JJJ Ranch: Short Story #1

Patrick Duncan’s truck knew every bump and pothole on the way to the Triple J ranch. The back end was filled with barbed wire and fence posts that lurched as the tires moved from pavement to gravel down the driveway of the ranch owned by his surrogate parents –Royal Greves and Jacob Trenton. He’d gone to college a few hours away on scholarships gotten a degree in Agriculture and then come back to work full-time at the Triple J. Since Theresa and Kennedy had moved closer to the older Greves, he’d moved into the old Foreman’s house and nothing much else had really changed.
He was twenty-three now. His hair was still pulled back into the simple braid, although it was much longer now, trailing almost all the way down to his butt. He was still as slim and defined as that wiry teenager that Royal had taken pity on at the side of the road that rainy August day seven year ago. The idea of leaving had entered his head a few times over those years, but he’d never done it, and they’d never asked him about it. It was just assumed that he was staying, like most everything that wandered onto the Triple J.
“Hey,” Royal was playing fetching with Hoshi and Sophia in the dirt between the houses. “You have any problems with the pick-up?”
“Nope,” Patrick slid out of the truck, shoving his keys into his pocket. “Marcy said to stop by later this week with the rest of the payment.”
“Good, good,” Royal nodded. He pitched the ball a little farther, sending the dogs scampering towards the barn. “Why don’t you take a break and get some lunch –there’s some leftovers in the house if you’re interested.”
“Thanks, but I’m okay,” Patrick pulled down the tailgate and started transferring the materials to the beat-up farm truck to take them out into the field. “I’ll get started later. Kentucky and I wanted to get repairs done quick as possible; he wants to get home before six tonight or the wife is going to be pissed.”
“All right, but don’t forget to eat. You’re too skinny,” Royal gave him a grin. He pitched the ball one more time before moving to help him with the transfer.
“You only say that ‘cause you’ve certainly started packing on the pounds,” Patrick patted Royal’s stomach. “Maybe you need to start cutting back on the butter, huh?”
“Shut up,” Royal stuck out his tongue. “You’re cheeky for a kid…”
Patrick shrugged and let the conversation drop, focusing on moving the heavy materials. Once they had finished, he slapped the back of the trucks tailgates closed again, and wiped his arm across his forehead. Even with his hair pulled back in the long braid, he was hot.
“So, hot dates lately?” Royal took the ball that Hoshi was pushing into his leg, trying to get him to play again. “We haven’t seen you around the last couple of days.”
“Hardly,” Patrick rolled his eyes. “Just earning my keep around here.”
“You shouldn’t work so hard,” Royal shook his head, the ball arcing toward the barn again.
“Gotta pay you guys back some how.”
“Well, you’ve got as much time as you need to do that; not that we’re asking you to,” Royal reminded him. “Try and relax once in awhile. Get laid; you could use it.”
Patrick rolled his eyes, “Well, I think Grossling is all out of gay guys, so…”
“There’s other places to meet people, men. Besides, I heard Derek Zimmerman is back in town.”
“The last person I want to see is Derek Zimmerman,” Patrick scoffed. “He was fun for about five minutes in high school and I doubt he’s changed very much.”
“No one said you had to fall in love; just…have some fun.”
Patrick hummed, adjusting his hat, “Well, I don’t think I’m going to have fun with a little frat boy like Derek, Royal. But, your suggestion has been heard.”
“That’s all I ask, I suppose.” Royal lifted up his shirt and wiped the sweat off his brow. Patrick averted his eyes, feeling the familiar attraction he felt every time he got a look at Royal’s goods –he found Jacob attractive too, but not nearly as much as Royal. Maybe his surrogate-father was right: he really did need to get laid, and soon. “Come in for dinner around six. I’m making fried chicken.”
“Okay,” Patrick agreed. “I better get out to the fence. Kentucky is probably waiting for me.”
“All right. Be careful –don’t forget your gloves.”
“I won’t,” Patrick sighed. Royal was a good father figure; it was a shame he and Jacob hadn’t gone through the motions of actually raising a child.
Royal and Hoshi walked back toward the house and Patrick climbed into the old truck to make his way out to the field. For once, he wasn’t looking forward to getting his hands dirty. Being out in the open, even with a partner, gave him way too much time to daydream and think…which, when you haven’t had sex in over a year, can get a little too vivid…

“How’d the fencing go?” Royal was just setting the table as Patrick entered the main house by the front door. He took off his hat, hanging it up on a peg before entering the kitchen.
“Good, we finished the west side and got about half-way through the north-side,” he smoothed his palm over the top of his head, smoothing his hair. His braid swished as he took a seat in his usual place at the table. “Where’s Jacob?” He noticed that Royal was only setting two places at the table.
He noticed the little tic in Royal’s jaw as he shrugged, “He’s probably in the office, playing WoW or something.”
“…Are you guys okay?” Patrick had seen them through a few ups-and-downs over the last few years, but it had never lasted very long. Every time he heard them fight –usually over something trivial, he couldn’t help but get this huge ball of tension in his stomach.
“Sure,” Royal nodded. “We’re fine, just…” he trailed off, moving dishes from the counter to the table –a plate of perfectly fried chicken, mashed potatoes, brown gravy, biscuits, and a salad. “You don’t want to hear about our marital problems.”
“I wouldn’t, but you’re not married, so it’s OK,” Patrick gave him a cocky grin. “Really, I’m old enough to take it –I’m not your kid, you can dump your issues on me.”
Royal sighed, sliding into the seat across from him, “I think we’re just…growing apart. Not that we don’t love each other, just that…we need something fresh.”
Patrick gave a little nod, starting to fill up his plate, “Maybe it’s time to take a vacation –you guys have been talking about it. You’ve only been together for ten years; it’s too early to split up.”
Royal smirked, shaking his head, “Smartass. And besides, we can’t afford a vacation right now.”
“Everything still good in the bedroom?”
“Honestly, we haven’t done anything but sleep in there in about three months.”
“What about the living room?”
Royal gave a little chuckle, shaking his head, “Nope, nothing going on in there either.”
