thanks, for being understanding about this whole thing. I know, this is probably the last thing you want to be involved in.”
“I just want you guys to be happy again,” Patrick shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Any way I can help out.”
“You’re a great help,” Royal assured him. “Just keep being you, kid.” He pressed his palm to the top of Patrick’s head. He hesitated for a second before pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Don’t stay up too late; you’re working hard tomorrow.”
Patrick felt the familiar flush rise up his cheeks that he got every time Royal got close to him. “I won’t, I promise.” He felt like the gawky seventeen year old again.
“G’night,” Royal picked his bag up, hoisting it over his shoulder. Patrick watched him move up the stairs. Suddenly, he really felt like he could use a drink; which was ironic given that he’d never had alcohol in his entire life.
He heard the door to the extra bedroom upstairs close and he padded back into the living room, sitting back down on the couch. He sighed, pulling his braid over his shoulder and unwrapping the rubber band. He pulled his fingers through the braid, loosening his hair. It held the faintest of familiar weaves and he pulled his brush out of the side drawer to pull it through the ends before pulling his fingers all the way through it. He let it fall down around his shoulders, wrapping around his shoulders as he leaned back, resting his head on the squishy back of the couch. He’d sit down here long enough to let Royal fall asleep, then he’d try and catch some shut-eye himself.

“Sleep well?” Royal was in the kitchen making breakfast when Patrick rolled out of bed at seven AM. “Hope you don’t mind; I just took it upon myself to cook.”
Patrick shook his head, “No, it’s all right.” He went and poured himself a mug of coffee. He dumped in a spoonful of sugar and some vanilla-flavored creamer before taking a sip. His hair was still damp, making his shirt stick to his back. He set his mug down on the counter before reaching up to divide his hair into three parts. His hands moved of their own accord until he could wrap the band around the end. He flipped it back over his shoulder.
“You look good with your hair down,” Royal offered him a plate, stacked with pancakes, eggs, and a few pieces of bacon.
“Thanks; I’ve been thinking about chopping it off though. It’s almost getting too long for me to braid myself.”
“No, don’t do that,” Royal couldn’t help but reach out, pulling the braid through his fingers. “It suits you too much. “
Patrick felt the warmth rising up through his stomach. He could smell the farm on Royal –a mixture of dirt, hay, straw, and cow. He barely noticed it anymore, but so up-close-and-personal…it was possibly one of the best smells in the entire world.
“I hear that a lot,” he took a step back, setting the plate down on the table and taking a seat. He picked up a fork and took a first bite. “Oh man, this is good.”
Royal smiled, sitting down across from him with his own plate, “Nothing special.”
“When you live on my cooking, anything is spectacular,” Patrick rolled his eyes. “Instant Ramen, pasta, and the occasional pizza.”
“You know you can eat with us at the main house any time you want,” Royal reminded him.
“I know,” Patrick shrugged. He poured some syrup over the top of his pancakes before cutting into the stack.
“So, everyone is fed, horses are in the corral. Sam and Matthew are out cutting hay so we’re doing the rest of the fence ourselves today.”
“Okay,” Patrick nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”
They continued to eat in silence for a bit longer. Royal finished first, standing up as he drained the last of his glass of orange juice.
“I’ll meet you outside in five?” He carried his plate to the sink.
“Sure, let me clean up in here and I’ll be right out.” Patrick shoved the last piece of pancake into his mouth. Royal gave him a nod before putting his hat on and making his way out the door. Patrick moved quickly, scrubbing the plates and utensils they had used clean. Once he had put everything to dry in the dish drainer, he slapped on his own cap, and tromped down the porch steps towards the waiting truck. Royal was just securing the tool box into the back with the rest of the materials.
“Ready to go?” Royal slammed the tailgate shut.
“Yep,” Patrick tilted his hat back a bit, and shoved his well-used gloves into his back pocket. “Let’s get going.” He slid into the passenger side of the truck –it was no question: Royal would drive. Royal always drove.
They didn’t talk very much once they got to the end of the fence line where he and Kentucky had finished off the night before. They worked in a relative silence, just offering direction to each other once in awhile. After an hour or so of working, Patrick sighed, tossing down his wire cutter and stopping to take a drink of water from the large 2-quart cooler. The ice swished around in the cooler as he lifted the spigot to his lips.
“Taking a break already? Slacker,” Royal teased.
“I can’t help it; it’s getting hot out here,” Patrick took off his hat and brushed his arm across his forehead. “You want some?” He held out the cooler.
“Sure,” Royal pushed up from the ground, joining him by the tailgate. He sucked down a few gulps, and for once Patrick couldn’t tear his eyes away from the way a few drops spilled past his lips and down his jaw. Royal didn’t seem to notice, closing the spigot and setting the cooler back down on the tailgate. He wiped his forearm against his mouth before the droplets could trail down his throat. “…You okay?”
Patrick blinked, shaking his head, “Yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“Well,” Royal couldn’t stop the smirk. “You stare at me a lot, but uh…usually you turn away when I’m doing something really sexy.”
Patrick flushed. His mouth opened to reply, but he wasn’t sure what to say.
“It’s cute –I’ve always thought it was cute,” Royal assured him. He pulled his gloves off, shoving them into his back pocket. He shifted himself in front of Patrick, pushing the younger man into the tailgate of the truck. “I’ve always thought you were cute. Pretty, which isn’t something I usually go for.” He reached up, pulling Patrick’s braid over his shoulder. “And your hair…fuck, kid, your hair.”
Patrick’s mouth dropped open, not sure what to say.
“It’s been awhile, right?” Royal’s face was close, lips brushing his ear. “I mean, you don’t go out much, I’ve met every boy you’ve ever slept with, just about. I assume, anyway.”
“Royal, what are you doing?” Patrick’s was barely a whisper. His gloved hands tightened around the edge of the tailgate.
“Nothing,” Royal gave a little head shake. He moved his hands to Patrick’s waist.
Patrick licked his lips, “Royal, this doesn’t really feel like nothing.”
“What does it feel like then?”
“It feels like you want me to help you cheat on Jacob.”
“Hard to cheat on Jacob when we’re not exactly together, isn’t it?” Royal’s lips pressed to a spot just under his ear. Patrick bit his tongue, his head tilting back somewhat involuntarily. It was odd how he knew exactly the spot that made him go the most weak-kneed, right off the bat.
“But you didn’t break it off officially,” Patrick reminded him. “You love him.”
Royal hummed, “I do love him.” His fingers moved under the hem of Patrick’s t-shirt, feeling the definition of his abs. “And that won’t change.”
“Then why are you doing this –why are you pulling me in to it?” Patrick finally reached up, pushing his hands against Royal’s stomach.
“I’m sorry,” Royal shook his head a little harder. “You’re right, I shouldn’t do that to you.” He swallowed, taking a step back. “Maybe we should just get back to work.” This time it was Royal who averted his eyes, moving back toward the fence as he pulled his gloves back out of his pocket. “Sorry.”
Patrick bit his lip, pausing for a moment before pushing off the truck. He couldn’t look in Royal’s direction as he pulled up his tools again, getting back to work. The silence between them was uncomfortable; not something either was used to in each other’s company. Patrick kept playing the scene over and over in his head, trying to figure out why he’d put a stop to it. He’d wanted to know what it was like to be Royal since he was seventeen years old. He’d even slept with a few guys who looked like him, just to see what it would be like, but he’d never let himself dream that it would be possible to get a chance with the real thing.
But what was it that Jacob had said the night before? “I think we should start fucking other people.” Had they actually discussed it, agreed to an open relationship? Or did they have a fight about it and Jacob had fessed up to the idea? There were too many unanswered questions, and he didn’t have enough gall to ask them up front.
“C’mon,” Royal finally broke the silence around midday. “Let’s go get some lunch.”
“Sure.” Patrick nodded. He tossed their extra barbed wire into the back of the truck, making sure that none of the little bits got left in the tall grass for the cows to step on, or worse swallow. They repacked their tools, and Patrick could feel the warm rise up his arm every time their skin brushed in the shared area.
“Shit, Patrick, don’t make it weird between us now,” Royal sighed, feeling him flinch. “You know things are strained between Jacob and I right now. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” He sighed, stepping back, putting a few feet between them. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Patrick shook his head, “I don’t blame you or anything.” He gave him a hesitant smile, “I’m pretty hot.”
Royal shook his head, “Don’t tease me, kid. You have no idea how fast I could have you over the back of that truck.”
“I’ve got a pretty good idea,” Patrick shrugged. “But you won’t, no matter how much I tease, because…you’re faithful.” He shoved his gloves into his back pocket. “You wouldn’t do that to Jacob, not unless you had talked about it, which I doubt you did.”
“No,” Royal shook his head. “We didn’t talk about…other people. Just that we needed some separation.”
“Then until you do,” Patrick got up the gall to step up, looking Royal straight in the face, “I’m perfectly safe.”
“Don’t be so sure,” Royal’s fingers tightened around his jaw, nudging his face upward. “I don’t care too much about pleasing Jacob at the moment.” His lips brushed Patrick’s. It was subtle, but even Patrick could read the want in it. He sucked softly on Patrick’s bottom lip before breaking it off. “Jacob doesn’t make my decisions for me. I wouldn’t think twice about it, and I wouldn’t feel sorry about it afterwards.”
“Are you sure?”
Royal nodded, “Positive.”
“Then if it’s what you want, just do it,” Patrick shrugged. “I won’t say anything; won’t stop you.”
“It’s not any fun unless you want it too,” Royal’s fingers pulled at Patrick’s belt. “Don’t make it so easy to molest you.”
“Who says I don’t want it?” Patrick shrugged. “You obviously know how you make me feel. How you’ve always made me feel. You think this was all just a matter of time, right?”
“Shut up and stop asking for it,” Royal kissed him again, harder this time. His fingers linked into his belt loops, pulling him close. Patrick could feel the outline of his hard-on, pressing into his thigh. Patrick found himself lifted up onto the tailgate. He hit the toolbox and groaned. Royal reached up, shoving it skittering backwards into the truck. It fell over, making a loud metallic spilling sound, but the latch stayed firmly closed. Royal jerked him lower onto the back of the truck and Royal pulled his belt out of the loops, tossing it aside in to the grass. His lips grazed Patrick’s stomach as he jerked his jeans down his hips. Patrick’s fingers clenched around fistfuls of Royal’s hair and his mouth fell open in a gasp as he felt the hot, wet mouth wrap around him.
“Shh,” Royal coaxed. He stroked a hand up Patrick’s chest, pushing him back into the truck bed. Patrick’s hat fell back, rolling away. His mouth was expert and his hands were very well skilled too. Patrick didn’t feel like he could do anything but just let it happen. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to do anything. It had been way too long since the last time he’d done anything like this and it felt too good to let anything but the prospect of a good time sway him.
“Whaa?” He looked up as Royal pulled away. He leaned up on his elbows, ignoring the pain as his elbow scrapped against a stray piece of barbed wire. It was worth it as he watched Royal pull himself up onto the tailgate, already easing his own jeans down his hips. Patrick bit his tongue, his eyes following Royal’s hands as he pulled free of his jeans. He was hard already, at full attention. He didn’t even touch himself, pressing his palms against the grooved bed of the truck.
“Shit,” Patrick breathed as their members pressed together between their bodies. Royal silenced him with another kiss. He rocked their bodies together and practically devoured the younger man’s mouth, dipping his tongue past his lips and savoring the new taste. Patrick moaned, totally helpless. He hissed through his teeth as the sharp edge of the barbed wire scrapped his arm again. Royal didn’t notice; or if he did, he didn’t say anything about it. Patrick wrapped his arms around Royal’s shoulders, really kissing back for the first time.
It wasn’t about release all of a sudden. Not for him anyway. This was going to be short lived and he had to get everything out while he had the chance. His fingers moved underneath Royal’s shirt, wanting to feel every chiseled crevice, memorizing every solid inch. Just this one solitary experience would supply him enough fodder for a lot of interesting evenings alone.
“Close,” Royal whispered in his ear. He was heavy, pressing against him harder.
“Me too.” Patrick trailed to his hips, holding tightly, coaxing the rocking motion. He squeezed his eyes closed as he felt it –Royal’s first real shot, smearing across his stomach. He wasn’t far behind, perfectly timed to go. Royal was breathing heavily as he leaned up. He stroked himself a few times as he softened. He licked his lips, looking down at the mess they’d made –mostly on Patrick, almost none of it on him. He hiked his jeans back up over his hips, edging back down off the tailgate. His mouth went to the smears, licking Patrick’s taught belly clean. He didn’t say anything once every last trace was gone, taking a step back. He pressed the back of his hand to his mouth and turned away, moving around the truck to get in behind the steering wheel.
Patrick sat frozen for a minute before lifting up his hips to pull his jeans back up into place. He sighed, looking at the blood trickling down his arm. He picked up his hat, pressing it back on top of his head. He’d just had a really good time, so…why did he suddenly feel like such a fucking jackass?
--
“You’re bleeding,” Jacob was astute as always as the two walked into the kitchen. “What happened?”
“It’s just a scrape,” Patrick couldn’t even look at him as he went to the sink, twisting his arm around to rinse off the blood trail in the sink. He hissed through his teeth, looking at the damage. So, it was a little more than a scrape, but it wasn’t deep, and it certainly wasn’t life threatening.
“I’ll go get the first aid kid,” Jacob glanced between the two of them. He could feel that something was wrong. Really, really wrong, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what. He disappeared to the laundry room.
“I’m sorry,” Royal kept his voice quiet. “Are you okay?”
“Fine,” Patrick nodded. “Not your fault, I shouldn’t have just tossed it up in the truck bed like that anyway.”
“I’m not talking about that and you know it.” Royal turned Patrick’s face up to look him in the eye.
“Royal, I’m twenty-three years old. I can handle it,” Patrick pulled free and turned away from him again just as Jacob walked back into the kitchen with the first aid kit. He paused, looking at the both of them again.
“Am I missing something here?” He set the white box down on the counter, unclipping the latches to flip open the top. He opened the bottle of peroxide and poured it over the back of Patrick’s arm. It fizzed and the wounds turned white around the edges.
“Everything is fine,” Royal shrugged. “We just weren’t careful with some of the little bits, it was an accident.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Jacob’s face was hard as he looked up at Royal. Patrick bit his tongue. There it was: the fighting again. “What happened out there? Are you two fighting now too?”
“No,” Patrick assured him in that quiet tone he’d perfected. “Please, Jacob.”
Jacob sucked in a breath, pouring more peroxide onto the wounds. Once they cleared around the edges, he screwed the cap back on, putting it back in the first aid kit. He wrapped a few layers of gauze around Patrick’s arm before taking out a roll of the purple latex vet-wrap that they used on the animals. It stuck to itself, making a good bandage that pretty much nothing could get through. When he was finished, he re-latched the first aid kit.
“I don’t believe you –either of you,” he crossed his arms across his chest. “So, tell me what the hell’s got this fuckin’ weird vibe going on between the two of you.”
“Jacob,” Patrick sighed, pressing his hand against the wrap. His arm was starting to ache. He was pretty sure he was up-to-date on his vaccinations, and the barbed wire had been new, thank goodness, but that didn’t mean it didn’t sting like a bitch.
“You do something?” Jacob addressed him as Royal ignored him, pulling out leftovers from the night before to fix lunch. “C’mon, I should know, right? I’m your boss.”
“Jacob,” Royal’s issued warning. “Stop it.”
“What did you do? You don’t do that on purpose –c’mon, what is it?” Jacob ignored him. “You gonna tell me a story –you tripped in a rabbit hole, fell on some stray pieces?”
“I fucked him, okay?” Royal snapped, slapping the Tupperware bowl of salad onto the counter. “I did it; we were in the back of the truck. He caught his arm, probably when I got on top of him. Is that what you want?”
Jacob’s eyes flickered for just a second, before his face hardened, “Well, that was fast.”
“Jacob,” Patrick felt a new kind of panic in his chest –starting right at his heart. “It was…it was my fault. He wasn’t going to, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut; I basically coerced him. It…don’t, please?” He could feel the tears at the corner of his eyes. “I’m sorry.” He turned, striding as quickly as he could out of the kitchen. He was blind, but his feet took him down the porch stairs and across the yard. The screen door slapped closed behind him, and he slammed the thick wooden door closed. The alcove by the door was the only place in the house, not visible from any window. He sank down the door and let the tears fall down his cheeks. He almost never cried, especially not over something so trivial. He was just an under-developed supporting character in Royal and Jacob’s lives; he shouldn’t be taking this so hard. He pressed his palms to his eyes, waiting for the dampness to dry.
Back in the kitchen, neither Royal nor Jacob had moved. They heard the door slam across the yard and Royal made the slightest of flinches.
“Why would you do that?” Jacob’s voice was quiet. “Why do that to him? He’s just a kid –he thinks the world of you. He’d never stand up to you; or was that it? You knew it would be easy?”
“Fuck you,” Royal shook his head. “You don’t think I know it was wrong? It was fucking five minutes ago and I already know it was a mistake.”
“Don’t say that,” Jacob shook his head. “You never tell him that it was a mistake.” He took a step toward Royal. His hand twisted in the front of his shirt. “He’s only a kid, Royal. He’s been in love with you since the day you picked him up on the side of the road.”
“He stopped me at first,” Royal’s voice was quiet. “Then, like he said, he brought it upon himself. But it was my idea; I didn’t have to give in to him. I don’t regret it at all. I enjoyed it.”
“Asshole,” Jacob let go of his shirt. Royal’s head jerked with the force of the open-handed slap. He lifted his hand to do it again, but he hesitated for just a moment before stopping. His hand fell heavily to his side. “You know…I wouldn’t even be so pissed off about this if it had been anyone but him. You didn’t just fuck me over today, Royal. You might have just lost him too.”
Royal bit his tongue, leaning back against the counter as Jacob walked away from him. He closed his eyes as the porch door slapped shut. He could hear the gravel crunch under Jacob’s boots as he walked away. He sighed, running his hands across his face and through his hair. For about ten minutes of pleasure, he’d probably just fucked up anything good that had ever happened to him.