“Shit, that’s your favorite spot.”
“Yeah, I know.”
They were quiet while they finished loading up their plates. Patrick took a few bites before he spoke up again. “You think you’re just, I don’t know, bored?”
“Maybe,” Royal shrugged, sampling a bit himself. “We’ve been together ten years, of course we’re a little bored. We know each other’s ins-and-outs. It’s just, how do you get…unbored? Other couples would be having kids, which we don’t really want, or have work or projects, things to that keep them separately grounded. We’ve only got each other, this ranch, this house. And lately, this house feels like a prison.”
“That’s nice,” Jacob entered the kitchen. “Love you too, Babe.” He didn’t even look at the table before walking to the fridge and taking out a beer.
“You can’t walk into the middle of a conversation, Jacob,” Royal followed him with his eyes, soaking up the grey flannel pants and red t-shirt. Jacob’s feet were bare, padding softly on the tile.
“I don’t have to hear the whole conversation to know you’re bitching about me again,” He cracked the top of the beer, flipping the cap onto the counter.
“Would you like some dinner? I figured you were playing your game.”
“I’m not hungry,” Jacob took a short pull from the longneck, leaning against the countertop.
Patrick shifted uncomfortably in his chair. His braid pulled over his shoulder, and he turned the end around in his fingers, in his lap. He could sense the tension in the air, and it was like he was breathing it in, letting it settle in his lungs and just press down on top of him.
“Well, unless you’re just going to stand there and stare us, why don’t you sit down at least?” Royal suggested.
“No, I’m busy –doing actual work, thanks. My life isn’t all fun and games as you seem to think it is,” Jacob pushed up from where he leaned. “Patrick, can you come in the office when you’re done eating?”
“Sure,” Patrick nodded. The weight on his chest just got heavier. “What do you need?”
“Just some tax information; I’m re-doing the payroll info in a new program and I think I misplaced some of your information.”
Patrick nodded. At least he wasn’t getting fired.
Jacob didn’t say anything else, wandering back out of the kitchen. Even once he was gone, the pressure didn’t go away. Royal was stabbing his fork into his chicken, not really looking at him when he cleared his throat.
“I don’t like it when you guys fight; it never seems right. It makes me anxious,” he admitted.
“Don’t let it worry you,” Royal promised. “We’ve fought before and we always get through it.”
“I know,” Patrick nodded. “But like you said, you guys are here all the time. Maybe you just need some time apart?”
“Maybe,” Royal nodded.
“If you need some space, I’ve got extra room,” he nodded towards the general direction of the Foreman’s House across the yard. “A couple nights apart might do you some good.”
“I think we need to have a serious talk before we go quite that far, but thank you for the offer.”
“Any time,” Patrick shrugged.
Royal pushed his plate away and took a drink of his water before pushing up from the table. “You can go ahead and leave your plate when you’re done; I’ll take care of it.”
“Where are you going?”
“Gotta go feed the cats and check on the new babies,” Royal washed his hands at the sink and dried them on a dish towel. “Don’t forget about Jacob.”
“I won’t,” Patrick could still feel that pressure on his chest. He hoped this would all blow over soon; he hated this feeling.
Royal left the kitchen off the back porch and disappeared towards the barn. Patrick shoveled the rest of his food into his mouth before pushing up from the table. He took his and Royal’s plates to the sink, and found room in the fridge for the leftovers before making his way into the office. He knocked on the doorframe and Jacob looked up from the computer screen.
“Hey,” Jacob gave him a smile and waved him in. “Sorry about earlier…”
“It’s okay,” Patrick took a seat in the chair across from the desk. “What did you need for my tax info?”
“Just fill this out –it’s easier to plug it in off the sheet,” He handed him a clipboard and a pen. “Is he still pissed?” He nodded towards the kitchen.
“I don’t think he’s pissed; I think he’s upset, but I can’t really say what’s bothering him,” Patrick started plugging in information on the sheet. “You want to give me your two-cents?”
Jacob shrugged, “He’s right –we’re just tired of being together, I guess.”
“Tired of being together or of each other?”
“Both maybe –he’s right, this house is a prison and we’ve both signed on for a life sentence.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way,” Patrick shrugged. “Maybe you should, I don’t know, take a break. Re-access your relationship, see if you can withstand another ten years together.”
“I think we should just start fucking other people, that’d take off some of the sexual tension at least,” Jacob raked his fingers through his hair. “But you don’t want to hear about that.”
Patrick gave a little laugh, shaking his head, “Well, I’m not surprised –but, if you both want to do it, why aren’t you? I remember a time when you guys could barely keep your hands off one another, and now…it’s like, every time I see you, it’s just…hostile.”
“I’m sorry,” Jacob shook his head. “I guess a lot of it is just time –whenever I want to do it, he’s not interested, when he wants to do it, I’m not interested. It used to be easy to cajole a quick fuck out of one another, but…now it’s like been-there-done-that. I’m not saying I don’t love him, I do –just as much if not more then when we met. I just…you get sick of sleeping next to the same person every single night.”
“I wouldn’t know that problem,” Patrick shook his head. “I envy you guys; I wish I could feel the way you do right now.”
“Don’t,” Jacob shook his head. “It was fun for the first seven years. The last three…not so much fun.”
“I’d give anything to even keep someone for that long,” Patrick handed him back the completed clipboard. “You guys have something special; rivaled only by your brother and Dan. You’ll work it out.” He pushed up from the chair and flipped his braid back over his shoulder. “If either one of you needs space, and I already told Royal this, I’ve got plenty of room at my place. Maybe a couple days apart would do you guys some good? Talk it over –don’t argue, but talk it over.” He shoved his hands into his pockets before striding out of the office. He was sticking his nose where it didn’t belong, but sometimes that was what those two needed.
Royal leaned in the doorway to the office after he saw Patrick go back to his place. He’d watched him, toss his hat down onto the kitchen counter and pull a can of soda out of the fridge before plopping down on the couch, through the window. Jacob glanced up at him from where he was filling in the missing information from Patrick’s tax information.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” he repeated. He looked away as Royal took the seat that Patrick had vacated.