“Patrick, open the fucking door,” Jacob sighed. His hands pressed to his hips, and he squeezed his eyes closed, listening for him, but he couldn’t hear a thing. “Goddamn it, Patrick, I know you’re there and I know you can hear me.” He sighed again, a little louder this time. “Patrick, I’m not angry at you. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine,” Patrick’s voice didn’t really back up the statement.
“C’mon…let me in.”
“No.”
“Patrick, c’mon, you’re pissing me off.”
“Jacob, I don’t –I can’t.”
“Are you okay?” Jacob squashed down the battling feelings welling up in his chest. Priorities. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
“No,” Patrick couldn’t even keep the disbelief out of his voice. “God no.”
“You swear? You’d tell me if he did, right?”
“Jacob, I’m twenty-three fucking years old.” He could hear Patrick edging up from the floor and he jerked open the door. His face, usually so proud looking, was tear-stained. His skin was coated in a fine layer of dirt from being outside working, and the trails down his cheek were marked clean. “I’m not a child.”
“I know that,” Jacob assured him.
“I did this, not him.”
Jacob didn’t argue.
“He came on to me, I could have stopped him, but I didn’t. I did at first –I couldn’t help myself.”
“Patrick, this isn’t your fault.”
“Yes it is,” he pushed open the screen door. Jacob stepped inside the entryway. “I shouldn’t have…we didn’t really even have sex, Jacob. I mean, we were out in the field. We didn’t have lube, or condoms, and you know Royal would never –not even with me.”
“I know,” Jacob reached for him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “I know.” Patrick pressed his face into his neck, the tears starting up again.
“He told me he loved you.”
Jacob bit his tongue, patting the back of his head, “I know he does.”
“I don’t know what to do, Jacob,” Patrick pulled free from him.
“Don’t be anything but you,” Jacob shook his head. “Why don’t you get something to eat, and keep yourself busy out in the barn this afternoon? I’ll go back out to the fence with Royal.”
Patrick nodded. His fingers clamped around his arm again, the dull ache still not subsiding. “Okay.”
“I’m not mad, Patrick,” Jacob repeated his earlier statement. “And I’m certainly not mad at you.”
“Okay,” Patrick nodded again.
Jacob opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself, running his fingers through his hair with a sigh. “You might not make a whole heck of a lot of sense of everything right now, but…you’ll understand later.”
“What are you gonna do?” Patrick asked. He started down at their shoes –he was wearing steel-toed sneakers while Jacob had donned a pair of Red Wing work boots.
“What do you mean?”
“What’s going to happen?” Patrick looked up. “Between you and Royal, between the three of us –it’s all changed now. We can’t have that faux-father-son thing anymore, not after what we did.”
“That’s between you and Royal,” Jacob shrugged. “To me, you’re still the same sweet kid we took in when you were seventeen, Patrick. And, as for me and him, well…I don’t know. We’ll work it out, I promise. And, it’ll go back to the way it’s supposed to.”
Patrick gave a slight nod, “Right.”
“Go get some food,” Jacob nodded towards the kitchen. “I’ll see you later.”
Patrick nodded again and didn’t look up again as Jacob stepped back out of the house and down the porch steps. He waited until he back across the yard before closing the door again, more softly this time. He didn’t sink back to the floor and instead forced him to the kitchen for food. No sense in taking the bosses orders.

“You don’t have to help me,” Royal crossed his arms over his chest, blocking the door to the truck cab. “I can do it by myself.”
“It will go faster with the two of us,” Jacob put his hands on his hips.
“You really want to be out there with me?” Royal pushed.
“Out there, we can scream at each other as loud and as long as we want and no one will hear us.”
Royal sucked in a breath, moving around the truck. He slammed the door behind him after he had slid into the driver’s seat. Jacob pulled himself into the passenger side of the truck, and Royal turned over the engine.
“I just want to know why,” he started talking as soon as they were on their way out of the yard.
“Why what?”
“Why that, why there, why him, why now? Any why you can think of filling in for me.”
“Because I wanted it –because it was convenient, because he was there, because it’s been three fucking months since the last time I’ve been that close to anyone, much less you.” Royal let his eyes slide from the path to look at Jacob. The field was empty so there wasn’t much danger of an accident.
“So you’re blaming me?”
“I’m not blaming anyone, there is no blame. It’s a fact, Jacob. We haven’t fucked months, and even then its been sporadic the last year or so. We spend every single night in the same bed and you never even touch me anymore. I know every inch of your body, everything that gets you hot…but you don’t seem to want me.”
“Of course I want you,” Jacob sighed, shaking his head. “This just happens, Royal. We’ve been together for almost ten years. We spent the first seven fucking almost daily. Plus, we’re getting older, Royal. We don’t have the same libido as we did when we were in our twenties –fuck, I in my forties already.”
“Don’t play it off like you’re getting old, Jacob. We both know that’s bullshit. You’ve lost interest –we’ve both lost interest.”
“No,” Jacob shook his head. Royal jerked the truck into park near where they’d finished off the fence. “Goddamn it, Royal. I don’t know what you want from me. I’m trying so hard right now…but all I can think about is that...what you did with him, right here.”
“Where no one could hear us scream, right?”
“Did you like it?”
“Do you really want to hear the answer to that?”
“Yes.”
“Yes, I enjoyed it. I might even rank in my top five, bumping down that time we went to White Party in Orlando.”
Jacob rubbed the tips of his fingers at the corners of his eyes. He hated how totally frank Royal could be sometimes. It had started pissing him off; he used to find it endearing. “If I hadn’t asked, would you have told me?”
“Probably, eventually.”
“You made him feel like shit,” Jacob leaned against the door, shifting in his seat. “It was really unfair for you to do that to him.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Jacob. We did it, I can’t turn back time and talk myself out of it. It’s too late for that; it’s done. What do you want from me?”
“I want you to tell me that nothing is going to be different because of this. That you’re not going to treat him any differently because you had ten minutes of stupidity.”
“Of course not,” Royal sighed. “He’s second only to you in my affections, Jacob.”
“Really?” Jacob cocked an eyebrow. “You’re doing a pretty shitty job of showing that.”
Royal sighed, “What do you want from me, Jacob? Do you want me to fuck you too? Is that what you want? What you’ve been waiting for? I’ll do it, if that’s what you want from me –right here, right now. I’ll do to you what I did to him. That’s what this is about right?”
Jacob shook his head, getting out of the truck. He walked around the side to the tailgate, lifting it down to pull out the toolbox. Royal slammed his own door, joining him at the back of the truck.
“You wanted to talk, so talk. Like you said –we can stay whatever we need out here. There isn’t anyone around to hear us.”
Jacob pulled the toolbox down, setting it on the ground. He brushed any stray bits of barbed wire out of the way before grabbing the front of Royal’s shirt and shoving him against the back of the truck. It creaked, and Royal groaned, putting out his hands to stop himself. His hat tipped forward and he reached up to right it.
“Shit, Jacob,” he started to turn around, but Jacob’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.
“I don’t know what to do anymore, Royal,” his hand moved down his lover’s back. “What you did today, that wasn’t your fault and it wasn’t Patrick’s fault. It was mine. I practically put the idea into his head myself last night that it was okay. That I wanted this to happen; maybe I did.” His hand stopped on the small of Royal’s back and slid around his hip. He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around his waist. Royal was warm and he pressed his forehead to the middle of his back. “I just don’t know.”
Royal’s fingers flexed against the tailgate. “Jacob.”
He pulled free, stepping back, and kneeling down to open up the tool box.
“Jacob,” Royal turned around. “Talk to me, please?”
“And say what?”
“Anything.”
“He said that you told him that you loved me.”
“I do love you, you know that.”
“And you don’t feel at all sorry about what you did?”
Royal shook his head, “No, I can’t. I told him I wouldn’t and I don’t. The same way I’ve never felt bad about us.”
“You’re not even thinking twice about it, are you?”
“Is it a crime to enjoy yourself?” Royal shrugged. “He enjoyed it –it’s been even longer for him then for me. He deserved it.”
“I won’t deny that he could probably have used a good fuck, but from you?”
“Why not me?”
“Because you’ve been like his father for the last seven years,” Jacob finally looked up at him. “This is disgusting.”
“I took care of him but I’ve never been his father.”
“You need to apologize to him.”
“Why? He liked it just as much as I did. I’m sorry he got hurt –we should have been more careful. I’m not sorry that we had sex –or, as near as we could get out here at any rate.”
“You need to apologize because we can’t go back to the way it was. The two of us…I can forgive you. I know you, I know it a one-time indiscretion. But between the two of you, I don’t know. I don’t know if I can keep him here.”
“You can’t fire him.”
“Of course not,” Jacob shook his head. “And if you apologize, he won’t feel like he has to go so that we can stay together. He’s a runner, Royal. It’s what he does when he’s scared.”
“He wouldn’t just leave.”
“You don’t know that,” Jacob shook his head. “For all I know, he’s packing up right now and he’ll be gone by the time we get back.”
“Fuck you,” Royal spat. “He wouldn’t do that.”
Jacob shrugged. “Why don’t you go find out.”
“Fuck you,” he repeated. He moved around the truck, getting back into the drivers seat. Jacob took a few steps back as he revved the engine and pealed out, sending dirt and grass flying.

Patrick had started mucking out stalls in the barn and was just about finished when heard the ruckus of the farm truck stirring up gravel in the lot. He leaned his pitchfork in one of the stalls before heading for the door. He watched, quizzical, as Royal got out of the truck and made his way over to him.
Royal didn’t say a word, grabbing him by the shoulders and shoving him against the stack of straw bales. Patrick didn’t even have time to protest as Royal’s lips found his. It took a few extra moments for his wits to return to him and give him the strength to shove Royal away.
“What the fuck are you doing?” He breathed.
“I don’t know,” Royal shook his head. “Nothing makes sense today.”
“I thought you were out working on the fence with Jacob.”
“I was –we were going to. We…he said you might leave.”
“What? Why would I –Royal, this is my home now. I mean, if you or Jacob asked me to leave, I would, but…” He shook his head. “I’m not a stupid kid anymore.”
“I know,” Royal started to reach for him again, but Patrick side stepped him.
“Please don’t.”
Royal sank down onto one of the bales, putting his head in his hands, “Fuckin’-A, Patrick.”
“We can’t do that again –any of it. I can’t touch you, you can’t touch me. I won’t become a bigger part of anything coming between you and Jacob. I can’t!”
“Jacob and I are fine,” Royal shook his head. “He’s…he says he can forgive me.”
“Saying he can and actually doing it are different.”
“He will –he does. But, things can’t go back to normal until I know things are all right between the two of us.” Royal looked up at him. He folded his hands, and tapped his fingers against his lips.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Is there going to be this uncomfortable tension between us the rest of our lives or are you eventually going to forgive me for coercing you?”
“I wanted it as much as you did, more even.”
“Then why do you feel so guilty? I can see it in your face.”
Patrick sighed, picking up the pitchfork again and going back to his task, “Royal, I’ve known you for years –the both of you. You guys took care of me, made sure I stayed on track, got to college, offered me a job when I finished. I owe you guys more then I could ever think of paying back.”
“You don’t owe us anything,” Royal shook his head.
“But I do, which is why no matter what fucked up shit happens around here, I won’t leave and you can be certain that even if you asked, I wouldn’t go without some kind of fight.”
Royal nodded, “All right.”
“I’m sorry about earlier, I shouldn’t have egged you on. You’re right, I was asking for it. I wanted it, but that’s no excuse.”
“Do you regret it?”
“I don’t know, it was only an hour ago, Royal.”
“I don’t regret it at all,” Royal assured him. “It’s okay to admit that you liked it.”
“I’m just confused, but…I’m always a little confused. Everything is fine between us, Royal. Why don’t we just forget that this happened –we can’t let ten minutes change our entire lives, okay?”
Royal gave him a nod, “Yeah, you’re right.”
“So…go get your man,” Patrick nodded in the general direction of the fence. “He’s waiting for you to sweep him back off his feet, you know.”
Royal nodded, pushing up from the bale. As he walked away from the barn, Patrick leaning against his pitchfork to watch him go, he couldn’t help but feel like he was leaving behind a golden opportunity.

Triple J Ranch (Section V)

Note: Steamier then the previous sections, so I posted it here rather then on my Facebook. Enjoy!!


Then next couple of days passed quietly. Royal and Jacob had fallen into a routine, usually involving sleeping over at one another’s place, Royal getting up early every morning and then making breakfast for the two of them in his kitchen. It was exactly one week to Christmas when he felt Jacob shift in bed next to him.
“What are you doing?” He asked groggily, reaching for him Jacob started to get out of bed.
“Bathroom. I’ll be right back,” Jacob assured him, kissing his forehead.
Royal closed his eyes again, not thinking anything of it. It knew it was still too early to get up. He was just about to fall back to sleep, when he felt Jacob slide back into bed…and a little something extra.
“What the?” He blinked, trying to focus. A familiar furry snout lapped at his face before turning in three circles to lay down between him and Jacob.
“Merry Christmas,” Jacob grinned.
“Christmas isn’t for another week.”
“I know,” Jacob kissed him. “But, I had to pick him up from the pet store last night and…I knew I couldn’t hide a dog for another week.”
“You really got him for me?”
“Yeah. I went back on Wednesday morning after I went to pay the feed store. They had to hold him for a few days before they’d let me pick him up. He’s all yours.”
“That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me,” Royal reached for him, kissing him again. “Thank you so much!”
“I’ve got food dishes downstairs for him and everything else. I took him to the vet yesterday and got him up to date on all of his shots. He just needs a name so I can get the tag engraved.”
“Jacob…seriously, I can’t believe you got him!” Royal was suddenly very awake.
“I’m glad you like him,” Jacob couldn’t get the grin off his face. “So…I am making you take today off and you’re going to spend the whole day with me and the new addition.” He stroked his hand down the puppy’s back.
“Okay,” Royal wasn’t about to argue with him. “I think I can do that.”
“I already told the guys, so Mark is going to do your usual early stuff,” Jacob continued.
“Okay,” Royal slid back down, his hand coming to rest on top of the dog’s head. “I don’t know how you expect me to go back to sleep now though. I’m way too wired now.”
Jacob laughed, “Sorry. What are you going to name him?”
Royal was quiet for a few minutes, considering his options. Jacob almost thought he had fallen back asleep before he opened his mouth, “Hoshi.”
“Hoshi?”
“It’s Japanese.”
“Hoshi?”
“I like it,” Royal shrugged.
“That’s all that matters,” Jacob laughed, shaking his head. “Hoshi it is.” He leaned up, kissing the top of the newly-named Hoshi’s nose. “Cute.”
“I’m glad you approve,” Royal reached across Hoshi to run his hand down Jacob’s arm.
“Okay, that’s enough excitement for this morning. Let’s get back to sleep,” Jacob yawned.
Royal gave a soft laugh, scooting a little closer while being careful not to squish Hoshi. “Thank you,” he pressed a kiss to Jacob’s cheek.
“You’re welcome,” Jacob smiled, letting his eyes drift closed. His hand found Royal’s on Hoshi’s back.
Royal was quiet for a bit more, linking his fingers with Jacob’s. He’d never been one to be all forthright with his feelings; Jacob had been the first one to say it. And even now, two weeks later he wasn’t completely sure if he felt like it was all true. Jacob was too appeasing and easy to please. But with Hoshi snuggled down between them, already sleeping again, he was overwhelmed with this warm and fuzzy “new love” feelings.
“I love you.”
“Love you too; now go back to sleep.”