The silence between them spoke volumes. Love, torment, pain, boredom, even panic, and especially worry. Neither was ready to call to quits, but at the same time…
“I’m sorry for earlier,” Jacob finally pushed away from the computer. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”
Royal shook his head, “You weren’t meant to hear that; I would have snapped too.”
“But you were right; I don’t like hearing it, but…this house is a prison,” Jacob folded his hands behind his head. “I don’t know what to do, Royal. I don’t know what to say.”
“I don’t know either. If there were anything, I’d do it in a heartbeat,” Royal assured him. He leaned forward, leaning his elbows on his knees. “But, babe, I just…I don’t know what to do anymore.”
“I know,” Jacob nodded.
“I love you, you know that. The last thing I want in the world is to call this over, but…lately, it feels like that’s the only option left.”
“I don’t want to end it either,” Jacob stood up, moving around the desk to lean in front of his long-time lover. “So, let’s not say that.”
“Then what do you want, Jacob?”
“I don’t know,” he shook his head. “Just…a break. Some time apart from being ‘us’. I don’t want you to leave, Royal. You are essential to everything that goes on around here. We said when we started that if anything happened, nothing else would change and I want to stand by that now.”
“I understand,” Royal nodded. “I agree. You’d crash and burn and if you tried to do this on your own now,” he smiled to let him know that he was joking.
“I’ll sleep in the guest room tonight,” Jacob reached out, running his hands through Royal’s hair. His fingers trailed across his temples and then down his cheek. He was just starting to get a little scruff around his jaw line that prickled at his fingers.
“You don’t have to do that,” Royal shook his head. He reached up, his fingers wrapping around Jacob’s wrist. He turned his face into his palm, pressing his lips against Jacob’s fingers. “Patrick offered me a place to crash, I’ll go over there.”
“You don’t have to,” Jacob shook his head. “We have room here.”
“I need to get out of the house,” Royal pushed up from the chair. He pressed his forehead against Jacob’s, looking down into his eyes. His fingers pressed to Jacob’s hips and he held him close. “Just for a little while.”
Jacob opened his mouth to say something, then promptly closed it again.
“What?” Royal pressed.
“I don’t want you to leave.”
“Babe,” Royal gave a small shake of his head. “I’m not leaving, I’m just going next door.”
Jacob’s eyes cast downward. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before he nodded, “Okay. If that’s what you want.”
“I’m just going to grab some clothes; I have to be up early in the morning,” he pressed his lips to Jacob’s temple. “Eat something, please?”
Jacob nodded, “Okay.”
“And don’t drink anymore tonight,” Royal chided. He tilted Jacob’s chin up, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “I know that’s your third one.”
Jacob gave a short nod, “I know.”
Royal kissed him again, a harder one this time, longer and a little lazier. When he broke it off, he brushed his thumb over Jacob’s lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll make you lunch,” he nuzzled Jacob’s neck, breathing in his smell. “And maybe…maybe things will look different.”
“I think it will take more than one night, Royal.”
“I know,” Royal sighed. He made himself take a step back and stop touching his now former (he supposed) lover. “I, uh, I’m just going to go grab some stuff and then I’ll be out of here, okay?”
Jacob nodded, sinking back onto the edge of the desk. He kept his eyes down as Royal exited the office and took the stairs to their bedroom. He let out the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding and rubbed his palms against his eyes, willing back the tears that were threatening to spill. He didn’t leave the office until he heard Royal leave a few minutes later. Then he left himself back in to the kitchen. Hoshi padded out of the laundry room to see what was up. He pushed his nose into Jacob’s leg and looked up expectantly at him.
Jacob gave him a smile, and reached down to pat his head, “C’mon Hoshi, we can curl up on the couch and watch TV.” He went to the fridge for one last beer before following through on the offer.

Patrick looked up from the book he’d started reading when he heard the three short raps on the door. No one ever knocked around here; ever. They just let themselves in. He was half-way to the door when it opened and Royal stuck his head inside.
“Hey, sorry –ah, your offer still stands, right?” He lifted up the small duffle he’d tossed some clothes and his toothbrush in.
“Of course,” Patrick nodded. “That was quick.”
“Yeah, well…” Royal shrugged. He set his bag down by the door and closed the door behind himself. “I’m a little confused about what just happened to be honest. I’m not sure if we’re still together, or just cooling off. Nothing was really decided.”
“I’m sorry,” Patrick gave him a brave smile. “You want a drink? You look like you could use one.”
“Why do you have alcohol? You don’t drink,” Royal teased.
“Yeah, but I know people who do. What do you want? Beer? Whiskey? Rum? Tequila?”
“I’m good, thank you,” Royal yawned, stretching his arms behind his head. Patrick turned his eyes upward as his shirt rose to expose a sliver of flat stomach. “I think I actually want to get some sleep.”
“Sure, the second bedroom is all made up,” Patrick nodded towards the stairs. “It’s kind of early though, isn’t it?”
“I’ve got to be up early in the morning.” Royal shook his head. “Kentucky has off, so I’ll be helping you out with the fencing.”
“Okay,” Patrick nodded. “I’ll see you in the morning then.”
“G’night –and thanks, for being understanding about this whole thing. I know, this is probably the last thing you want to be involved in.”
“I just want you guys to be happy again,” Patrick shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Any way I can help out.”
“You’re a great help,” Royal assured him. “Just keep being you, kid.” He pressed his palm to the top of Patrick’s head. He hesitated for a second before pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Don’t stay up too late; you’re working hard tomorrow.”
Patrick felt the familiar flush rise up his cheeks that he got every time Royal got close to him. “I won’t, I promise.” He felt like the gawky seventeen year old again.
“G’night,” Royal picked his bag up, hoisting it over his shoulder. Patrick watched him move up the stairs. Suddenly, he really felt like he could use a drink; which was ironic given that he’d never had alcohol in his entire life.