When Jacob woke up awhile later and was disappointed to find that he was, as usual, alone in bed. He sighed, pulling the thin waffle-weave blanket off the top of the covers and wrapping it around his shoulders to go find Royal. He didn’t have to go far. Royal was standing on the porch while Hoshi explored out in the snow.
“Hey,” Jacob wrapped his arms around Royal’s shoulders, putting the blanket around the both of them. “I had to wake up without you again.”
“Sorry, Hoshi needed to go outside,” Royal reached up to touch Jacob’s arms. “I was just about to come back inside. It’s kind of cold out.”
“Well duh, it’s December,” Jacob teased.
“Hoshi,” Royal called, patting his knee and clicking his tongue. Hoshi looked up from where he had been shoving his nose into a snow pile. When he realized that he was the one being spoken to, he bounded over, all paws and ears. He looked excited, pushing between the two of them for a good petting, which the two were more than happy to give him.
“C’mon cutie,” Jacob grabbed the back of his collar, tugging him lightly towards the house. “We’ll get you some breakfast.” He steered Hoshi towards the laundry room where he had been hiding him the night before. He poured some Puppy Chow into a stainless steel bowl and left Hoshi to attack it. Royal went for the kitchen, looking to see what Jacob had for breakfast fixings.
“I think all I have for breakfast is oatmeal,” Jacob sounded apologetic, taking a seat at the kitchen table. “And maybe some eggs and toast.”
“That’s okay,” Royal shrugged. “I can make oatmeal.”
Jacob got back up, pulling Royal away from his cupboards, “Why don’t you sit down and I’ll cook for you?”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. Heck, even I can manage oatmeal. I’m not completely and totally helpless in the kitchen, you know,” Jacob rolled his eyes, continuing to push Royal towards the chair. “Besides, we can treat today like our own personal Christmas, since you’re going home next week.”
Royal smiled, “Okay, whatever you want.”
“Plus, you cook for me every day now. It’s the least I can do to repay you,” He leaned down over him, kissing him.
Hoshi, having had his fill, wandered back into the kitchen towards the voices. He sat prettily next to Royal’s chair, waiting to be noticed.
“Well, aren’t you a gentleman?” Royal reached over to pat his head. Hoshi’s tail wagged as he stood up to push up against Royal’s hand. “Maybe something like Higgins would be a better name for you.” Hoshi gave a little yip, giving a little shake all the way down the length of his body in an obvious displeasure at the idea. “Okay, okay, so you’re not a Higgins.”
“Higgins? Where on earth do you come up with these things?” Jacob asked, pulling out a kettle and a box of Quaker Oats.
“Hey, my dogs were named Connelly and Murray. I’ve always given my pets gentlemanly names…well, okay, my parents named Connelly, and my sister named Murray since he was technically hers…”
Jacob hummed, measuring out water into his kettle, followed by just a little bit of milk. Royal didn’t say anything, trying not to watch instead stroking Hoshi behind the ears. He tried not to seem disappointed when the dog pulled away, prancing back off towards the laundry room for more food.
“So, does this mean you want me to get your presents?” Royal asked.
“I have presents?”Jacob tried to sound nonchalant, waiting for his water and milk mixture to heat up before adding the oatmeal.
“You know you have presents,” Royal rolled his eyes.
“No, I can wait until Christmas Eve,” Jacob shook his head. “I only gave you Hoshi today because I knew I couldn’t hide a dog for an entire week. I mean, being stuck in a laundry room for days doesn’t sound like my idea of fun, and I’m sure he wouldn’t have appreciated it very much.”
Hoshi wandered back out carrying a hard rubber chew toy. He dropped it in front of Royal and then sat back down, wagging his tail in anticipation.
Royal picked it up and tossed it across the kitchen, away from Jacob at the cooking stove, “Go get it, Hoshi.”
Hoshi leapt up, dashing to go pick it back up.
“Bring it back,” Royal held out his hand. It took him a second, but Hoshi came back, dropping the toy back into Royal’s lap. “Good boy!” He rubbed Hoshi behind the ears before tossing the toy for him again. “Go get it.” The scene repeated over and over while Jacob continued cooking.
“Would you like anything else with your oatmeal?” Jacob asked, bringing him over a bowl a few minutes later, sprinkled with brown sugar and a splash of milk.
“No, this is good. Thank you,” Royal tossed Hoshi’s toy one more time before shifting his chair to dig in. “Hmm, this is delicious.”
“I try,” Jacob shrugged, getting his own bowl before sitting down across from him. Hoshi grabbed is toy and moved to lay under the table between them, chewing happily.
“So, since you’re forcing me to take the day off, what are we going to do?”
Jacob hummed, “Well, I figured we’d spend part of the day in bed…and we can take Hoshi outside to play, and make the other guys totally jealous. And, we can take him with us to Jer and Dan’s tonight for poker –well, actually, I think they’re getting sick of poker; we might be playing video games instead; I’m not entirely sure.”
“Is it just us tonight?” Royal asked.
“Yep. Tim’s mom is in the hospital getting that hip replacement. Sherriff Jerico is on night duties this week, and Winston wouldn’t show up without Stephen.”
Royal nodded, getting up to get a glass of juice, “Okay. …Do Jer and Dan know you got me a dog?”
“I mentioned it to them the other day,” Jacob nodded. “Jer is excited that Frank will have a playmate now.” Frank was Jeremy’s cattle dog he had gotten about a year ago. “And he also might be slightly jealous; he loves dogs.”
“Aw, well I’m sure Hoshi will like having a playmate too,” he rubbed Hoshi’s belly with his foot, under the table. “Frank needs someone who can help her run off some steam.”
“Tell me about it,” Jacob rolled his eyes.
When they finished breakfast, Jacob rinsed out their bowls and stuck them into the dishwasher. “Okay, it is still only eight o’clock,” He leaned back against the counter, raising an eyebrow at Royal who had started to play tug-o-war with Hoshi. “I vote we crawl back into bed, just for a bit.”
“Aw, but Hoshi is all awake now…” Royal wouldn’t quite let Hoshi win the game, pulling his hand up so Hoshi was standing on his back paws.
“Hoshi can come too,” Jacob shrugged. “I don’t have anything against doing it with a dog in the room.”
Royal laughed, letting go of the toy, “How about I go home and get dressed,” he moved to press up against Jacob at the counter, “and then we go outside and wear down our new puppy. Then, we can come back inside and fool around on the couch.”
Jacob hummed, “As excellent as your plans sounds,” his fingers coaxed their way under Royal’s t-shirt, “I’m horny now. There’s no way of knowing if I’ll even be up to performance later…”
“You’re not that old,” Royal teased, coaxing a kiss out of him. “I’m pretty sure you’ll be fantastic. I’ll even do that thing that you like…”
“Oh,” Jacob let the pink blush creep up his neck. “Well, if that’s the case, who am I to argue?”
“I figured that would be the reaction I would get,” Royal grinned, taking another kiss. Jacob held back the groan, letting his fingers clench around the hem of Royal’s t-shirt. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
“Okay,” Jacob nodded, letting Royal pull away from him. He watched him shove his feet back into his sneakers which he’d kicked off by the door the night before, and shrug into his jacket for the dash across the yard. He waited until he heard the screen door click before he patted Hoshi on the top of head. “C’mon, Hoshi, let’s go get ready.”
Hoshi followed him upstairs and laid down on the rug at the end of the bed. He continued to knaw on the end of his toy as Jacob pulled on a pair of fleece lined jeans, a t-shirt, and a flannel shirt over top. He sat down on the end of the bed to pull on a pair of warm work socks.
Royal wandered back into the house, just as Jacob was pulling on a pair of work boots, “Kennedy said to say kudos on the dog; now you’re stuck with me for life. Apparently buying a pet together means we’re married or something.”
“Yeah, that’s Kennedy for you; always getting the wrong idea,” Jacob pulled on one of his jackets. “But, I can’t say that I’m not keen on the idea.” He paused to press a kiss to Royal’s mouth. “If I’ve got to be stuck with someone for the rest of my life, it might as well be someone that makes me as hot as you do.”
Royal smirked, “Don’t get caught up too fast, Boss. That’s usually the downfall. You get swept up into how much you think you love a person and you start to ignore all of the shit that they do that isn’t compatible.”
“Hmm, well, in our case, the only things not compatible is your desire to work all the frickin’ time, my desire to fuck all of the time, and of course the fact that I still occasionally enjoy looking at women, but we’ll worry about that later.”
“I don’t mind if you look at women,” Royal promised. “Just so long as you still come back to me at the end of the day, you can look all you want.”
“Good to know you’re not the jealous type,” Jacob assured him. “C’mon, let’s go outside and let Hoshi run off breakfast.” He pulled on his hat and gloves while striding towards the door. Hoshi, still carrying his toy, wandered out between the two of them. The toy was dropped in favor of making a running leap off the porch and into a snow drift.
“I’m glad someone likes the snow,” Royal shivered, pulling his hat down over his ears. He waited until Hoshi had burrowed around for a bit and done his business before picking up the toy again. He threw it a little farther then he’d been able to in the small kitchen, and Hoshi bounded after it.
“Hey guys, is this new puppy?” Kennedy emerged from the barn a while later. Hoshi raced over to greet the newcomer, excited to meet more people. “What’d you name him?”
“Hoshi,” Royal informed him. He had bit back the sarcastic remark that had boiled up into his throat upon Kennedy’s stupid question. Where there any other dogs around? He tossed Kennedy Hoshi’s toy. “Here, he’ll play Tug with you.”
“What kind of name is Hoshi?” Kennedy wrinkled his nose, teasing him one end of the toy.
“It’s Japanese, apparently. I don’t know, ask Royal,” Jacob shoved his hands into his pocket.
“It means star,” Royal informed them.
“I’m not sure I want to know how you just know that,” Kennedy shook his head.
“I took four years of Japanese in high school and college,” Royal shrugged. “You remember stupid shit like that.”
“I wouldn’t have pegged you for that kind of guy.”
“I really liked anime as a kid,” Royal shrugged. “I almost went to college to be an artist, but agriculture seemed like a more viable occupation.”
“I am trying to imagine you as an artist and it just isn’t happening,” Jacob stared at him. “What do you draw?”
“Mostly comics –a lot of strips. I was published in my campus newspaper in college for about two years,” Royal shrugged. “It was fun, but I liked working outside with my hands more. Comics were more of a hobby.”
“I never took you for a geek,” Kennedy shook his head.
“I am not a geek,” Royal rolled his eyes.
“Anime? Comics? I think that’s geek material,” Kennedy got Hoshi to let go of the toy and he threw it into the snow across the yard.
“Shut up,” Royal stuck out his tongue at him. “I’m sure you do something geeky too.”
“Hmm…” Kennedy pondered, waiting for Hoshi. “Not really. Well, okay, I play my fair share of World of Warcraft, but that’s the only geeky thing I do.”
Royal hummed, “Well, you’re a bigger geek then I am then. I haven’t drawn in years.”
“Why not?” Jacob asked.
Royal shrugged, “No time, I guess. I guess I haven’t had much of a reason too either. You keep me busy, Boss.”
“Shit, don’t blame me for keeping you from your true talent,” Jacob scoffed.
Royal laughed, “I never said I was any good at it. I just liked to waste time with it.”
“You’re a man of many talents, love,” Jacob sighed. “You cook, draw, great business sense, you can fix just about anything… Is there anything you can’t do?”
Royal hummed, “Well, I’ve never been very musically inclined. Does that count?”
“I’ll take it,” Jacob gave him a curt nod.
“Anyway, I better get back to work,” Kennedy patted Hoshi on the head again before sending him back to his masters. “Enjoy our day off, Royal.”
“I’ll try,” Royal nodded. Hoshi panted heavily, leaning into his head. “You tired, Hoshi?” He reached down, stroking a hand down his back. “Let’s go back in where it’s warm then.”
“Thank god,” Jacob tamped back into the house, hanging up his jacket right away. Hoshi darted for the laundry room to lap up some water while the two men shrugged out of their coats and boots. “For someone who hates the cold so much, you sure as hell do spend a lot of time outside.”
Royal shrugged, “Comes with the job description.”
“Fuck that,” Jacob shivered, pulling Royal along behind him into the living room. “If you’d go for it, I’d turn you into a housewife and I’d fuckin’ go out and do all the hard labor.”
Royal laughed, “You’d never get up before seven in the morning and you know it.”
Jacob sighed, “I know. Plus, you’re way better with everyone else then I am.”
“True. The horses like me more too. The cows couldn’t care less though, so long as someone feeds them,” Royal fell back onto the couch and Jacob fell right along with him. “Hmm, I should stop feeding you; I think you’ve gotten heavier.”
“Fuck you,” Jacob stuck out his tongue. Royal hooked his fingers into the belt loops on Jacob’s jeans, yanking him a little more squarely on top of him.
“That was my plan;” Royal assured him, “since you seem to be so insatiable lately.” He pulled Jacob’s flannel shirt out from his jeans and started unbuttoning it from the bottom-up. He grunted, breaking their kiss when he realized that he was wearing a t-shirt under it. “Oh, well that’s just underhanded.”
“Sorry, babe,” Jacob leaned back, pushing off the flannel shirt and tossing it aside. He withdrew the t-shirt over his head and let it fall from his fingers to the floor. “Better?”
“Much,” Royal confirmed, tugging him back down. “For someone who bitches so much about being cold, you feel pretty hot to me.”
Jacob grinned, “Yeah, well, being around you tends to tip my inner thermostat a little higher then normal.”
“Well at least I know you’re not a fridge bitch; I hate those.” Royal’s fingers tweaked at Jacob’s skin. He could still kind of taste the sweetness from the brown sugar from that morning’s oatmeal on his lips. He hummed, licking the last traces of it off. “Yummy.”
“You like that?”
“Hmm,” Royal gave a slight nod. “You always taste sweet.”
“I like your mouth, but it’s not my favorite part,” Jacob slipped a little to the side so he could unbutton Royal’s jeans. He wasn’t shy at all about reaching inside either, wrapping his fingers around his lover’s member.
“Yeah, figures you’d like to get straight to the goods,” Royal lifted his hips just a little to tug his jeans down over his hips so it wasn’t such a stretch for Jacob’s arm. “I swear, there is just no romance anymore.”
“Queer,” Jacob scoffed, kissing him again before sliding down to get to business. Royal didn’t argue with the statement, and he wasn’t about to stop Jacob from taking him into his mouth. He’d wondered briefly how many times Jacob had done just that very act as he seemed to be quiet good at it. He was secretly hoping he was making up for any inexperience with an actual pleasure of doing the task, since Royal never actually asked him to go down on him. He’d had boyfriends in the past who absolutely refused to, but he had been thrilled to find that Jacob had no complaints about doing it whatsoever –and damned if he wasn’t excellent at it.
“Hey,” Jacob noticed that Royal wasn’t exactly paying attention to him. “What are you thinking about up there?”
“You,” Royal assured him.
Jacob grinned, shifting from using his lips to his hand, “Me?”
“Uh huh. You’re really good at that.”
“Well, thank you,” Jacob’s tone hinted at a little bit of conceitedness. “I do try; through I can honestly say it’s been awhile since I’ve done it…”
“Really?”
Jacob hummed, “But you don’t want to hear about my past.”
“Well, I can’t say I’m not curious,” Royal shrugged. “But, I don’t think I want to talk about it while you’ve got my dick in your hand.”
“You’re curious about it? Really? Why?” Jacob sat up, abandoning his quest.
Royal groaned, “Jacob! You can’t stop in the middle!”
“Sorry, sorry, but now I’m curious.”
Royal sighed, pulling his jeans back up over his hips, “Well, you’re like…80% straight, right? So, I just can’t help but wonder how you got to be so good at sucking cock, that’s all.”
“I’ve slept with guys,” Jacob shrugged. “Not a lot of guys; only three. Maybe four. One I’m not actually sure about –we may have been a little bit drunk; we don’t talk about it.”
“Dan?” Royal guessed.
A crimson blush threatened to creep up Jacob’s cheeks, “Really, it was nothing. Chances are we just passed out together. Before that, there were two guys that were more like fuck buddies then anything serious –we were straight guys; we just liked sucking each other off once in awhile. One guy was sort of serious. I kind of fell for him, but he wasn’t interested in me for anything other than blow jobs. He wouldn’t even entertain the idea of being bi; he’d just take it where he could get it because he wasn’t very popular with women. Then, after Dan and I may or may not have slept together, I kind of turned it around and just dated girls…until you came along,” he pressed his palm to Royal’s chest. “You’re different from the other guys; you’re not trying to pretend to be something you’re not. I know you’re stable and not just looking to get laid. They were stupid college boys like ten years ago; I’m more then over them.”
“I wasn’t concerned about that,” Royal shook his head. “I know you’re not going to play me or something, unless some hot lady comes around. But hell, you can’t help it; you’re not completely bent.”
“I’m happy with you,” Jacob assured him.
“Good, now can you go back to what you were doing with your tongue a minute ago?” Royal cocked an eyebrow.
Jacob grinned, “Of course, I can’t think of anything else I’d rather be doing.” He tugged Royal’s jeans back down and went right straight back to lapping his tongue up the length. Royal sucked in a breath and tipped his head back to enjoy. He let Jacob work his magic until he couldn’t take it anymore.
“Okay, okay,” Royal sat up, putting his hand on Jacob’s shoulder. “If you don’t stop now, it’s going to be over a little too quickly.” He wrapped his arm around Jacob’s waist, hoisting him forward. He could feel him straining, still encased in his own jeans, as he stole a brief open-mouth kiss. “You ready for your turn?”
Jacob grinned, giving him a nod and shifting back to undo his jeans, pushing them down. Royal slid from the couch, getting rid of his own jeans and t-shirt before kneeling down in front of him. He tugged off the denim and tossed them aside. He forward with as much abandon as Jacob had shown. He didn’t have nearly as much work to do as Jacob had had, and he didn’t stop for any interruptions either.
“You know, you’re not bad at that yourself,” Jacob coaxed, pulling his fingers through Royal’s hair. “Should I be concerned about your past?”
Royal tipped his head back, licking a little circle around the tip, “Nope.”
“You sure?”
Royal nodded, switching to stroking him with his hand as he got up to straddle his hips, “Six guys –two in high school, three in college, one after college that was really serious.” He coaxed a kiss out of him and wrapped his arms around Jacob’s neck to press their bodies together. “Does it scare you that I’ve been with more guys then you?”
Jacob shrugged, reaching down, wrapping his hand around the both of them, “No. If you add the ladies I’ve been with, I think I win.”
Royal grinned, “You want to talk about girls?” He hummed, rubbing their members together, “Four high school before I admitted I was gay, and three in college just because they were really into me.”
“Asshole” Jacob pinched his ass, making him jerk forward. “This isn’t a competition.”
Royal laughed, “Sorry Boss, let me make it up to you.” He kissed him again, stoking his fingers up his chest and tweaking his nipples. He bent down to bite softly with his teeth, then a little harder to pull a moan from Jacob’s throat.
“Oh, damn,” Jacob sighed, pulling him closer. “That feels way better then it probably should.
Royal hummed, “Condoms?”
Jacob reached across the side of the couch for the side table drawer. He fumbled for a second before he pulled out a row of the foil packets. He tore one off, and handed it Royal.
“Excellent,” Royal kissed him, tearing open the package and tossing it aside. He reached down between them, sliding it down around Jacob who tensed up.
“What are you doing?” Jacob’s eyebrow rose.
“Letting you fuck me for a change,” Royal ran his hand down Jacob’s length, smoothing out the latex. “Is that a problem?”
“N-no, I just didn’t expect it,” Jacob put his hands on Royal’s hips as he pulled forward.
“Gotta start somewhere,” he shrugged. He bit his lip, moving slowly until he sat squarely in Jacob’s lap. “Shit, you’re a little bigger then I expected.”
“I’m going to take that as a compliment.”
“As you should,” Royal assured him. He wrapped his arms around his neck again, kissing him as he pulled forward, just a little. He moved slowly at first, growing accustomed to the change, before changing the pace to get steadily faster. Jacob’s hand started stroking him.
“Fuck!” Royal’s eyes squeezed shut and he pressed his face into Jacob’s neck. Jacob grunted, pushing deeper into Royal as he tightened around him, following quickly behind.
“Don’t move yet,” Jacob was careful of his sticky hands, pulling Royal’s face back to kiss him. “Just sit for a second.”
“Okay,” Royal nodded. He turned his mouth against Jacob’s palm, licking the traces from his fingers.
“That’s kind of gross, but…really sexy at the same time,” Jacob wrinkled his nose but didn’t stop him.
Royal shrugged, “It’s just come.”
“Exactly, it’s come.”
“Have you ever tasted come?” Royal teased. “I mean, besides pre-come when you’re giving a blowjob?”
“Sure,” Jacob nodded. “It’s kind of gross.”
Royal rolled his eyes, “Sometimes, other times it’s not so bad.” His lips made a popping sound as he sucked one of Jacob’s fingers. “Can I get up yet?”
“Yeah,” Jacob nodded. “Let’s go get cleaned up.” He put his hands on Royal’s hips, letting out a moan as Royal pulled free.
“Oh damn, I forgot what that felt like,” Royal sucked in a breath. “We’ll have to do that again later.”
“Is that a promise?” Jacob pushed him towards the bathroom.
“Hell yes,” Royal confirmed. “And if you play your cards right, it could be sooner than you think.”

“Oh my god, he is the cutest dog I’ve ever seen in my whole entire life!” Jeremy ran down the stairs of the porch before they had even gotten out of the truck. “
“You haven’t even seen him yet!” Jacob rolled his eyes, slipping out, Hoshi right behind him, leaping into the snow. He went straight for Jeremy, sniffing around his feet before sitting down to be pet.
“Aw, you are just such a perfect gentleman aren’t you?” Jeremy knelt down, stroking his ears. “What’d you name him?”
“Hoshi,” Royal got out of the other side of the truck, coming around. “You sure it’s okay we brought him along?”
“Oh yeah!” Jeremy nodded. “He can go hang out with Frank in the barn; she’ll love having a pal. Frank!” He yelled over his shoulder. A few moments later, the salt-and-pepper colored cattle dog loped over, and instantly froze upon seeing the new comer. “Come here, girl.” She skulked a little closer, hugging close to Jeremy. Hoshi, curious as ever, sniffed closer before giving a little bark. Frank sniffled back before giving her own little bark and racing away, back towards the barn. Hoshi glanced back at Royal and Jacob who laughed.
“Go on,” Royal waved him away. He gave another happy little bark before racing a long after his new friend.
“C’mon in the house,” Jeremy beckoned. “I’ll leave the porch door open so they can come in if they get too cold out there. Don’t worry –Frank will watch out for him.”
Royal and Jacob followed him up to the porch and into the kitchen where Dan was shaking his hips to a song on the radio while he sliced some cheese for a snack tray.
“Oh hey,” his cheeks turned slightly red. “Where’s puppy?”
“Frank was racing him out to the barn to play; I think they’re going to get along really well,” Jeremy grinned, pressing a kiss to his lips. “You did a great job with the snack tray, Cowboy. I especially liked the part with the ass-shaking.”
“Anytime, babe,” Dan kissed him back briefly before turning back to their guests. “So! It’s just us tonight; we can play poker or, I just got a couple of new multi-player Wii games.”
“Sounds like a good time,” Jacob nodded.
“I don’t promise to be any good at it, but I’ll try,” Royal shrugged.
“That’s all we ask,” Jeremy patted his shoulder. “C’mon –I’ll grab us beers. Dan, you set everything up.”
“K,” Dan nodded, picking up his snack tray and leading the way into the living room. He set the tray down on the coffee table and went to turn on the TV.
They played a couple of matches of tennis, Royal picking it up after a game or two. Jeremy left for a minute between games to let Frank and Hoshi in from the cold and the two dogs curled up together on the large carpet in front of the fireplace.
“So, you joining us for Christmas, Royal?” Dan asked, taking a seat on the couch. He helped himself to a cracker and some cheese.
“No, my mother talked me—well, more like conned me into going home,” Royal ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m not exactly looking forward to it.”
“I could go with you, if you wanted,” Jacob offered. “I liked your sister; I’m sure the rest of your family isn’t that bad.”
“Good lord no; I would not subject you to the entire Greves clan at a holiday,” Royal shook his head. “I appreciate the offer, but I’ll be okay.”
“Besides, you have to be here to help me not kill Dan’s brother,” Jeremy gave him a sarcastic smile as he came back in with a bowl of guacamole and some chips. “I swear to god, he irritates the shit out of me.”
“It’s one day, Jer,” Dan sighed. “Besides, his daughters annoy me more than he does.”
Carter was five years older than Dan at thirty-seven. He’d married straight out of high school and gone on to own a hardware store in a neighboring town. His parents had always wanted him to inherit the Bar-T, but Carter admonished any idea of ranching, and was more than happy to leave it to Dan, who he said had more of a head for cattle raising. Dan hadn’t argued –he loved working on the Bar-T and was more than happy with the arrangement. Carter’s two daughters were eighteen and fifteen respectively. Miranda, the oldest was in her freshman year of college about an hour away and Suzanna, the youngest, was kind of a dreamer. Both of them seemed to find Farm Life very quaint and were more of a nuisance then a help when they pleaded to help feed baby calves or brush horses –simple tasks that even idiots could accomplish.
“I suppose that’s’ true,” Jeremy sighed. “And don’t get me started on Aunt Tessa. I swear to god if she hints at us adopting a kid one more time, I’m gonna pop her one. I don’t care that she’s eighty.”
Dan laughed, “You know, she might be on to something.”
Jeremy cocked an eyebrow at him, “Can we not have the Kid discussion in front of my brother and Royal, please?”
“Sorry, sorry,” Dan shook his head. “I know you’re touchy about it.” He patted Jeremy’s knee, “Sit down, babe.”
Jeremy sat down next to Jacob on the couch, crossing his arms over his chest, “I am only twenty-three. I don’t even want to think about kids.” He shivered involuntarily at the idea. “Besides, I’d probably kill one –we’ve got a lot of dangerous machinery around here!”
Dan laughed, “Okay, okay…no kids. Relax; don’t have a conniption.”
Jeremy grumbled some more and shoved a dip-covered chip into his mouth. “So, are we going to play another game or call it an early night?”
Royal glanced down at his watch, “Well, it’s only nine.”
“One more game then?” Dan handed him the Wii-mote. Royal clipped the strap back onto his wrist. “What about you two?”
“No thanks,” Jacob shook his head. “I think I threw out my shoulder playing tennis…”
“Wimp,” Dan chided. “Jer?”
“No,” he shook his head. “Another beer anyone?”
“Ah, no more for me, but I’ll take a coke if you’ve got one,” Royal shook his head.
“I’ll take one, bro,” Jacob nodded. “Is there any more Heineken left?”
“I’m sure I dredge one up,” Jeremy pushed up from the couch. “Dan?”
“Ah…one of those Berry Weiss would be awesome.” Dan nodded.
“Come with me,” Jeremy grabbed Jacob by the back of the shirt, yanking him towards the kitchen.
“What’s up?” Jacob straightened out his shirt once the two of them were safely in the kitchen.
Jeremy went to the fridge to pull out drinks, “This thing with Royal…are you serious?”
“I told you, of course it’s serious,” Jacob crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against the sink. “Do you really have that big of a problem with it?”
“Yeah, I kind of do,” Jeremy finally looked at him. “I mean, you’re not gay –who do you think you’re fooling?”
“I don’t need your approval, little brother,” Jacob’s voice hinted at a little bit of disappointment. “What’s your big problem with this?”
“I just can’t seem to wrap my head around this whole…thing. I mean, I can deal with Royal being gay, that’s not a huge surprise. But are you sure you want to be hooking up with your foreman? I mean, he works for you.”
“Do I need to remind you of your former employment with Dan?” Jacob cocked an eyebrow. “Besides, I don’t really see how my sex life is any of your business.”
“Look, just because I know you’re sleeping with a guy, doesn’t mean you need to tell me you’re sleeping with a guy,” Jeremy cringed.
“I’m actually happy with him,” Jacob ran his hands through his hair. “Why is that so difficult for you? Yeah, I am fully aware that he’s my employee. I’m aware that we’re stepping into dangerous new territory, but you know what? I don’t really care. The other guys don’t seem to have a problem with it, Dan doesn’t seem to care. You’re the only one who is freaking out because I’m in love with Royal.”
“Oh Christ, you think you love him?”
“Yeah, I think I do.”
“You’ve only been sleeping with him for like three weeks, how can you know that?”
“When did you know you were in love with Dan?”
Jeremy shook his head, “Dan and I are different –I’ve been in love with him since we were kids.”
Jacob hummed, “Just because I only met Royal three years ago doesn’t mean I haven’t had feelings for him as long. You can’t hold it against me that I didn’t fall for some dink from around here. I could have had Dan, probably, if I’d wanted.”
“Fuck you, you’re such an asshole,” Jeremy shook his head. “I just think you’re being really stupid. What’s going to happen when some girl pops into your life?”
“We’ll deal with that when it happens,” Jacob shrugged. “I’m not going to leave him for some what-if. I like him too much for that, and he really likes me.”
“Just…don’t hurt him,” Jeremy finally looked his brother in the eye. “Royal is probably the best foreman you could have ever asked for. Don’t piss him off, don’t let him quit. You know you can’t run the Triple J by yourself, and none of the guys are cut out for his job. He’s one of a kind.”
“I know,” Jacob nodded. “I would never just let him leave. He’s part of that place now.”
“Okay,” Jeremy nodded. “I just don’t want to see you run your place into the ground, trying to grapple with an unorthodox romance.”
“Jeremy, I am perfectly capable of running a ranch. It’s the one thing I am actually good at, thanks,” Jacob rolled his eyes, trying not to seem offended. “I’m not sure why you seem to think that I am some kind of idiot all of a sudden.”
“Because you’ve never done anything this stupid before,” Jeremy shook his head.
“Being in love is stupid? Well then you must be the biggest fucking idiot ever.”
“Fuck you,” Jeremy shook his head. “I don’t know why I bother talking to you.”
Back in the living room, Royal slid a glance towards the kitchen. He could just see Jacob leaning against the sink, looking mad, but he couldn’t hear what they were saying.
“Something wrong?” Dan asked
“No… What are they arguing about?” Royal nodded back towards the kitchen.
“No idea. Probably about you,” Dan shrugged.
“Me? What did I do?”
“You’re sleeping with Jacob, aren’t you?” Dan shrugged. “Jeremy doesn’t want to admit that his brother might, possibly, be a little gay.”
“Oh,” Royal nodded.
“He’s just worried about the ranch –and his brother,” Dan shrugged. “He just won’t admit that. He’s afraid that Jacob is going to fuck it up and you’ll leave.”
“Why would I leave?” Royal shrugged. “I like it here. Yeah, if something happens with Jacob and me, it’s going to be awkward, but we’ll get over it. We’re adults.”
“I’ll be sure to inform Jeremy you said that.”
“Oh good,” Royal nodded. “So…Jacob and I may have discussed our, err, pasts earlier.”
“Pasts? Oh, like sex?”
“Yeah.”
“Ah,” Dan gave a brief nod. “He told you about us then?”
“It may have been mentioned. Does Jeremy know?”
Dan shrugged, “It never seemed important. I’m surprised Jake brought it up to you, actually. Especially since we’re not even really sure we actually did it.”
“Who did it?” Jeremy came back in, holding out Royal’s coke.
A blush crept up Dan’s cheeks, “Ah, no one.”
Jeremy’s eyebrow cocked up, and Royal could see the obvious family resemblance between Jeremy and Jacob –he’d gotten that look plenty of times himself.
“We’ll talk about it later.”
“Sorry man,” Royal gave Dan an apologetic smile.
“Don’t worry about it,” Dan shook his head, he pressed a kiss to top of Jeremy’s head.
“Uh huh,” Jeremy gave him a stare down, shoving Dan’s beer into his hand. “Drink your stupid beer.”
“ So, what were you two talking about? Royal asked. He wasn’t sure why, but he kind of wanted to get any kind of problem Jeremy seemed to have with him out in the open. He wasn’t one for secrets; he just preferred to get stuff out rather than letting it boil up.
Jeremy and Jacob looked each other, each with that cocked-eyebrow look on their face like they were daring each other to say something. Finally Jacob cleared his throat.
“My brother seems to think that I am some kind of asshole who is just out to destroy everything I touch.”
“I did not say that!” Jeremy admonished. “I just said that maybe you should think a little more before jumping head first into this kind of a relationship!”
Royal smiled, “Jeremy, I’m not going to let your brother fuck up anything. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out –but, I prefer living romances in the now; not worrying about if or when we’re going to break up. I’ve found that worry about that, usually leads to it.”
“But, he’s not gay!” Jeremy sighed.
Royal held back a smirk, but gave him a little shrug; “I’d suggest something, but you seem to have a problem knowing that we’ve slept together, so I’ll just keep my mouth shut.”
Jacob grinned, “If you’re implying that I give damn good head for a straight dude, that’s OK. The truth hurts sometimes.”
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” Jeremy reached up, covering his ears. “Too much information!”
“No, no,” Jacob pulled at Jeremy’s wrists, “the worst part is that I actually like it! It’s way easier than going down on a lady.”
“Aaaah! I did not need to know that!” Jeremy pulled away from him. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!”
“Hey, at least I’m not telling you that we totally did it on the couch today –whoops.”
“You asshole,” Jeremy smacked his shoulder. “I sit on that couch!”
Royal smiled, shaking his head, “I think someone has had a little too much to drink…” He took the Wii-Mote off his wrist, setting it down on the coffee table. “Maybe it’s time we get on home?”
“No way, I just opened this,” Jacob took another drink of his Heineken. “Just let me finish it.”
“Mkay,” Royal nodded. “Whatever.”
“You guys want some of this left over dip?” Jeremy was looking for any reason to get away from his brother. His face was burning red.
“Sure,” Royal nodded.
“Just don’t do anything creepy with it,” he requested, moving towards the kitchen. “Or, at least don’t let my idiot brother tell me about.”
“Will do,” Royal promised. “I’ll help you clean up a little.” He picked up a couple of empties, following behind him.
Dan moved closer to Jacob, pinching his side once their lovers were out of sight, “What the hell, dude! Why did you tell Royal about us?”
“Ow! Fuck, what was that?” Jacob rubbed his side. “It just came up today! I didn’t think it was a big deal!”
“What if Jer found out we might have slept together? He’d be pissed!”
“It was, Christ, twelve years ago, man! It was one time!” Jacob shook his head. “He asked about my history with guys, and I told him! I didn’t think it was a big deal!”
“It is a big deal!”
“Look, I’m sure he isn’t stupid enough to say anything to Jeremy. Besides, I can’t believe you haven’t told him yourself yet. I mean, it’s sort of a funny story…”
“It is not funny,” Dan hit him in the chest. “It is a mortifying story. You’re not even my type.”
Jacob did that familiar eyebrow-cock, “You are aware you’re sleeping with my brother, who is basically a younger version of me?”
“Exactly –I like them young and cute. You’re old, and frankly not that attractive.”
“Fuck you,” Jacob scoffed, hitting him back. “I am totally hot.”
“What the hell are you two doing?” Jeremy came back in with a Tupperware bowl of dip. “You’re such freaks. Take this and get out.” He shoved the bowl into Jacob’s chest.
“Okay, okay,” he downed the last of his drink before setting it down on the coffee table. “We’ll go. C’mon Hoshi!” He patted his leg. Hoshi picked up his head from where he had been laying next to Frank. He gave a short snort, getting up and stretching.
“Bye, Sweetie,” Jeremy knelt down, scratching Hoshi behind the ears. “You can come back and play with Frank any time you want.” Hoshi gave him a happy pant, before going to brush against Dan for a goodbye-pet as well. He obliged, and Hoshi made his way directly for his masters.
“See you next week, Bro! Later Dan!” Jacob called, pulling on his coat in the kitchen.
“Later,” Dan called back.
“…I really hate my brother sometimes,” Jeremy crossed his arms across his chest as the screen door closed behind them.
“No you don’t,” Dan wrapped his arms around Jeremy’s waist, pressing his lips to his neck. “Just like you’re secretly kind of pleased that he’s hooked up with Royal; there are much worse pairs out there in the world, babe.”
“I know,” Jeremy sighed. “Help me clean up?”
“Of course,” Dan kissed Jeremy on the temple. “Then we can go upstairs and reaffirm that we’re the better couple –I know that’s what you really want to do.”
“You know it,” Jeremy grinned over his shoulder, making his way back to the kitchen with the extra food.
“…Damn, you really are going to kill me one of these days.”