He heard the door to the extra bedroom upstairs close and he padded back into the living room, sitting back down on the couch. He sighed, pulling his braid over his shoulder and unwrapping the rubber band. He pulled his fingers through the braid, loosening his hair. It held the faintest of familiar weaves and he pulled his brush out of the side drawer to pull it through the ends before pulling his fingers all the way through it. He let it fall down around his shoulders, wrapping around his shoulders as he leaned back, resting his head on the squishy back of the couch. He’d sit down here long enough to let Royal fall asleep, then he’d try and catch some shut-eye himself.

“Sleep well?” Royal was in the kitchen making breakfast when Patrick rolled out of bed at seven AM. “Hope you don’t mind; I just took it upon myself to cook.”
Patrick shook his head, “No, it’s all right.” He went and poured himself a mug of coffee. He dumped in a spoonful of sugar and some vanilla-flavored creamer before taking a sip. His hair was still damp, making his shirt stick to his back. He set his mug down on the counter before reaching up to divide his hair into three parts. His hands moved of their own accord until he could wrap the band around the end. He flipped it back over his shoulder.
“You look good with your hair down,” Royal offered him a plate, stacked with pancakes, eggs, and a few pieces of bacon.
“Thanks; I’ve been thinking about chopping it off though. It’s almost getting too long for me to braid myself.”
“No, don’t do that,” Royal couldn’t help but reach out, pulling the braid through his fingers. “It suits you too much. “
Patrick felt the warmth rising up through his stomach. He could smell the farm on Royal –a mixture of dirt, hay, straw, and cow. He barely noticed it anymore, but so up-close-and-personal…it was possibly one of the best smells in the entire world.
“I hear that a lot,” he took a step back, setting the plate down on the table and taking a seat. He picked up a fork and took a first bite. “Oh man, this is good.”
Royal smiled, sitting down across from him with his own plate, “Nothing special.”
“When you live on my cooking, anything is spectacular,” Patrick rolled his eyes. “Instant Ramen, pasta, and the occasional pizza.”
“You know you can eat with us at the main house any time you want,” Royal reminded him.
“I know,” Patrick shrugged. He poured some syrup over the top of his pancakes before cutting into the stack.
“So, everyone is fed, horses are in the corral. Sam and Matthew are out cutting hay so we’re doing the rest of the fence ourselves today.”
“Okay,” Patrick nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”
They continued to eat in silence for a bit longer. Royal finished first, standing up as he drained the last of his glass of orange juice.
“I’ll meet you outside in five?” He carried his plate to the sink.
“Sure, let me clean up in here and I’ll be right out.” Patrick shoved the last piece of pancake into his mouth. Royal gave him a nod before putting his hat on and making his way out the door. Patrick moved quickly, scrubbing the plates and utensils they had used clean. Once he had put everything to dry in the dish drainer, he slapped on his own cap, and tromped down the porch steps towards the waiting truck. Royal was just securing the tool box into the back with the rest of the materials.
“Ready to go?” Royal slammed the tailgate shut.
“Yep,” Patrick tilted his hat back a bit, and shoved his well-used gloves into his back pocket. “Let’s get going.” He slid into the passenger side of the truck –it was no question: Royal would drive. Royal always drove.
They didn’t talk very much once they got to the end of the fence line where he and Kentucky had finished off the night before. They worked in a relative silence, just offering direction to each other once in awhile. After an hour or so of working, Patrick sighed, tossing down his wire cutter and stopping to take a drink of water from the large 2-quart cooler. The ice swished around in the cooler as he lifted the spigot to his lips.
“Taking a break already? Slacker,” Royal teased.
“I can’t help it; it’s getting hot out here,” Patrick took off his hat and brushed his arm across his forehead. “You want some?” He held out the cooler.
“Sure,” Royal pushed up from the ground, joining him by the tailgate. He sucked down a few gulps, and for once Patrick couldn’t tear his eyes away from the way a few drops spilled past his lips and down his jaw. Royal didn’t seem to notice, closing the spigot and setting the cooler back down on the tailgate. He wiped his forearm against his mouth before the droplets could trail down his throat. “…You okay?”
Patrick blinked, shaking his head, “Yeah, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
“Well,” Royal couldn’t stop the smirk. “You stare at me a lot, but uh…usually you turn away when I’m doing something really sexy.”
Patrick flushed. His mouth opened to reply, but he wasn’t sure what to say.
“It’s cute –I’ve always thought it was cute,” Royal assured him. He pulled his gloves off, shoving them into his back pocket. He shifted himself in front of Patrick, pushing the younger man into the tailgate of the truck. “I’ve always thought you were cute. Pretty, which isn’t something I usually go for.” He reached up, pulling Patrick’s braid over his shoulder. “And your hair…fuck, kid, your hair.”
Patrick’s mouth dropped open, not sure what to say.
“It’s been awhile, right?” Royal’s face was close, lips brushing his ear. “I mean, you don’t go out much, I’ve met every boy you’ve ever slept with, just about. I assume, anyway.”
“Royal, what are you doing?” Patrick’s was barely a whisper. His gloved hands tightened around the edge of the tailgate.
“Nothing,” Royal gave a little head shake. He moved his hands to Patrick’s waist.
Patrick licked his lips, “Royal, this doesn’t really feel like nothing.”
“What does it feel like then?”
“It feels like you want me to help you cheat on Jacob.”
“Hard to cheat on Jacob when we’re not exactly together, isn’t it?” Royal’s lips pressed to a spot just under his ear. Patrick bit his tongue, his head tilting back somewhat involuntarily. It was odd how he knew exactly the spot that made him go the most weak-kneed, right off the bat.
“But you didn’t break it off officially,” Patrick reminded him. “You love him.”
Royal hummed, “I do love him.” His fingers moved under the hem of Patrick’s t-shirt, feeling the definition of his abs. “And that won’t change.”
“Then why are you doing this –why are you pulling me in to it?” Patrick finally reached up, pushing his hands against Royal’s stomach.
“I’m sorry,” Royal shook his head a little harder. “You’re right, I shouldn’t do that to you.” He swallowed, taking a step back. “Maybe we should just get back to work.” This time it was Royal who averted his eyes, moving back toward the fence as he pulled his gloves back out of his pocket. “Sorry.”
Patrick bit his lip, pausing for a moment before pushing off the truck. He couldn’t look in Royal’s direction as he pulled up his tools again, getting back to work. The silence between them was uncomfortable; not something either was used to in each other’s company. Patrick kept playing the scene over and over in his head, trying to figure out why he’d put a stop to it. He’d wanted to know what it was like to be Royal since he was seventeen years old. He’d even slept with a few guys who looked like him, just to see what it would be like, but he’d never let himself dream that it would be possible to get a chance with the real thing.
But what was it that Jacob had said the night before? “I think we should start fucking other people.” Had they actually discussed it, agreed to an open relationship? Or did they have a fight about it and Jacob had fessed up to the idea? There were too many unanswered questions, and he didn’t have enough gall to ask them up front.
“C’mon,” Royal finally broke the silence around midday. “Let’s go get some lunch.”
“Sure.” Patrick nodded. He tossed their extra barbed wire into the back of the truck, making sure that none of the little bits got left in the tall grass for the cows to step on, or worse swallow. They repacked their tools, and Patrick could feel the warm rise up his arm every time their skin brushed in the shared area.
“Shit, Patrick, don’t make it weird between us now,” Royal sighed, feeling him flinch. “You know things are strained between Jacob and I right now. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” He sighed, stepping back, putting a few feet between them. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
Patrick shook his head, “I don’t blame you or anything.” He gave him a hesitant smile, “I’m pretty hot.”
Royal shook his head, “Don’t tease me, kid. You have no idea how fast I could have you over the back of that truck.”
“I’ve got a pretty good idea,” Patrick shrugged. “But you won’t, no matter how much I tease, because…you’re faithful.” He shoved his gloves into his back pocket. “You wouldn’t do that to Jacob, not unless you had talked about it, which I doubt you did.”
“No,” Royal shook his head. “We didn’t talk about…other people. Just that we needed some separation.”
“Then until you do,” Patrick got up the gall to step up, looking Royal straight in the face, “I’m perfectly safe.”
“Don’t be so sure,” Royal’s fingers tightened around his jaw, nudging his face upward. “I don’t care too much about pleasing Jacob at the moment.” His lips brushed Patrick’s. It was subtle, but even Patrick could read the want in it. He sucked softly on Patrick’s bottom lip before breaking it off. “Jacob doesn’t make my decisions for me. I wouldn’t think twice about it, and I wouldn’t feel sorry about it afterwards.”
“Are you sure?”
Royal nodded, “Positive.”
“Then if it’s what you want, just do it,” Patrick shrugged. “I won’t say anything; won’t stop you.”
“It’s not any fun unless you want it too,” Royal’s fingers pulled at Patrick’s belt. “Don’t make it so easy to molest you.”
“Who says I don’t want it?” Patrick shrugged. “You obviously know how you make me feel. How you’ve always made me feel. You think this was all just a matter of time, right?”
“Shut up and stop asking for it,” Royal kissed him again, harder this time. His fingers linked into his belt loops, pulling him close. Patrick could feel the outline of his hard-on, pressing into his thigh. Patrick found himself lifted up onto the tailgate. He hit the toolbox and groaned. Royal reached up, shoving it skittering backwards into the truck. It fell over, making a loud metallic spilling sound, but the latch stayed firmly closed. Royal jerked him lower onto the back of the truck and Royal pulled his belt out of the loops, tossing it aside in to the grass. His lips grazed Patrick’s stomach as he jerked his jeans down his hips. Patrick’s fingers clenched around fistfuls of Royal’s hair and his mouth fell open in a gasp as he felt the hot, wet mouth wrap around him.
“Shh,” Royal coaxed. He stroked a hand up Patrick’s chest, pushing him back into the truck bed. Patrick’s hat fell back, rolling away. His mouth was expert and his hands were very well skilled too. Patrick didn’t feel like he could do anything but just let it happen. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to do anything. It had been way too long since the last time he’d done anything like this and it felt too good to let anything but the prospect of a good time sway him.
“Whaa?” He looked up as Royal pulled away. He leaned up on his elbows, ignoring the pain as his elbow scrapped against a stray piece of barbed wire. It was worth it as he watched Royal pull himself up onto the tailgate, already easing his own jeans down his hips. Patrick bit his tongue, his eyes following Royal’s hands as he pulled free of his jeans. He was hard already, at full attention. He didn’t even touch himself, pressing his palms against the grooved bed of the truck.
“Shit,” Patrick breathed as their members pressed together between their bodies. Royal silenced him with another kiss. He rocked their bodies together and practically devoured the younger man’s mouth, dipping his tongue past his lips and savoring the new taste. Patrick moaned, totally helpless. He hissed through his teeth as the sharp edge of the barbed wire scrapped his arm again. Royal didn’t notice; or if he did, he didn’t say anything about it. Patrick wrapped his arms around Royal’s shoulders, really kissing back for the first time.
It wasn’t about release all of a sudden. Not for him anyway. This was going to be short lived and he had to get everything out while he had the chance. His fingers moved underneath Royal’s shirt, wanting to feel every chiseled crevice, memorizing every solid inch. Just this one solitary experience would supply him enough fodder for a lot of interesting evenings alone.
“Close,” Royal whispered in his ear. He was heavy, pressing against him harder.
“Me too.” Patrick trailed to his hips, holding tightly, coaxing the rocking motion. He squeezed his eyes closed as he felt it –Royal’s first real shot, smearing across his stomach. He wasn’t far behind, perfectly timed to go. Royal was breathing heavily as he leaned up. He stroked himself a few times as he softened. He licked his lips, looking down at the mess they’d made –mostly on Patrick, almost none of it on him. He hiked his jeans back up over his hips, edging back down off the tailgate. His mouth went to the smears, licking Patrick’s taught belly clean. He didn’t say anything once every last trace was gone, taking a step back. He pressed the back of his hand to his mouth and turned away, moving around the truck to get in behind the steering wheel.