Triple J Ranch (Section)

Note: Tired of waiting for JL Langley to give me more of her cowboy series, so...I was forced to take matters into my own hands. I'll full admit to stealing underlying plot and Royal's first name. But the rest is all me, I swear. (If you haven't read Tin Star or The Broken H...you need to. You can borrow them from me; god knows I've read them enough times myself...And if they sit in my room, I just read them over again). Also, too lazy to format right now. Will come back and fix later.
___


Walking across the yard of the Triple J Ranch was difficult, pushing against the brisk December snow that had decided to fall. There had already been a decent layer on the ground that morning before Royal had gotten out of bed. When he’d been doing his morning chores, it had apparently started up again. He sighed, shoving his hands further into his jacket. He hated the snow –more so when it was coming down, then when it was actually on the ground. It just made it harder to get his work done.
“Hey—” Royal turned to the disembodied voice coming from the porch of the main house. “You want some coffee?”
“I gotta go feed the cattle in the South Pasture,” Royal called back.
“They ain’t goin’ no where,” the voice called back.
Royal sighed. He couldn’t feel his toes…a cup of coffee would be nice. He grumbled before making a dash for the enclosed porch. He stomped the snow off his boots as best as he could before stepping onto the mat by the kitchen door.
“How’s things?” the dark haired owner of the Triple J Ranch pressed the hot mug of coffee into his hand after he pulled off his gloves that shoved them into his pocket.
“It’s fuckin’ cold outside!”
Jacob laughed, “Yeah, I figured. That’s why I’m glad I’ve got you around to do all of that physical shit outside.”
“I hate the snow,” Royal grumbled, sipping the hot coffee. He recoiled at the bitter taste and shook his head. “Goddamn, warn a man before you hand him a black cup.”
“I figured you knew,” Jacob shrugged, moving to sit down at the table. “Would you like something to eat? I think there are some muffins? Or, I could make you something.”
Royal raised an eyebrow but shook his head, “No, I’m good. I’ll eat after my work is done.” He took a few tentative steps onto the clean kitchen tile to pour some sugar and creamer into the coffee. He leaned back against the counter to take a sip of the doctored drink and grinned. “Much better.”
“What’s on your agenda today?”
“Well, if it keeps snowing, a whole hell of a lot of nothing. Gotta make sure the cattle have feed in the sheds so they don’t freeze themselves out in the cold, and maybe working on that damn tractor. Why?”
“You want to go over some paperwork with me later?”
“Sure,” Royal nodded, sipping down more of his coffee. He was starting to regain feeling in his fingers, which was nice. “I’ll come in after I finish up in the pasture.”
“Okay,” Jacob nodded. He had an intoxicating smile that made Royal rethink wanting to be alone with him. He gave himself a mental shake before putting down the nearly empty cup.
“I better get back out there. Thanks for the coffee.”
“Any time,” Jacob nodded.
Royal let himself back out onto the porch, taking his time pulling his gloves back on. He straightened his hat down over his ears and took a deep breath before stepping back out into the blistering wind.
An hour later, even more chilled then before, and damp to the bone, Royal stepped into the foreman’s house, situated off to the side of the main house. He kicked his wet boots off by the door, and hung up his jacket. His socks peeled off his feet and he shivered, taking off clothes as he made his way to his bedroom for dry duds. He lay the wet things to dry over the curtain rod in the bathroom, and pulled on some thicker, new jeans that hadn’t quite been broken in yet, and a thick green sweater. Heavy work socks warmed his toes right away. He pulled on a pair of old work boots, warm enough to get him to the Main House, and his thick down jacket. He tugged his hat back onto his head and shoved his hands into his gloves before making another dash back across to the Main House.
“Jacob?” He called, stomping off his boots by the back door. He shook out his pant legs before kicking off the boots and stepping into the kitchen. He shoved his hat and gloves into the pockets of his jacket before hanging it up.
He didn’t hear a reply back, so he tiptoed through the kitchen. He’d been working on the ranch for almost three years now, but that didn’t make him any less uneasy in the Main House. When he’d started working, Jacob’s daddy had been “in charge”, so to speak. He’d hired him behind Jacob’s back –something Royal hadn’t known anything about at the time. He’d just answered the help-wanted ad in the newspaper. He’d found out later that Jacob’s brother, Jeremy, had been the previous foreman and been run off by Papa Trenton for being gay. While Jacob hadn’t had a problem with it, it had caused some drama between father and sons. Jeremy was now comfortably situated at a neighboring ranch, totally in love with his childhood crush, and co-owner of the Bar-T.
Now though, Jack Trenton had died almost a year ago, and there weren’t many sad faces about it. He’d made life living hell for his kids the last two years of his life and while there was the whole, “He’s our Dad” feeling, they hadn’t wasted too much time mourning over him. Jacob took full control of the ranch as the oldest son, and though he had invited Jeremy to come back, his brother had declined, perfectly happy where he had made his new home.
“Jacob?” He called again. He had stopped in the entry way. He could hear soft music coming from somewhere, but he couldn’t tell what exactly it was. “Jacob!”
There was a sound of a bump and a crash, followed by a curse, “In the office, Royal.”
Royal’s face flushed red and he leaned against the door as he opened it, “Sorry –bad time?”
“No, no,” Jacob was brushing coffee out of his lap, “You just surprised me.”
“You want me to get you a towel?”
Jacob sighed, shaking his head, “No, I’ll just go change quick. I’ll be right back. –Get me another cup of coffee though, would ya?”
“Sure thing, Boss.” Royal nodded, picking up the mug. He followed Jacob out of the office, trying not to watch as Jacob unbuttoned his jeans as he made his way for the stairs. He glanced away quickly and darted for the kitchen as he caught a glimpse of underwear. He gave himself another mental shake. Jeremy was the gay one in the family, not Jacob. He should know better.
He started to pour some of the caramel liquid into a fresh mug before he stopped, glancing back at the stairs. “Hey, Jacob?”
“Yeah?”
“How do you take your coffee?”
He heard Jacob laugh, “Thanks for the consideration –I expected pay back for earlier!”
“Yeah, well, what can I say? I’m not an asshole.” Royal grinned.
“Just put in some of that pumpkin spice creamer from the fridge –that should be good enough,” Jacob called back. His voice sounded closer now, and Royal could hear him moving down the stairs. He finished pouring the mug before moving to the fridge. He glanced in the door for the creamer, and found it just as Jacob entered.
“This it?” He held up the copper colored Coffee-Mate bottle. Jacob nodded, pulling open a cupboard to pull out a box of cookies.
Royal poured a bit of the creamer in, before replacing the bottle in the fridge. “Here you go –sorry for startling you.” He offered him the cup.
“It’s OK,” Jacob shrugged. “It happens. Cookie?”
“No thanks,” he shook his head.
“Okay then,” Jacob shrugged. “Grab your own cup and come on into the office then.”
Royal nodded, pouring himself a cup before following after Jacob into the office.
“All right,” Jacob set his coffee and cookies on the coffee table in the middle of the office and grabbed his laptop and a few files off of the desk before settling down on the couch. “Lets get to work then…”
The two worked quietly over the next hour or so. Outside, the snow had started to cease, though you couldn’t tell with the way the wind kept whipping it around. When they’d finished, Jacob stretched his arms over his head and yawned.
“Well, glad that’s done with,” he set his computer aside. “And in time for lunch too.”
“Oh good; I never did get around to breakfast this morning,” Royal pushed himself up from the couch. “I better go make sure the boys have got things under control.”
“Okay,” Jacob nodded. “Oh hey, umm…what are you doing on Friday night?”
Royal shrugged, “Don’t got any plans that I know of. Why?”
“Jeremy and Dan invited us over to play poker –I just forgot to mention it to you.”
“Oh,” Royal nodded. “Sure. Sounds like fun. Do they need me to bring anything?”
Jacob laughed, “Jeremy knew you’d ask that –he said just to bring your cute butt… His words, not mine.”
Royal failed to hold back the red flush that crept up his face, “Oh, well…I think that can be arranged.”
“I’ll let him know you said so,” a small smile tugged at Jacob’s lips.
Royal shoved his feet back into his boots, lacing them up before pulling on his jacket and gloves. He took his time, not really ready to leave the warmth of the Main House. Finally, taking a deep breath, he stepped back into the brisk wind.