Patrick sat frozen for a minute before lifting up his hips to pull his jeans back up into place. He sighed, looking at the blood trickling down his arm. He picked up his hat, pressing it back on top of his head. He’d just had a really good time, so…why did he suddenly feel like such a fucking jackass?
--
“You’re bleeding,” Jacob was astute as always as the two walked into the kitchen. “What happened?”
“It’s just a scrape,” Patrick couldn’t even look at him as he went to the sink, twisting his arm around to rinse off the blood trail in the sink. He hissed through his teeth, looking at the damage. So, it was a little more than a scrape, but it wasn’t deep, and it certainly wasn’t life threatening.
“I’ll go get the first aid kid,” Jacob glanced between the two of them. He could feel that something was wrong. Really, really wrong, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what. He disappeared to the laundry room.
“I’m sorry,” Royal kept his voice quiet. “Are you okay?”
“Fine,” Patrick nodded. “Not your fault, I shouldn’t have just tossed it up in the truck bed like that anyway.”
“I’m not talking about that and you know it.” Royal turned Patrick’s face up to look him in the eye.
“Royal, I’m twenty-three years old. I can handle it,” Patrick pulled free and turned away from him again just as Jacob walked back into the kitchen with the first aid kit. He paused, looking at the both of them again.
“Am I missing something here?” He set the white box down on the counter, unclipping the latches to flip open the top. He opened the bottle of peroxide and poured it over the back of Patrick’s arm. It fizzed and the wounds turned white around the edges.
“Everything is fine,” Royal shrugged. “We just weren’t careful with some of the little bits, it was an accident.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Jacob’s face was hard as he looked up at Royal. Patrick bit his tongue. There it was: the fighting again. “What happened out there? Are you two fighting now too?”
“No,” Patrick assured him in that quiet tone he’d perfected. “Please, Jacob.”
Jacob sucked in a breath, pouring more peroxide onto the wounds. Once they cleared around the edges, he screwed the cap back on, putting it back in the first aid kit. He wrapped a few layers of gauze around Patrick’s arm before taking out a roll of the purple latex vet-wrap that they used on the animals. It stuck to itself, making a good bandage that pretty much nothing could get through. When he was finished, he re-latched the first aid kit.
“I don’t believe you –either of you,” he crossed his arms across his chest. “So, tell me what the hell’s got this fuckin’ weird vibe going on between the two of you.”
“Jacob,” Patrick sighed, pressing his hand against the wrap. His arm was starting to ache. He was pretty sure he was up-to-date on his vaccinations, and the barbed wire had been new, thank goodness, but that didn’t mean it didn’t sting like a bitch.
“You do something?” Jacob addressed him as Royal ignored him, pulling out leftovers from the night before to fix lunch. “C’mon, I should know, right? I’m your boss.”
“Jacob,” Royal’s issued warning. “Stop it.”
“What did you do? You don’t do that on purpose –c’mon, what is it?” Jacob ignored him. “You gonna tell me a story –you tripped in a rabbit hole, fell on some stray pieces?”
“I fucked him, okay?” Royal snapped, slapping the Tupperware bowl of salad onto the counter. “I did it; we were in the back of the truck. He caught his arm, probably when I got on top of him. Is that what you want?”
Jacob’s eyes flickered for just a second, before his face hardened, “Well, that was fast.”
“Jacob,” Patrick felt a new kind of panic in his chest –starting right at his heart. “It was…it was my fault. He wasn’t going to, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut; I basically coerced him. It…don’t, please?” He could feel the tears at the corner of his eyes. “I’m sorry.” He turned, striding as quickly as he could out of the kitchen. He was blind, but his feet took him down the porch stairs and across the yard. The screen door slapped closed behind him, and he slammed the thick wooden door closed. The alcove by the door was the only place in the house, not visible from any window. He sank down the door and let the tears fall down his cheeks. He almost never cried, especially not over something so trivial. He was just an under-developed supporting character in Royal and Jacob’s lives; he shouldn’t be taking this so hard. He pressed his palms to his eyes, waiting for the dampness to dry.
Back in the kitchen, neither Royal nor Jacob had moved. They heard the door slam across the yard and Royal made the slightest of flinches.
“Why would you do that?” Jacob’s voice was quiet. “Why do that to him? He’s just a kid –he thinks the world of you. He’d never stand up to you; or was that it? You knew it would be easy?”
“Fuck you,” Royal shook his head. “You don’t think I know it was wrong? It was fucking five minutes ago and I already know it was a mistake.”
“Don’t say that,” Jacob shook his head. “You never tell him that it was a mistake.” He took a step toward Royal. His hand twisted in the front of his shirt. “He’s only a kid, Royal. He’s been in love with you since the day you picked him up on the side of the road.”
“He stopped me at first,” Royal’s voice was quiet. “Then, like he said, he brought it upon himself. But it was my idea; I didn’t have to give in to him. I don’t regret it at all. I enjoyed it.”
“Asshole,” Jacob let go of his shirt. Royal’s head jerked with the force of the open-handed slap. He lifted his hand to do it again, but he hesitated for just a moment before stopping. His hand fell heavily to his side. “You know…I wouldn’t even be so pissed off about this if it had been anyone but him. You didn’t just fuck me over today, Royal. You might have just lost him too.”
Royal bit his tongue, leaning back against the counter as Jacob walked away from him. He closed his eyes as the porch door slapped shut. He could hear the gravel crunch under Jacob’s boots as he walked away. He sighed, running his hands across his face and through his hair. For about ten minutes of pleasure, he’d probably just fucked up anything good that had ever happened to him.

“Patrick, open the fucking door,” Jacob sighed. His hands pressed to his hips, and he squeezed his eyes closed, listening for him, but he couldn’t hear a thing. “Goddamn it, Patrick, I know you’re there and I know you can hear me.” He sighed again, a little louder this time. “Patrick, I’m not angry at you. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine,” Patrick’s voice didn’t really back up the statement.
“C’mon…let me in.”
“No.”
“Patrick, c’mon, you’re pissing me off.”
“Jacob, I don’t –I can’t.”
“Are you okay?” Jacob squashed down the battling feelings welling up in his chest. Priorities. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
“No,” Patrick couldn’t even keep the disbelief out of his voice. “God no.”
“You swear? You’d tell me if he did, right?”
“Jacob, I’m twenty-three fucking years old.” He could hear Patrick edging up from the floor and he jerked open the door. His face, usually so proud looking, was tear-stained. His skin was coated in a fine layer of dirt from being outside working, and the trails down his cheek were marked clean. “I’m not a child.”
“I know that,” Jacob assured him.
“I did this, not him.”
Jacob didn’t argue.
“He came on to me, I could have stopped him, but I didn’t. I did at first –I couldn’t help myself.”
“Patrick, this isn’t your fault.”
“Yes it is,” he pushed open the screen door. Jacob stepped inside the entryway. “I shouldn’t have…we didn’t really even have sex, Jacob. I mean, we were out in the field. We didn’t have lube, or condoms, and you know Royal would never –not even with me.”
“I know,” Jacob reached for him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “I know.” Patrick pressed his face into his neck, the tears starting up again.
“He told me he loved you.”
Jacob bit his tongue, patting the back of his head, “I know he does.”
“I don’t know what to do, Jacob,” Patrick pulled free from him.
“Don’t be anything but you,” Jacob shook his head. “Why don’t you get something to eat, and keep yourself busy out in the barn this afternoon? I’ll go back out to the fence with Royal.”
Patrick nodded. His fingers clamped around his arm again, the dull ache still not subsiding. “Okay.”
“I’m not mad, Patrick,” Jacob repeated his earlier statement. “And I’m certainly not mad at you.”
“Okay,” Patrick nodded again.
Jacob opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself, running his fingers through his hair with a sigh. “You might not make a whole heck of a lot of sense of everything right now, but…you’ll understand later.”
“What are you gonna do?” Patrick asked. He started down at their shoes –he was wearing steel-toed sneakers while Jacob had donned a pair of Red Wing work boots.
“What do you mean?”
“What’s going to happen?” Patrick looked up. “Between you and Royal, between the three of us –it’s all changed now. We can’t have that faux-father-son thing anymore, not after what we did.”
“That’s between you and Royal,” Jacob shrugged. “To me, you’re still the same sweet kid we took in when you were seventeen, Patrick. And, as for me and him, well…I don’t know. We’ll work it out, I promise. And, it’ll go back to the way it’s supposed to.”
Patrick gave a slight nod, “Right.”
“Go get some food,” Jacob nodded towards the kitchen. “I’ll see you later.”
Patrick nodded again and didn’t look up again as Jacob stepped back out of the house and down the porch steps. He waited until he back across the yard before closing the door again, more softly this time. He didn’t sink back to the floor and instead forced him to the kitchen for food. No sense in taking the bosses orders.

“You don’t have to help me,” Royal crossed his arms over his chest, blocking the door to the truck cab. “I can do it by myself.”
“It will go faster with the two of us,” Jacob put his hands on his hips.
“You really want to be out there with me?” Royal pushed.
“Out there, we can scream at each other as loud and as long as we want and no one will hear us.”
Royal sucked in a breath, moving around the truck. He slammed the door behind him after he had slid into the driver’s seat. Jacob pulled himself into the passenger side of the truck, and Royal turned over the engine.
“I just want to know why,” he started talking as soon as they were on their way out of the yard.
“Why what?”
“Why that, why there, why him, why now? Any why you can think of filling in for me.”
“Because I wanted it –because it was convenient, because he was there, because it’s been three fucking months since the last time I’ve been that close to anyone, much less you.” Royal let his eyes slide from the path to look at Jacob. The field was empty so there wasn’t much danger of an accident.
“So you’re blaming me?”
“I’m not blaming anyone, there is no blame. It’s a fact, Jacob. We haven’t fucked months, and even then its been sporadic the last year or so. We spend every single night in the same bed and you never even touch me anymore. I know every inch of your body, everything that gets you hot…but you don’t seem to want me.”
“Of course I want you,” Jacob sighed, shaking his head. “This just happens, Royal. We’ve been together for almost ten years. We spent the first seven fucking almost daily. Plus, we’re getting older, Royal. We don’t have the same libido as we did when we were in our twenties –fuck, I in my forties already.”
“Don’t play it off like you’re getting old, Jacob. We both know that’s bullshit. You’ve lost interest –we’ve both lost interest.”
“No,” Jacob shook his head. Royal jerked the truck into park near where they’d finished off the fence. “Goddamn it, Royal. I don’t know what you want from me. I’m trying so hard right now…but all I can think about is that...what you did with him, right here.”
“Where no one could hear us scream, right?”
“Did you like it?”
“Do you really want to hear the answer to that?”
“Yes.”
“Yes, I enjoyed it. I might even rank in my top five, bumping down that time we went to White Party in Orlando.”
Jacob rubbed the tips of his fingers at the corners of his eyes. He hated how totally frank Royal could be sometimes. It had started pissing him off; he used to find it endearing. “If I hadn’t asked, would you have told me?”
“Probably, eventually.”
“You made him feel like shit,” Jacob leaned against the door, shifting in his seat. “It was really unfair for you to do that to him.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Jacob. We did it, I can’t turn back time and talk myself out of it. It’s too late for that; it’s done. What do you want from me?”
“I want you to tell me that nothing is going to be different because of this. That you’re not going to treat him any differently because you had ten minutes of stupidity.”
“Of course not,” Royal sighed. “He’s second only to you in my affections, Jacob.”
“Really?” Jacob cocked an eyebrow. “You’re doing a pretty shitty job of showing that.”
Royal sighed, “What do you want from me, Jacob? Do you want me to fuck you too? Is that what you want? What you’ve been waiting for? I’ll do it, if that’s what you want from me –right here, right now. I’ll do to you what I did to him. That’s what this is about right?”