Friday was a much better day. The wind had died down, the snow was tamped down enough in the main pathways that he could get away with just wearing work boots, rather than snow boot and still keep his feet warm. No major catastrophes occurred while the cattle were widely left to the elements, and all looked to be happy and healthy –actually enjoying the snow. Crazy bovine.
“You ready for poker tonight?” Jacob had decided to come out to help with some work, rather then hole himself up in the house. He had grabbed an extra pitch fork and was helping one of the hands, Kennedy, muck out stalls, while Royal mended a bridle, seated on a sawhorse in the opposite corner of the barn.
“Yeah, I’m always lookin’ to take more of your money,” Royal looked up for a second to give him a grin. “And your brothers, and that best friend of yours, as well as Timothy Janes and anyone else who might be playing.”
“Pretty big mouth for a guy who loses four-out-five hands,” Jacob elbowed Kennedy who laughed.
“Yeah, but I always make sure that hand I win, wins me big,” Royal raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah…well, I suppose I can’t argue with that, eh?”
“You guys don’t even play for money, do you?” Kennedy asked, taking a short break to lean on his pitchfork. He was a younger guy, probably around twenty or twenty one. He lived with his parents in town and worked part time on the ranch while going to school at the neighboring tech school.
“Naw,” Royal shook his head. “Mostly we play with peanuts, or gummy worms…”
“Or whatever else happens to be in Jer and Dan’s kitchen…”
“Last time, didn’t we play with raisins?”
“Yeah, and Tim kept eatin’ them,” Jacob rolled his eyes. He poked Kennedy in the butt with the end of his pitchfork. “Hey boy, I’m not payin’ to stand about…”
“Oh, right, sorry…” Kennedy shook his head, getting back to work.
The group worked quietly once more, Royal finishing the bridle, just as Kennedy and Jacob finished up the stalls.
“Alright, I’m going to go check on the South Pasture. You want to leave around seven?” Royal asked, putting away his tools.
“Sure,” Jacob nodded. “You want to drive?”
“Sounds good,” Royal nodded back. “Kennedy –get the horses settled for the night and then you can get on home, all right?”
“Thanks Royal,” Kennedy nodded, tipping his hat. “See you tomorrow?”
“Bright and early,” He nodded.
Kennedy waited until Royal was gone before holding his hand out for Jacob’s pitchfork, “I’ll put that away for you, Boss.”
“Thanks,” Jacob nodded.
Kennedy replaced the forks back on their wall pegs before moving for the door that separated the warm barn from the outside coral where the six horses were gallivanting around in the snow. “So…do you think Royal is seeing anyone?”
Jacob raised an eyebrow, “I don’t think he is, why do you ask? Did you hear something?”
Kennedy shrugged, “He just looks like he would be popular with the ladies…and the guys for that matter.”
Jacob’s eyebrow inched higher, “You got somethin’ you wanna say, Kennedy?”
He laughed, shaking his head, “No, no...Royal isn’t my type thanks.”
“Well, I’m not sure if you’re his, so…I guess that’s OK,” Jacob shrugged.
“What about you?” Kennedy started leading the horses into their stalls while Jacob started dishing out feed.
“What about me?”
“You think you’re Royal’s type?”
“I don’t even know if I want to be Royal’s type,” Jacob laughed. “I’m not a bigot or anything like that…I’ll admit to fooling around in college, and I know Jer and Dan enjoy that whole scene…but,” he shrugged. “I don’t know if it’s for me. Plus, Jer would probably kill me for stealing his thunder.”
Kennedy laughed, “Yeah, you’re probably right.” He closed the gates after the horses and then started to dish them each out sections of hay. “But…if he was interested, would you?”
Jacob shrugged, “Can’t say I haven’t thought about it…but I don’t know. Maybe. It might be awkward, what with him being my foreman and everything.”
Kennedy nodded, “ ‘Spose I didn’t think about that.”
“It wouldn’t stop you though,” Jacob nudged him with the edge of the feed scoop. “I mean, he’s sorta your boss, but…I wouldn’t say anything.”
He laughed, shaking his head, “No, no…that’s all right. Thanks anyway.”
Jacob shrugged, “Alright, don’t say I didn’t offer to turn a blind eye though.”
“I’ll keep that in mind, should the situation ever arise,” Kennedy assured him. He threw the strings from the bales into the growing pile of them for reuse. “I’m going to head out, unless there was something else you needed me to do?”
Jacob shook his head. “No, I think that the other guys and Royal have everything else covered.”
“G’night then,” Kennedy tipped his hat and zipped up his jacket. “See ya, Boss.”
“Night, Kennedy!”
Jacob patted his horse on the nose as she pushed against his shoulder, “Sorry Girl, no treats today.” He pressed a kiss between her eyes. “Maybe tomorrow. Stay warm.” He patted her head before making sure the doors to the corral were tightly closed and made his way out.
He made his way back up to the Main House for a shower and a quick dinner. He paused to watch Royal park the old cab-John Deere tractor in the shed across from the house. He shook his head, kicking off his shoes outside of the kitchen door and making his way into the house. He started shedding clothes as he made his way upstairs to the bathroom. He turned on the water to get warm before pulling out a towel.
The water felt good and hot against his chilly skin. He shivered and tipped his head back to relish in the new heat before running his fingers through his thick auburn hair. In the think-tank of the shower, he couldn’t help but think about what Kennedy had brought up in the barn –in so few words. Was he interested in Royal? Sure he was, in a way. He was hot. Thick dark hair, well toned body…hard worker, fun to be around, good business mind when it called for it. Dependable. Sexy as hell. But, he hadn’t slept with another guy since college –hadn’t even looked at another guy since then. He’d always been a ladies man –he liked the girls; all shapes and sizes. But something about Royal had irked him, in a good way, ever since he had first laid eyes on him, three years ago.
After he was good and clean, he scrubbed his hair mostly dry with his towel before wrapping it around his waist. After pulling on some comfortable jeans and a nice fitting t-shirt, he made his way downstairs to heat up some left over pasta from the night before. Just as he was finishing, Royal gave a short knock on the door before letting himself in.
“I’m a little early, but do you want to stop into town and pick up some extra beer or chips?”
“If you want,” Jacob nodded. “We can pick up some of those fancy import beers you like so much.”
“Hey, you like them just as much as I do,” Royal shook his head.
“Maybe,” Jacob shrugged, shutting off the kitchen light and pushing Royal back onto the porch. “But I’m still good with a good old Milwaukee Brew.”
“So am I,” Royal shrugged back. “Those Cheese Heads know how to make a good beer.”
Jacob laughed, “You can be such a dumbass.” He shoved his feet into his sneakers and shrugged into his old, worn leather jacket. “It’s a good thing you’re cute.”
“Oh really?”
“Really,” Jacob nodded. “Kennedy thinks so too.”
“Does he?” Royal shoved his hands into his pocket, linking his fingers around his truck keys.
“Yeah, I think so,” Jacob pulled his black Stetson hat onto his head before reaching up to pull Royal’s stocking cap down over his ears. “He asked me if you were seeing anyone.”
“Oh.”
“…Are you?” Jacob’s hands trailed down his foreman’s shoulders before he pulled them back to himself, and shoving his hands into his thin knit gloves. He made his way for the screen door off the porch, making his way towards Royal’s bright blue pick-up.
“I’m not,” Royal shook his head. “I haven’t really had time. ‘sides, the only people I know around here are ranchers and farm hands. I’m pretty sure anyone in town found out I was gay too—“
Jacob stopped, turning around at the truck, “So, you are?”
“Are what?”
“Gay.”
There it was. The word that no one seemed to ever want to say…
Royal was stumped for a second. The intense look that Jacob seemed to be staring at him was throwing him off entirely. Finally, after a good mental shake down, he gave him a pointed look, “Does it matter if I am?”
“I’m just curious. I don’t care who you sleep with –my best friend and my brother have been together for three years. I’m a homophobe; I’m not going to fire you or something.”
“I like girls…I just like guys more,” Royal got into the cab of the truck, and shoved the key into the ignition. “Besides, you were just flirting with me like crazy, so no way can you claim to be straight as an arrow.”
Jacob shook his head, “I never said I was. I experimented in college, like everyone else.” He looked Royal in the eye. “I like guys. I just like girls more.”
A smile tugged at Royal’s lips and he shook his head, “Smart ass.”
The drive into town was quiet. They were almost to the local grocery store when Royal cleared his throat, “So, you think Kennedy likes me, huh?”
Jacob laughed, shaking his head, “I don’t know. I think he was fishin’. Or playin’ matchmaker. One or the other.”
“Fishin’ after me, or fishin’ after you?”
“Well, he asked about you.”
“But he got you to talk about yourself, didn’t he?”
“Maybe a little,” he nodded.
Royal bit his tongue for a second as he threw the truck into park, around the back of the grocery store. After cutting the engine and the lights, casting the two of them into the dark, he shifted to look at Jacob in the hazy darkness. “Be honest…you got a crush on me, Jacob Trenton?”
Now Jacob was the one dumbfounded into silence. It took him an extra second but he finally gave a slight half nod, “Maybe just a small one. But damn if you don’t make it easy –walking around my ranch in those ass-hugging jeans.”
A grin tugged the corners of Royal’s mouth and he licked his lip, “That’s all I wanted to know. C’mon, we’ve got beer to buy.” He slid out of the truck and held back the laugh that almost burst forward when he heard Jacob’s quiet curse.
They made their trip into the grocery a quick one, and arrived at the Bar T Ranch just after seven o’clock.
“Wait a second,” Jacob stopped him before he could open up the door. “Before we go in…all the flirting and the teasing… Not in front of Jeremy and Dan, okay?”
“Not a problem,” Royal shook his head. “I’m good as the Strong Silent type.”
“Don’t I know it,” Jacob rolled his eyes.
Jeremy opened the door to them before they could even get onto the porch.
“Hurry the fuck up assholes, it is freezing!” Jeremy grabbed his brother’s sleeve yanking him into the kitchen. “What took you so long?”
“We stopped for more beers,” Royal held up the two extra six-packs which Jeremy grinned at and took off his hands.
“Awesome. I’ll pop these in the fridge. You want one to start?” He offered.
“Sure, thanks,” Royal grabbed one of the long necks and made his way over to the table where Dan Evans, Timothy Janes –one of Dan’s hands, as well as Stephen Jerico, the town Sherrif and Winston Colt, the Native American foreman of Sheriff Jerico’s parent’s place, the Circle-Eight. “Hey guys –what’re we playing with tonight?“
“We got dried black beans –at least Tim won’t eat those,” Dan stared pointedly at Tim who shrugged and took another plug off his beer.
“Hey man, if it’s just sittin’ in front of me…of course I’m gonna put it in my mouth!”
“I hope I’m not the only one to catch that innuendo,” Royal pulled his cap off and shoved it into his pockets, followed by his gloves. He hung his jacket over the back of his chair before sitting down.
“No man, it’s innuendo all over the place here today,” Dan reached out to pat Jeremy on the ass he walked past with bowls of chips and dip.
“Keep your hands to yourself, asshole. I’m still mad at you,” Jeremy slapped his hands away.
“What’d he do now?” Jacob turned a chair around, sitting down on the other side of Royal. “Forget to hang up his towel in the bathroom again?”
“Among other things,” Jeremy took a chair on the other side of his brother.
“Is this a bedroom issue? ‘Cause I really don’t want to hear about that…” Jacob shook his head.
“No, the bedroom is fine. It’s the only thing he’s got going for him at the moment.
“Shut up,” Dan shook his head. “You love me and you know it. You’re just mad because I paid for your tuition for school next semester.”
“Christ, is that what this is about?” Jacob rolled his eyes. “Damn, Jer, let the man pay for school. You’re workin’ for him, aren’t you? You’re getting the degree to help out, right? Dumbass little brothers…” he smacked Jeremy in the thigh before picking up the deck of cards from the middle of the table. “Dan, you got those beans divided?”
“Yep,” He tossed everyone a full sack of the black beans.
“What the hell are you gonna do with all of these?” Stephen laughed, taking the bag.
“I figured we’d hold on to them for next time,” Dan shrugged. “You know, since we’re too cheap to go buy real chips.”
“Tell me about it,” Winston rolled his eyes.
“Shut up, Chief,” Stephen shook his head.
“All right boys,” Jacob began a fancy shuffle. “The game is Five Card Draw…”

A few hours later, and a couple of empties each, the sheriff and Winston had decided to call it a night. Timothy was stretching, getting up from his chair.
“I’m done for the night, guys. See you in the morning.”
“Night Tim,” Dan tipped his head at him, still shuffling the deck of cards. “How about you two? You up for another game?”
Royal shrugged, “I am, if Jacob is. It’s still early.”
“Well, you three can play another hand if you want, but I’m going to bed,” Jeremy got up and pressed his lips to Dan’s cheek. “Don’t get too drunk down here.” He whispered something secret, just for Dan, before giving him a little smirk and ruffling his hair before making his way for the stairs.
“I swear that boy is going to kill me…” Dan shifted in his chair, dealing out another hand. “What about you? You find a girl yet?” He raised a pointed eyebrow at Jacob. “Your Daddy will be rolling over in his grave if you don’t get workin’ on that soon.”
“Fuck my Daddy,” Jacob rolled his eyes. “I hope that bastard is rollin’ in his grave. I don’t have to live up to his expectations anymore.”
Dan shrugged, “To each his own.”
“Fold,” Royal shook his head, pushing back his chair. “Either of you want another drink?”
They each gave a brief nod and Royal moved to the kitchen to grab a couple more beers from the fridge.
“What about you, Grebe? You got a lady friend yet? You been in town long enough to get some eyelashes batted in your direction,” Dan asked as he came back, uncapping the beer easily.
“Royal is gay,” Jacob informed him.
Dan glanced up at Royal, taking it in for a second before he burst out laughing. He put his beer down before he spilled it and pushed his chair back from the table to lean down on his knees.
“What the hell is so funny?” Royal raised an eyebrow.
Dan leaned up, pressing his palm against his chest. “Oh man…I think I’m gonna have a heart attack. How long?”
“How long what?” Royal furrowed his eyebrows.
“How long has this fool known that you’re gay?”
“About three hours,” Jacob took a sip of his beer to hide the red flush that threatened to creep up his jaw.
“Oh, damn! That is sweet…” he reached across the table to pat Jacob on the arm. “I have to go tell Jer that he lost our bet. I’ll be right back.”
“What…what the hell?” Jacob furrowed his eyebrows. “We’re in the middle of a…a fuck it,” He threw down his cards and crossed his arms. “This is ridiculous.” He cracked open his own fresh beer, taking a long swig of it. “How the hell could they know and not me?”
“Gay men are all born with honed gay-dar. How else do you think we used to find each other?”
Jacob took another swig, albeit a smaller one this time. “Whatever. This is ridiculous.”
“I’m more curious as to what the bet was…confirmation that I was gay, or how long before you figured out that I was gay. Or…”
“Or?”
“Maybe they know you have a crush on me.”
Jacob snorted, “Like my brother would bet on something like that…actually, he would. Never mind.“
“You drink that any faster and I’m going to have to carry you home.”
“Wouldn’t you just love that?” Jacob raised an eyebrow. “Takin’ advantage of a poor drunk guy.”
“I prefer my guys sober,” Royal shrugged, taking his seat across from him at the table. He picked up the cards and started shuffling. “Besides, there hasn’t been anyone special in years. I wouldn’t waste all that pent up frustration on your drunk ass.”
Jacob hummed, giving a nod. “What about if I wasn’t drunk?”
“I thought you said we weren’t going to flirt tonight, Mr. Trenton,” Royal started dealing out cards. “You warned me pretty heavily against it when we got here tonight.”
“That was about four beers ago; I’m not thinkin’ straight anymore.”
“And there is more of that innuendo that’s been so popular here tonight.”
“Shut up,” Jacob picked up his cards, taking a glance at them. “I don’t think you’ve had enough to drink yet.”
“I think you’ve had too much.”
“I ain’t drivin’.”
Royal hummed, turning cards. He collected the small pile of beans as Dan re-emerged from the stairs.
“So…what’s going on?” Dan flipped his chair around to take a seat.
“Nothing’s going on,” Royal shrugged.
“Oh c’mon…you don’t just come out to your boss in this part of the country without some reason.”
“It just…came up,” Royal shrugged. “I don’t lie about it; I never saw the point.”
“So nothings going on?”
“Not for his lack of trying,” Royal raised an eyebrow at Jacob who flushed red again.
“Shut up, you asshole. Don’t you know you should suck up to your boss –not piss him off.”
“Innuendo…” Royal sang.
“Fucker.”
Dan laughed, “Oh man, this is even better then I imagined.”
“Shut the hell up,” Jacob kicked him underneath the table.
“Hey man, I went to college with you. I know what you’re all about,” Dan shrugged.
“You don’t know shit,” Jacob shook his head. “Besides, if anyone is interested in this lunk-head. It’s Kennedy. He’s the one that was asking questions today.”
“Uh huh,” Royal rolled his eyes. “More like, he want to see you laid so you’ll feel friendly with the Christmas Bonus.”
Jacob scoffed, “I am always more then generous with the holiday bonuses.”
Royal hummed again continuing to shuffle the cards, “All right…you’re getting argumentative. I think it’s time to get on home.”
“Maybe you’re right,” Dan nodded. “See you guys next week?”
“Sure thing,” Royal nodded. “C’mon Boss.”
Jacob sighed, pushing back his chair, “Fine. But I’m taking the rest of my beer. Damned if I’m gonna leave it to my queer bestie and brother.”
“Okay, okay,” Royal nodded. He pulled his jacket back on over his shoulders and tugged his hat on. “You grab those, I’ll go start up the truck.”
“Good,” Jacob took his time getting up from his chair.
“…You okay?” Dan raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, I’m fine why do you ask?”
“You just look…I don’t know, disappointed or something.”
“Maybe I am,” Jacob pulled on his jacket and gloves. “But I can’t tell you what exactly it is that I’m disappointed about.”
“Oh?”
“I’m not talking about this anymore,” Jacob shook his head. “G’night.” He gathered the left over six pack. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay,” Dan nodded. He leaned in the door way, watching Jacob take his time to the warming truck…and wished he could be fly on the wall in the cab of that truck on their way home.

“Hurry up, it’s freezing,” Jacob pushed the six pack across the seat before hoisting himself up into the truck. “Why the hell is your truck so high up off the ground?”
“Sorry. You need a hand?”
“I got it,” Jacob slid into the seat and jerked the door closed. After he had clicked on his seat belt, Royal pulled the truck into reverse to start on the way home.
They were quiet for the first couple of minutes. The truck was finally starting to heat up, which was nice. Jacob warmed his hands against the vent and tried to keep from sneaking sideways glances at his foreman, who was having a hard time keeping the smirk off his face.
“So…do you want to just come out and say it or what?” Royal finally asked.
“Say what?”
“That you like me,” Royal’s drawl put a little western inflection on the word ‘like’, and Jacob shook his head.
“I find you attractive. That doesn’t mean that I…like you.”
Royal hummed, “All right.”
“And even if I did, it doesn’t change that I’m straight. Everyone is a little gay in their own way.”
“All right.”
“Just like you’re a little straight in your way,” Jacob shrugged.
“Sure, sure.”
Jacob crossed his arms, turning his head to stare out the window. After a moment he finally let what had been flitting about in his head pass his lips, “It would be different if you liked me.”
The smirk won out, and Royal reached across the cab prod him in the thigh, “Did I ever say I didn’t like you?”
“You never said you did either.”
“Sure I like you,” Royal shrugged. “You’re cute; sexy, even. You’re a hard worker, a good boss. You basically let me run your place, aside from all the paperwork, which is fine with me. What’s not to like?”
“That’s not exactly what I meant.”
“I know what you meant,” he nodded. “I do like you…I like lookin’ at you, I like teasing you even when you don’t get the joke. I like hanging out with you. I like those discrete little touches that happen then you do things: like hand me a cup of coffee. I like working for you, ‘cause it means I get to do all of those things any time I want.”
“Flatterer,” Jacob scoffed.
“Look,” Royal turned into the winding drive way of the Triple J, “I like you…you like me. But, the thing is, that…you’re mostly straight and I’m mostly gay. You’re my boss, I’m your employee. What kind of message would it send to the guys if we suddenly started shackin’ up?”
“That their boss is getting to be in desperate need of satisfaction,” Jacob scoffed.
“Careful there, sarcasm is a bitch to get out of leather.”
“Up yours,” Jacob jerked off his seatbelt as Royal parked his truck in its usual spot by the foreman’s house. He jerked open the door and made to slip from the cab.
“Be careful—“
The warning came too late and Jacob found himself with a face full of snow.
“You okay?” Royal, with a little more agility, made his way around the truck.
“I’m fine,” Jacob got up onto his knees, and shook his head. “Just a bruised pride is all.”
“Hey,” Royal squatted down next to him, and tilted his face up, brushing snow away from his cheeks. “I’m not saying that I don’t want to, or that I wouldn’t sleep with you. I’m just saying that…if we do, it probably shouldn’t turn into a thing.”
“A thing?”
“You know what I mean,” Royal stood up, holding out a hand to him. Jacob took the hand up, and began to brush the snow off his jeans. He watched him for a second before he nodded towards the house. “You want a cup of coffee?”
“Sure,” Jacob nodded. “I suppose you owe me one.”
“Suppose I do,” Royal nodded. “Grab your six pack –you don’t want that to freeze.”
Jacob grabbed the cardboard box out of the cab before shutting the door roughly behind him. Royal opened up the door to the small house and kicked off his boots by the door and hung up his jacket after stuffing his gloves into his pocket.
Jacob did the same, setting the case of beer by the door to grab on his way out.
“Damn, this looks as plain as the day you moved in, man.”
“What can I say, I’m not one of those artsy gays,” Royal rolled his eyes. He filled the coffee carafe with water and put in a fresh filter and grounds before flipping the switch. “Besides, I like it kind of plan. It’s sort of rustic.”
“Sort of boring as all hell.”
“I spend ninety percent of my day outside, why do I need to have a ton of shit laying around that I don’t even get to look at half the time.”
Jacob hummed, “True I suppose.”
“Besides, it’s just me and the less I have, the easier it is to clean up.”
“Ah, so you’re just lazy.”
“That might be part of it,” he nodded with a small smirk.
“You’re still wearing your hat,” Jacob slid onto one of the stools at the bar counter between the kitchen and the living area.
“Oh yeah,” Royal reached up, running his fingers under it to pull it off. “I sort of forgot.” He laid it down on the other end of the counter. “You want anything to go with your coffee?”
“No thanks.”
“You sure?” Royal leaned on his arms across from him, putting the narrow counter between them.
“There’s just one thing I want, and it has little to do with coffee.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah.”
“And what’s what?”
Jacob leaned up on his palms, moving a little faster than Royal anticipated. Their lips pressed together for just a brief moment at first, tentative; then again with a little more vigor. Royal’s palms pressed against his side of the counter, pushing up and across the surface. It had been…too long since his last kiss. Much more since he’d had one this good, with a guy who made him feel so…
“…Sorry,” Jacob hesitantly broke the kiss. He was still a breath away from the foreman. “I’m not sure what came over me.”
“I think I have an idea,” Royal cocked an eyebrow and licked his lips. Jacob had tasted of the night’s beer and faintly of Jeremy’s fantastic homemade salsa, as well as slightly salty from the chips. “But you don’t need to apologize. If you hadn’t done it, I would have.”
“Oh really?”
“Really, just like if this bar wasn’t in the way, I’d be fucking you on the floor already.”
“Is that all that’s stopping you?”
“It’s the biggest obstacle at the moment,” Royal gave a slight nod. “But the most easily rectified.”
“Oh?”
“The biggest question right now is…would you let me?” Royal’s breath was warm against Jacob’s cheek as he brushed his lips against the rancher’s ear.
“Why don’t you pour me a cup of that coffee first…and then see what happens?”
Royal nodded, backing away from the counter, “All right, whatever you say.” He turned his back on him, reaching up to pull two clean mugs from the cupboard. He set them down in front of the still dripping pot, which he then flipped off before pouring some of the hot caramel colored liquid into the mugs.
“Sugar or milk?”
“Just some milk,” Jacob slid back onto his stool, clasping his hands on the top of the counter. He watched Royal pull the carton from the fridge and pour a little into each mug before setting one in front of him. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” Royal pulled out a spoon to stir some sugar into his own mug before leaning against the counter top across the kitchen from him.
They sipped the coffee in silence until Royal tossed the last few dregs of his into the sink, and set the mug upside down in the steel basin and leaning back against the counter.
“So…we going to end it at that tonight?”
“I don’t know, are we?” Jacob got up from the stool to set his mug in the sink next to Royal’s.
“It’s up to you, Boss.” Royal raised an eyebrow. “You’re the one who isn’t so sure about his sexuality at this point.”
“I know I find it really hard to say no to you, sexuality be damned,” Jacob looped his thumbs through his own belt loops, standing closer than necessary to Royal. He hadn’t noticed before that the foreman had a couple of inches on him, height wise. He was also a little broader in the shoulder, and his hair was a rich brown color. This late in the day, he was starting to show a little more than a five-o’clock-shadow.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think that was an invitation,” Royal reached up to put his hand against Jacob’s chest.
“You going to accept it?”
“I just might,” Royal stood up tall and pressed his lips to Jacob’s again. Without the bar-top between them, he could grab Jacob around the waist and hoist him up onto the clear counter top. While their mouths pressed together, their hands got to separate jobs. Jacob’s began to unbutton Royal’s shirt, pulling it out of the waistband of his jeans. He pushed it back over his shoulders and Royal let it fall to the floor before picking Jacob back up off of the counter.
“Where are we going?” Jacob wrapped his arms around his neck, surprised.
“Couch,” Royal found his mouth again after dumping him rather unceremoniously onto the dark burgundy sofa. “Hmm, you’re hard.”
“You too,” Jacob nodded, his hands moving down to unbutton Royal’s jeans. “We should do something about that.”
“I’m patient. I’d rather help you out first,” Royal sat back for a second, pulling Jacob’s t-shirt over his head. He paused, his fingers slowly unbuttoning the well-fitting denim. “This is sort of your last chance to escape. Second thoughts?”
“Leaving is the furthest idea from my mind right now.” Jacob gasped, tipping his head back as Royal dipped his mouth to suck the thing fabric still covering him. He didn’t protest as Royal sank back from the couch, tugging him along to pull off the rest of his clothes. The first gasp was matched when Royal’s mouth wrapped around pure skin.
“Don’t get too excited, Boss. We’re just getting’ started.”

Untitled

Note: I wrote this (apparently) back in November. I may or may not have been watching Queer as Folk at the time… But I re-read it and I actually rather like it.

Untitled

It know this sounds weird, but ever since I watched an old show on the internet, I’ve wanted to sleep with an under-aged guy. Sure, that would be kind of make me a pedophile, but I’m not that old! Only twenty…two…almost three. But that isn’t why I wanted to do it. I wanted to do it because there is a sense of broken innocence in sleeping with someone who is still widely considered to be a child. Even when I was in high school, I considered age to just be a number. I was
attracted to guys my own age, but I was also interested in the guys older then me.

It was weird, the first time I stepped into the loud, crowded club. Music thumped off every surface. Warm, overheated bodies pulsed together. I felt like I had just stepped into a paradise. But it was a dangerous paradise. More like a purgatory as I found out. I never drank or anything at the club. Not after I found the guy passed out in the bathroom; overdosed on E. No one seemed to care as the guy just laid there. I knew I didn’t want that guy to ever be me.

I made friends though. Mostly with the guys who hit on me, but I wasn’t actually interested in then being anymore then friends. But for the most part, it was okay. They were good people I could hang out with; a bunch of guys I knew wouldn’t leave me for dead on a bathroom floor.

“You need to loosen up,” David had his mouth pressed practically against my ear so IC ould hear him over the thump-thump-thump of the music. “Go get a drink! Just one won’t kill you, you know!”

“I never thought it would,” I shook my head. “I don’t want one, thanks. If I ended up going home with a guy, I like to do it sober.”

“Michael, Michael, Michael…you are such a prude!”

“Hey, just the fact that I am willing to go home with a stranger negates my being a prude,” I joked, but it was kind of true. Maybe I was a prude. That would probably explain a lot of the shit going on in my head.

David rolled his eyes at me. “You’re never going to come out of this shell of yours.”

“I’m not in—,” my eyes flitted over the crowd of bodies and fell on the most beautiful face I had ever seen. It surprised me. He was new. He popped out from all of the other faces; most striking was that he was young. Very young; like he shouldn’t have even been allowed in. He reached up to brush dark locks of hair behind his ear and I noticed the bright red stamp that marked him as Under-21. Even so, he had a long necked, dark brown beer bottle between two fingers.

“I’ll be right back, Dave.”

David watched me walk away and I could feel his eyes on the back of my head. I climbed the stairs to where the raven god was standing, watching the writhing bodies on the floor.

“If the bouncers catch you with that, they’ll throw you out,” I had to press close to him so he could hear me. My hand wrapped around bottle.

“It was a gift. I figured it would be rude to refuse,” he didn’t have any qualms about moving as close to me as I did to him.

“I’m Michael. You’re new.”

He grinned, “Thanks for the notice. I wasn’t sure what my standing was.”

“What’s your name?” I asked. I didn’t think twice about running my hand up his arm. One of the simplest things I could do to show interest.

“Ben,” he held out his hand to shake. “Ben Mathews.”

“Well Ben-Ben Mathews –what do you say to a dance?”

He looked up over the crowd, “Down there?”

I laughed, “It’s kind of hard to dance on the stairs.”

“Um, sure,” he nodded. He let me take his hand and lead him down the steps to the edge of the floor. I noticed that he pressed close to me, like he was shying away from the rest of the room; like I was the only person in a room of crazies.

“Something wrong?”

“I should warn you…I can’t dance to save my life.”

“That’s okay, I’m crap too.” I smiled. I was showing my teeth –a genuine smile. As soon as I realized, I stopped, turning my face away. “We can be shitty dancers together.”

“You have a really cute smile,” he grinned.

“Shut the fuck up before you make me blush,” I shook my head. “So, how old are you?”

“Well, I can’t lie and tell you twenty-one,” he flashed the red stamped hand. “Don’t tell anyone –I’m seventeen. Almost eighteen!” He added the last part as though it was an afterthought. To reassure me that he wasn’t totally jailbait. But even so, I was more intrigued.

“You ever come to a place like this before?” I asked. I folded his hands into mine and shifted closer.

“Um, a couple of times. I’m not sure if I like it or not… I’ve seen you here before. You just haven’t noticed me before.”

“Sorry, I must have been temporarily blind. You’re the most gorgeous little twink I’ve seen in my life.”

“Now you’re making me blush.”

“That’s okay; it suits you. You’re young enough to make it look cute.”

“You’re cute too. You’re the reason I came back here. I…I was hoping you’d notice me.”

“Do you want to get out of here?” I asked. “We could go some place more quiet. The café down the street…my place.”

He grinned, “How about we see how it goes at the café? And then if it goes well, we can think about going to your place.”

I nodded, “Alright. Let’s go.” I laced my fingers with his and tugged him long behind me. We stepped out from the club and walked down the street to the Pride Café. We were in the heart of “gay” part of town. The best part of town.

“So,” I slid into a booth, “what brings you into this part of town?”

He shrugged, “Just exploring. You know, feeling out new opportunities.”

I nodded, “Sure, but I at least waited until I was legal.”

He nodded,, “Yeah, but once you try it, it’s kind of hard to stop.”

“Right. So, tell me about you, Ben.”

“What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know, everything.”

“I go to Jefferson High. I’m a senior. I’m going to the U in the fall for Media Arts. I like to draw…and write. That’s it really.”

I nodded, “Okay.”

“What about you?”

“I work here part-time. Classes at the U for nothing in particular. I like comics, but I can’t draw for shit.”

We looked up as one of the night waitresses came up to get our order. I got coffee and a piece of pie. He ordered a soda and donut.

“So, how many times have you come down here?” I asked, nursing my hot cup between my palms.

“I think this is like my third time. I just like to observe. Watch the crowd. Get the feel for how other guys like me act.”

“You can act anyway you like. You don’t have to find a stereotype to fit in to.”

“That’s not what I mean,” he shook his head. “I like to people-watch.”

“Okay, I get it.”

He sipped his soda and licked the glaze from the pastry off his fingers. Watching his tongue circle his fingertips made me lard. I suppressed my groan, biting my lip. I wanted to take him home and fuck him two ways from Sunday.

We chatted some more while we drink and ate. When we finished, I grabbed the bill and paid. We shuffled back outside and meandered towards my car.

“So, can I give you a ride home?”

“What about your place?”

“Really?”

I wasn’t sure why I was surprised. I had been hoping that the last hour or so would be leading up to such a request.

“Yeah, of course. I mean, that’s part of the point, right?”

I tilted my head to the side, looking at him quizzically, “Ben…you’ve never gone home with a guy before, have you?”

He blushed, “No.”

“Okay, well…you understand though, right?”

“Understand what?”

“You understand that when I ask you to come home with me, I want to have sex with you.”

“Oh…yeah, of course.”

“But you’ve never gone home with a guy before.”

“I just said that.”

“Are you…you know.”

“What?”

“A virgin?”

“Oh…um,” he reached up, pulling on his ear.

“It’s okay,” I smiled. “If you’re sure, just say you want to come with me. Otherwise, I’ll drive you home.”

He thought for a second before looking straight at me. The sharpness of his eyes, so determined, both surprised and aroused me. “I want to go home with you.”

“Okay. Get in.”



“This is a really nice place,” he looked around, shrugging out of his jacket. “This must set you back a pretty-penny.”

I shrugged, “Not my money. Take off your shirt.” I hung up my coat and went to the kitchen. “Drink?”

“No thanks,” he shook his head. I watched him pull his shirt over his head. A smooth expanse of skin –just like I thought. “Um, is this okay?”

“Perfect,” I nodded. “C’mon, the bedroom is this way.” I grabbed the front of his jeans, tugging him along.”

“So,” I pushed him towards the bed. “Here’s how this works. I blow you. Then I fuck you. We both get off. You can stay over if you want, but considering…I don’t endorse it.”

“I told my parents I was staying at a friend’s house,” He leaned up on his palms. “It’s not a problem.”

“Good,” I nodded. “Now, you have thirty seconds to back out before I rip off your pants. Anything to say?”

He shook his head, “No…well, you know.”

“Know what?” I stepped forward, kneeling over him and undoing his jeans. He felt good and sinewy under my hands. Delicious.

“Um…be careful, okay?”

I grinned, rolling my eyes, “I know my way around.” He looked nervous so I dropped my carnal act. “I’ll take care of you, okay? I’m no Jack Pfifer, but I know what I’m doing.”