Jacob shook his head, getting out of the truck. He walked around the side to the tailgate, lifting it down to pull out the toolbox. Royal slammed his own door, joining him at the back of the truck.
“You wanted to talk, so talk. Like you said –we can stay whatever we need out here. There isn’t anyone around to hear us.”
Jacob pulled the toolbox down, setting it on the ground. He brushed any stray bits of barbed wire out of the way before grabbing the front of Royal’s shirt and shoving him against the back of the truck. It creaked, and Royal groaned, putting out his hands to stop himself. His hat tipped forward and he reached up to right it.
“Shit, Jacob,” he started to turn around, but Jacob’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.
“I don’t know what to do anymore, Royal,” his hand moved down his lover’s back. “What you did today, that wasn’t your fault and it wasn’t Patrick’s fault. It was mine. I practically put the idea into his head myself last night that it was okay. That I wanted this to happen; maybe I did.” His hand stopped on the small of Royal’s back and slid around his hip. He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around his waist. Royal was warm and he pressed his forehead to the middle of his back. “I just don’t know.”
Royal’s fingers flexed against the tailgate. “Jacob.”
He pulled free, stepping back, and kneeling down to open up the tool box.
“Jacob,” Royal turned around. “Talk to me, please?”
“And say what?”
“Anything.”
“He said that you told him that you loved me.”
“I do love you, you know that.”
“And you don’t feel at all sorry about what you did?”
Royal shook his head, “No, I can’t. I told him I wouldn’t and I don’t. The same way I’ve never felt bad about us.”
“You’re not even thinking twice about it, are you?”
“Is it a crime to enjoy yourself?” Royal shrugged. “He enjoyed it –it’s been even longer for him then for me. He deserved it.”
“I won’t deny that he could probably have used a good fuck, but from you?”
“Why not me?”
“Because you’ve been like his father for the last seven years,” Jacob finally looked up at him. “This is disgusting.”
“I took care of him but I’ve never been his father.”
“You need to apologize to him.”
“Why? He liked it just as much as I did. I’m sorry he got hurt –we should have been more careful. I’m not sorry that we had sex –or, as near as we could get out here at any rate.”
“You need to apologize because we can’t go back to the way it was. The two of us…I can forgive you. I know you, I know it a one-time indiscretion. But between the two of you, I don’t know. I don’t know if I can keep him here.”
“You can’t fire him.”
“Of course not,” Jacob shook his head. “And if you apologize, he won’t feel like he has to go so that we can stay together. He’s a runner, Royal. It’s what he does when he’s scared.”
“He wouldn’t just leave.”
“You don’t know that,” Jacob shook his head. “For all I know, he’s packing up right now and he’ll be gone by the time we get back.”
“Fuck you,” Royal spat. “He wouldn’t do that.”
Jacob shrugged. “Why don’t you go find out.”
“Fuck you,” he repeated. He moved around the truck, getting back into the drivers seat. Jacob took a few steps back as he revved the engine and pealed out, sending dirt and grass flying.

Patrick had started mucking out stalls in the barn and was just about finished when heard the ruckus of the farm truck stirring up gravel in the lot. He leaned his pitchfork in one of the stalls before heading for the door. He watched, quizzical, as Royal got out of the truck and made his way over to him.
Royal didn’t say a word, grabbing him by the shoulders and shoving him against the stack of straw bales. Patrick didn’t even have time to protest as Royal’s lips found his. It took a few extra moments for his wits to return to him and give him the strength to shove Royal away.
“What the fuck are you doing?” He breathed.
“I don’t know,” Royal shook his head. “Nothing makes sense today.”
“I thought you were out working on the fence with Jacob.”
“I was –we were going to. We…he said you might leave.”
“What? Why would I –Royal, this is my home now. I mean, if you or Jacob asked me to leave, I would, but…” He shook his head. “I’m not a stupid kid anymore.”
“I know,” Royal started to reach for him again, but Patrick side stepped him.
“Please don’t.”
Royal sank down onto one of the bales, putting his head in his hands, “Fuckin’-A, Patrick.”
“We can’t do that again –any of it. I can’t touch you, you can’t touch me. I won’t become a bigger part of anything coming between you and Jacob. I can’t!”
“Jacob and I are fine,” Royal shook his head. “He’s…he says he can forgive me.”
“Saying he can and actually doing it are different.”
“He will –he does. But, things can’t go back to normal until I know things are all right between the two of us.” Royal looked up at him. He folded his hands, and tapped his fingers against his lips.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Is there going to be this uncomfortable tension between us the rest of our lives or are you eventually going to forgive me for coercing you?”
“I wanted it as much as you did, more even.”
“Then why do you feel so guilty? I can see it in your face.”
Patrick sighed, picking up the pitchfork again and going back to his task, “Royal, I’ve known you for years –the both of you. You guys took care of me, made sure I stayed on track, got to college, offered me a job when I finished. I owe you guys more then I could ever think of paying back.”
“You don’t owe us anything,” Royal shook his head.
“But I do, which is why no matter what fucked up shit happens around here, I won’t leave and you can be certain that even if you asked, I wouldn’t go without some kind of fight.”
Royal nodded, “All right.”
“I’m sorry about earlier, I shouldn’t have egged you on. You’re right, I was asking for it. I wanted it, but that’s no excuse.”
“Do you regret it?”
“I don’t know, it was only an hour ago, Royal.”
“I don’t regret it at all,” Royal assured him. “It’s okay to admit that you liked it.”
“I’m just confused, but…I’m always a little confused. Everything is fine between us, Royal. Why don’t we just forget that this happened –we can’t let ten minutes change our entire lives, okay?”
Royal gave him a nod, “Yeah, you’re right.”
“So…go get your man,” Patrick nodded in the general direction of the fence. “He’s waiting for you to sweep him back off his feet, you know.”
Royal nodded, pushing up from the bale. As he walked away from the barn, Patrick leaning against his pitchfork to watch him go, he couldn’t help but feel like he was leaving behind a golden opportunity.