“Who is Jack Pfifer?”

“Only the hottest guy it he city,” I shook my head. “Just relax and enjoy, okay?” I leaned up, pressing a kiss to his mouth. I groaned. His tongue was sweet. I could taste every drink he had had that night. Beer, a cosmo, maybe even a martini. He gasped a little as I pulled down his jeans and boxers. I didn’t even think about it before taking him into my mouth. He swore, tipping his head back. I grinned, stroking my hands up his stomach.

“Oh Jesus,” he reached up, pressing his palms against the headboard. “What the hell are you doing with your tongue?”

I laughed, “It’s called a blowjob. If you’re a good boy, I might teach you a few things about them.”

His gasps and groans were melodic and wonderful to the ear. I pulled his clothes the rest of the way off before straightening up to kick off my shoes and peeling off my socks. My shirt pulled over my head and got tossed away. I pushed my pants over my hips. He looked up at me appreciatively.

“Wow, you’re chest is about as impressive as your apartment.”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment…but it’s not the feature I’d really like to draw your attention to.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Am I supposed to be looking at your dick? ‘Cause to be honest, it’s pretty great too.”

“You’re pretty good with flattery,” I shifted down onto the bed. “You sure you’ve never done this?”

He shrugged, “I told you –I watch things. I kind of know what’s supposed to happen.”

“Ah, but what about what you want to happen? Are you really going to let me boss you around like this?” I opened the side table drawer and pulled out a condom and some lube. He watched with interest as I ripped open the foil and unrolled the sheath over my member. He hadn’t even touched me and I was harder then he was. “Turn over.”

“…What if I say no?”

“I’ll fuck you right where you sit. That’s a pretty good position too,” I shrugged. The drop of lube was cool, but it just made me harder. “It’s up to you how you want it.”

I stroked myself, slicking up the lube while I let him think it over. Finally, he shifted over onto his stomach. I couldn’t help but grin again, kneeling over him. “Good boy. You’d make a pretty good, given the proper master.”

“That’s a little scary…”

“You’ll learn to push aside your inhibitions,” I promised. “This will probably hurt, so you just need to relax. I’ll take it slow.”

He nodded, folding is arms under his head. He stayed still as I pushed into him. I watched his mouth open in the start of an involuntary protest. Then it turned into a vehement agreement. He shifted, reaching back and grabbing my ass to urge me forward. I leaned down, kissing his back. The noises he made in his throat were like none I had ever heard before.

“Fuck this pansy shit –do it harder.”

“You’ve got quite the mouth on you.”

“I’m just telling you what I want,” he glanced over his shoulder at me. “I should take some kind of control back, right?”

“Of course; but be careful of what you wish for, Newbie. You might get too much.” I pushed harder into him. He squeezed his eyes shut and gave forth a throaty groan.

“It doesn’t matter –really fuck me. Like you would any other guy.”

“Any other guy, I wouldn’t have thought twice –but if you want it,” I pulled free, shifting him onto his back. He looked a little startled but I placated his worry with a kiss while I pulled his legs up over my shoulders. I leaned back, kissing the sides of his knees while I pushed back inside.

“Holy Jesus fuck,” he reached up, gripping the headboard again. His hard-on pressed up between our bodies. His open month was a dark, wet cavern just waiting for my tongue. I tasted those sweet noises from his throat, kissing him until I was forced to surface for air.

The apartment felt hot and I could feel the sweat beading on my skin. I reached up, brushing his hair off his forehead. It slicked back, warm with heat from the sex.

“Harder,” he breathed. He reached up, pulling his fingers through my hair. I picked up the pace, making him shudder with every thrust. His head tipped back, exposing his throat. I bit down softly on smooth, pale skin. “Fuck, I’m gonna come.”

I laughed as the sticky white substance shot spectacularly out onto his chest. I kept pumping, not far behind. When I finished, I rolled away. He looked embaressed, his hand hovering over the mess on his skin like he wanted to brush it away, but wasn’t sure if he should.

“Wait,” I pulled off the condom, tossing it into the trash. I leaned over him and licked a line up his stomach. He shivered. It was still boiling in the room, but since we parted, I could feel the temperature starting to drop back down to normal. After his mess was cleaned up, I shifted off the bed. “How about that drink?”

“Just some water.”

“Sure,” I nodded. “Just wait that pretty ass of yours right here.” I leaned down to kiss him before stepping out into the kitchen. When I came back, he was pulling his clothes back on. “Going somewhere?”

“N-no…”

“Then stay naked,” I pressed a kiss to his lips and the bottle of water into his hand.

“A-are you sure?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Not like there’s anyone here but us.”

“Okay,” he nodded, pulling his shorts back off. He sat down on the edge of the bed. “So, what now?”

I hummed, coming behind him and kissing his neck. “Well, give me twenty minutes and we can probably do it again. I’ll make it last longer the next time.” He shied away, opening the water to take a drink. My eyebrows furrowed together, “What? Didn’t you like it?”

“That’s not it!” He shook his head, “It’s…I know we just had sex and that was great, but it’s not like it meant anything.”

“Sex doesn’t always have to mean anything.”

“Doesn’t it? Even if it’s just that we’re both a couple of hot, horny guys with nice dicks and tight asses who like to screw around?”

“You’re a little uptight, aren’t you?”

“I’m sorry, I just…I guess I imagined my first time to be more…”

“Romantic?” I laid back against the pillows. “For love? I did too. Then I realized after my first boyfriend…it’s not worth it.”

“What’s not?”

“Love. It’s for pussies. Leave it to the heteros and the lesbians.”

“That’s kind of cynical, isn’t it?”

“That’s just experience talking. You’ll learn,” I tugged him back into the pillows with me. “But, let’s focus on keeping a sexy mood. You’re depressing me. Let me blow your mind.”

“Again?”

I grinned, kissing him, “Yeah. Again.”

Removing Dark Little Town

Some may have noticed if they are subscribed to my Yahoo!Group or read my stories on AFF or FictionPress that I have removed the original Dark Little Town Series.

This is because I am going through a heavy editing process with it, hopefully for future publication. I wanted to make sure there would be no problems with that, so I opted to remove the story in its entirely from the internet at large.

If you have copies saved to your computers (for whatever reason), I simply ask that you delete your files. I don't suspect anyone would have them, but you never know.

Thank you for reading my stories, and I encourage you to continue doing so. I would also love to hear feed back --even critical feedback, from people who like my writing (and those who hate it...).

Samma

Polar Opposites (Possible Submission Peice?)

Polar Opposites

I haven’t eaten in three days. Or at least, nothing of real substance. I am starving and for no reason other then the fact that I want to. I am already pretty thing. It’s not like I’m going this so I can feel good about myself. I know that what I’m doing is dangerous, but the truth of the matter is, I don’t care.

I’m partaking in other risky behaviors as well. Overall, I’m just not being a well rounded individual. My first year of college and I’m just fucking my life up. Because I don’t care.

And the saddest part of this whole thing is that I should care. I have some good shit going on for me right now, but all I can think about is drinking, fucking, and barely scraping by. Especially the fucking. I love the fucking.

Even now, from my little corner of the campus library, I’m scoping out my next conquest. There’s a straight guy, not even worth my time, sitting in a chair across from me. A professor, looking very out of his element, is at a computer a few feet away. A couple of girls are whispering in the stacks, just out of my line of vision. Usually, this is a hot spot for picking up cute guys, but tonight, it’s cold.

As I get up to go, I see him, He’s gorgeous. He’s looking frustrated, gazing at the numbering system on the end of the shelves, and then at a slip of paper in his hand. I breath for a second before making my move.

“Need some help?”

“Um, I just don’t understand Library of Congress, I guess.”

He’s so shy, it hurts and I’m excited just thinking about how great his skin is going to feel against mine.

“Here, let me see,” I hold out my hand for the slip, which he offers to me. “Ah, it’s this way.” I beckon him to follow me through the stacks. A moment later, I hand him the small GLBT-interest book he was looking for.

“It’s, uh, it’s for a class,” he stammers to explain.

I shrug, “Whatever. Nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Um, I’m Derrick,” he holds out his hand.

“Luther,” I shake it. “What do you say to some recreation, Derrick?” I raise a suggestive eyebrow.

“R-recreation?”

I lean close to him, “I’m so horny right now…and the bathrooms up here are great for hooking up.”

“I, I’m sorry,” he shakes his head. “I don’t really do that kind of thing.”

I almost can’t suppress the displeased groan, but I manage. I give him a soft little smile and a shrug, “That’s OK. Just thought I’d ask.” I give him my best ‘no hard feelings’ grin and go back to pack up my bag. I take my time, like I’m giving him the chance to change his mind. But he doesn’t, so I make my way down the stairs, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

Once outside, the cool air feels good against my skin. I decide that food would be a good idea. It’s not like I’m trying to starve myself to death, so some solids in my stomach would be excellent. Especially if I wasn’t going to get any sexual nourishment.

“L-luther?”

I turn at the quiet voice that had followed me. My heart leaps, hoping that he has changed his mind.

“Yeah?”

“Um, do you want to have dinner with me?” He asks. I know it has taken him a lot of courage to be able to follow me like this and ask, and that just drives me even more insane. “I don’t really have any friends, and you know, just ‘cause I don’t want to have sex with you—”

I stopped him, “You’re babbling. I was just headed to Commons for dinner, why don’t you come with me?”

“O-okay,” a grin breaks across his face and he’s even cuter. It totally pains me that I am now entering into a totally platonic relationship with him.

“So,” I clear my throat s we start walking again, this time with him by my side. “Is that stutter real, or are you just nervous?”

“Oh, uh, well…I’m nervous as hell,” he begins to turn red.

“How can a boy as cute as you be so nervous? And not have friends? That is ridiculous.”

“I used to be…big.”

“You were fat?”

He nods, “Yeah. I got teased a lot in elementary and middle school, so I don’t really make friends that easily. But I started to diet and exercise in high school and I lost it all.”

I can’t help but imagine what this little demi-god had looked like as a fat kid. I mean, he can’t have been too bad, if he lost it all in high school. He must have realized what I am thinking, because he chimes, like he was reading my thoughts.

“I used to not be able to shop in the Young Men’s section of stores. My Mom finally gave up and just shopped at this little local place called Hefty’s. I was pretty huge.”

“How the hell did you lose it all then?”

“Exercise. Low-fat diet. It actually came off pretty easy once I stopped stuffing my face every time some kid called me Lardo or Tubby.”

“Aw,” a little frown makes me pout. “That’s sad.”

“Yeah, well, kids are cruel.” He turns to look down the street as we make our way to cross.

“Trust me, I am not like those kids. I think you’re hot,” I grin and take his hand in mine. I notice he kinds of tenses up, but I don’t say anything about it, instead tugging him towards the dining hall.

The Commons is pretty quiet when we go in. I drop his hand and pretend not to notice when he rubs his palm against his thigh, like I am some kind of dirty tramp with the gall to touch him or something.

He follows behind me like a puppy and we both pick up trays. We each get a burger and fries. He adds a salad and a side of cottage cheese to his tray, while I opt for a bowl of soup and a piece of cake. To drink, we both get a glass of coke –then he gets a chocolate milk while I get a juice.

I kind of figure this much food will be a bad idea, but I also don’t want to rouse any kind of suspicion. We pay for our meals and then slid into a table near the back.

“So, do you proposition guys in the library a lot, or am I just special?”

“Well, if I tell you what you want to hear, are you more likely to sleep with me?” I raise an eyebrow, coyly.

“Um, probably not,” he shakes his head. “It’s not that I don’t find you attractive, but…well, I don’t have sex.” I must look confused, because he feels the need to continue. “I mean, it’s not that I can’t. I just don’t. It’s like a phobia, I guess. I like sex! I know like everything there is to know about it –gay or straight. Ask me anything, seriously.”

“Wait –you don’t have sex, but…?”

“I read a lot. It’s like…a hobby.”

“I think that is one of the most fucked up things I have ever heard.”

His face is totally red and it’s just fueling the licking flames of desire in the pit of my stomach. He is driving me mad. How could a guy so cute be such an innocent? Former fatty or not.

I watch him lean over his tray and carefully eat his cottage cheese. Then he carefully assembles his burger. No-Fat mayo on the top bun, layer of spinach, two tomatoes, a sprinkle of minced onions, and a little extra mayo on the burger to hold the toppings together. But then he doesn’t eat it. He moves instead to his salad –spinach leaves, low-fat French dressing, and shredded cheddar cheese.

I’m not even hungry anymore, amazed with watching him eat. He shifts his glasses, blows, and plates around on his tray. He keeps his head down until he realizes I’m watching him, just drinking my coke.

“Something wrong?”

I shake my head, “No, not especially.”

“Then, could you stop watching me? It’s a little weird.”

“And you’re a little OCD.”

There is that goddamn blush again. It makes me want to pick him up and bend him over his chair. But I don’t think that he would be too keen on that idea.

“Maybe, just a little.”

“You’re very methodical,” I shrug. “I’m not making fun of you. It’s cute.”

“It’s not cute,” he rolls his eyes. “It’s obnoxious.”

“It’s endearing.”

“You just say that because you think you want to have sex with me.”

“I think? No, no, no. I know I want to have sex with you.” I finally take a bite of my plain burger. My stomach seems pleased, even if my tastebuds aren’t overly stimulated. “I don’t sleep with just anyone,” I tell him. “I’m rather easy, but you gotta be willing to play by my rules. You gotta met my criteria. Picking up guys is harder then you might think.”

“I never said anything about that. I just mean, you don’t want to have sex with ‘me’. You want to have sex with my body. You don’t actually care anything about ‘me’.”

I lean back in my chair, processing what he has just said. It made a lot of sense. I didn’t really give a crap at all about the guys I slept with. Most of them, I probably couldn’t even put a name to a face. And that was bad. Really bad. My head finally clicked together all of my dangerous activities over the last couple of months and I found a myriad of questions running through my head.

Had I used protection that first time? Did I swallow that one time with that guy in the Tech Ed building? What about that kid down the hall in the dorms? When was the last time I checked the expiration date on my stash of condoms?

“Luther? Are you okay? I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

“I’m not mad,” I shake my head.

“Are you sure? You look mad.”

“Mad at myself, not at you,” I shake my head again. “I’m just realizing I’m kind of a fuck up…and generally, a really bad person.”

He frowns, “You’re not a bad person.”

“You don’t even know me. And you should count yourself lucky that you said you weren’t interested in me –”

“I never said that I wasn’t interested in you. I just said I don’t have sex.”

“Whatever. Be glad.”

His frown deepens, “Do you have any idea what it’s like to be a nineteen year old virgin? And not like by choice either. I really wish I could be more like you.”

“More like me?”

“You may have noticed, I’m not exactly normal,” he raises an eyebrow. “I’d give anything to be flirty and promiscuous like you. But I can’t, because if I were to try that…it would just turn out horribly wrong.”

“Are you religious or something?”

He shakes his head, “Not at all. Just painfully shy and incapable of physical contact.”

“You let me hold your hand,” I point out.

“I let you, but I didn’t like it.”

I hum, trying to understand, but having trouble. “So…how do you do it?” I finally ask, “How do you abstain?”

“Umm, I don’t know. I guess I just kind of have become a shut-in. But, I obviously don’t proposition people, and people don’t proposition me.”

“Even people you find attractive?”

He looks shocked, “Especially not people I find attractive! I’m no Casanova! I stay in the background and try not to be noticed.”

“Well, that’s no way to get laid,” I roll my eyes.

“I want my first time to be special,” he looks down at his tray. His face is turning pink again. “I know that sounds stupid, but I want to be love, you know?”

“Honey, it could be years before you fall in love.”

“I can wait,” he shrugs, looking up at me again. “I mean, I don’t think I’m the kind of person who will find their soul mate and that’s going to be only person I’m ever with. I don’t want to be that kind of person. I want to fall in love. I want to have my heart broken. Does that sound weird?”

“No…not really.”

After we parted, I thought about what he said. And I realized, that maybe he had the right idea. He wasn’t saying no to me because he wanted to. He wasn’t even putting down the general idea of sex. He had a right to a ‘special’ first time. Deserved it even. And as I thought about it, the more I realized, that I had always wanted the same thing he did. To love, lose, and live to love again.